Ep #176: When You Don’t Want to do the Work

Hi! If you ever find yourself getting sick and tired of doing all the work it takes for you to not binge, then I have two things that are going to help you.

One is what I’m going to be talking about in this episode today.

And the other is The Stop Binge Eating Program which registration will be opening up for this Thursday, December 16^th, 2021!

When you’re doing this work, you may find yourself not wanting to do it because you feel overwhelmed. You get confused because there’s so much information laid out before you. You’re not sure where to start or what to do next.

But in the program, I’m going to streamline the process and show you the most important parts of this work for you to actually be working on.

I’m going to guide you and help you get out of confusion.

I want to make it easier and simpler for you.

And if those moments come up when you find yourself confused, or unmotivated, I’ll be there for you.

You get a lot of access to me inside of The Stop Binge Eating Program.

If you come to me when you need me, you will see changes in yourself.

If you do what you learn to do in the program, you will see changes in yourself.

But only if you stay committed and that’s also one of the beautiful things about making an investment in yourself and committing to a program.

When you have skin in the game, you are more likely to be committed.

For a lot of people, being committed to the program because they invested in it, is what keeps them in the work.

I know that’s happened to me before with programs I’ve done. I’m going to get my money’s worth!

So if you’re ready to take what you’ve been learning on the podcast to the next level, and do this work with me by your side, and finally stop binge eating so you can stop feeling so frustrated, ashamed, and hopeless and start feeling more confident, relaxed, and trusting in yourself, then join me in this next round of my program.

We’re going to start off 2022 with a bang and this is going to be your year that you don’t drop off from your New Year’s Resolution in just a few weeks, or days into the new year. You’re going to stay committed until you get to your goal.

You’re going to make 2022 the year that you stop binge eating and I would love to help you do it.

You can get all the info about how the program works and what’s included by going to coachkir.com/group and there’s also a link in the show notes.

There’s so much good stuff in there, I can’t wait to go on this ride with you.

Okay, so that’s one way that you’re going to get yourself to actually do the work. You’re going to commit to doing it with me.

Now onto the other.

You’re going to stop thinking about the work in such dreadful, exhausting, and overwhelming ways.

If you’re thinking that it’s too much work, it’s exhausting, it’s too hard, or it’s not working, this is not going to be a useful way to think about your binge eating work.

You’re making it into something way bigger than it is and making it sound like a really undesirable experience.

But really, the work itself is just work. It’s basically just paying attention to yourself, being present, feeling discomfort, and thinking intentionally by telling yourself useful thoughts.

When you start telling yourself that doing all that is too much or too hard, you’re going to start feeling dread and overwhelm.

So of course you’re not going to want to do it if you’re thinking about it this way and making yourself feel that way.

And on top of that, you might not be thinking about yourself very usefully either.

“I’m too tired, I don’t feel like it, I can’t do this right now.”

Talk about making yourself feel helpless and weak.

If you’re feeling helpless or weak, and also feeling dread, overwhelm, and mentally exhausted, then you are for sure not going to put in any effort to do the work you know to do.

Now, if you’re legit tired, which a lot of you are when you’re thinking this way, it may be more of a challenge for you to do the work.

But it’s not impossible. And you’re not making it any easier by thinking so negatively about the work and about yourself.

You are capable of paying attention to yourself, being present, feeling discomfort, and thinking deliberately, even when you’re tired.

Give yourself the credit you deserve.

Don’t give up on yourself just because you’re tired.

This work is work, I’m not going to deny that.

It’s going to take energy and effort.

And you are capable of putting energy and effort into things.

You do it all the time.

What’s going to make it easier for you to do it is taking away the obligation and pressure to do it and instead, telling yourself why you want to do it.

You probably find yourself thinking you have to do this work.

But how do you feel when you think that? Well, if you don’t really want to do it because you’re tired and you think the work is exhausting, you’re not going to feel very good.

You probably try that with so many things in your life and aren’t seeing the best outcome for you.

Maybe you tell yourself you have to go to bed when you really want to stay up and watch tv or play around on your phone.

Maybe you tell yourself you have to go to the gym when you’d really rather sit around and relax.

Or maybe you tell yourself you have to get to work when you really want to do anything but that.

Telling yourself you have to do these things might light a fire under your butt and get you going but, a lot of you have probably seen first hand that you can also tell yourself you have to do it and then you don’t. At least not for several minutes, maybe an hour or longer.

“I have to” just typically doesn’t feel good and motivating.

Like I said, a lot of the time it feels like pressure and obligation, which most of you do not like.

So instead of telling yourself that you have to pay attention to yourself, you have to observe your body, you have to feel your feelings, you have to allow your urges, you have to think a certain way, tell yourself why you want to.

The truth is, no one is forcing you to do any of this work.

You’re the one who decides to do it or not and simply saying you’re going to do it because you have to probably isn’t going to be a good enough reason.

So if you’re going to decide to do this work, even when you’re tired, even when you’ve been doing it for awhile, even when you haven’t been seeing the results you’re wanting to see, why are you going to do it?

Why do you want to? Why are you choosing to?

Thinking about it this way puts you in the drivers seat, puts you in an empowered place, and is going to give you a motive for why you’re going to do it, a good motive that provides you with the motivation to get to work.

You’re going to choose to do the work because you have good reasons to, reasons that inspire you into action, and you’re thinking about why you want to do it or what the consequence of not doing it will be.

When you want to do the work, it’s going to be so much easier for you to do it, no matter what your circumstances are.

So I want you to notice when you’re thinking negatively about the work.

How you think about it is a choice.

You may think it’s factual that it’s exhausting, too much, or too hard but, it’s not.

That’s not just how it is and we know this because there are other people who are doing the same work and thinking it’s just work.

It’s just what they’re doing, it’s just what is going to get them to where they want to be, and I want to offer another thought for you too.

Being able to do this work is a gift.

How amazing is it that you have the ability to think about what you’re doing, to have self-awareness, to be able to tell yourself what you want to be thinking, to be able to control your behavior instead of just acting on all impulses.

How amazing is it that you have knowledge of the work that will stop you from binge eating, and how amazing is it that there is a way for you to stop yourself from binge eating?

It’s so amazing!

So why not think of it as being so.

I’ll tell you, if you’re thinking about this work as more of a gift than as something dreadful, you are going to feel a lot more motivated to do it.

And when you’re thinking about what the outcome of doing the work will be, you’ll feel more driven to do it.

And also, what the outcome of not doing it would be.

You don’t have to do the work. You can just eat whatever whenever and binge your brains out but, how do you imagine that would work out for you?

It’s the same with your job. You don’t have to go to your job, no one is coming to your home and forcing you to work but, if you didn’t work, how would that work out for you?

Probably not well. So you work so you can make money and pay for all the things in your life and you work to avoid the consequences of not working.

You’re going to do the work to stop binge eating because you want the outcome of doing it and you don’t want the outcome of not doing it.

You’re going to do this work because you can.

You have the gift of being able to stop yourself from bingeing by implementing a few tools into your life in a moment when you’re feeling an urge. Why would you not take advantage of that?

Your brain might want to say, “because it’s so hard.”

Stop it. It’s only as hard as you think it is and you’re making it harder by thinking that.

And even if it is hard, so what? You’re going to do it anyway because you can and because you want to. You want to do it because you want the outcome of doing it.

So if you notice yourself not wanting to do the work, look at how you’re thinking about the work.

Notice how undesirable you’re making the work seem.

Work is just work and anything you think about it is your choice.

Choose to think about it in a way that’s going to make you want to do it.

Alright, that’s how you’re going to get yourself to stop dreading the work.

And to get more tools and tips for how you’re going to stay in the game and not give up on yourself, and to know what the work is actually going to be for you, make sure you join me in The Stop Binge Eating Program.

Registration for the next round is opening up this Thursday, December 16^th and you can sign up and get all the info about the program, and how it works by going to coachkir.com/group.

I’m so excited to do this work with you and kick binge eating to the curb in 2022!

Let’s freakin’ go!

I’ll see you there.

Bye bye.