I was talking with a woman recently who said she is able to not binge before she meets up with other people, but has a hard time when she knows she doesn’t have to leave the house and will be alone for a while.
She said she doesn’t want to let them down by showing up feeling awful post-binge or cancelling altogether.
But if she’s just alone it doesn’t matter.
What she is really saying is that how she shows up for herself doesn’t matter.
That she doesn’t matter, and her reason is that it’s because she doesn’t value herself.
How you act toward someone you value is much different than with someone you don’t.
With relationships you value, you follow through on commitments, maybe do things that are hard or things you don’t feel like doing for them. You do it because you value them.
But what about yourself? Do you value yourself enough to do hard things and things you don’t feel like doing just to benefit your own well-being?
Do you think you are important and worthy?
If you don’t think so, if you don’t value yourself, then saying no when you feel an urge to binge is going to be very difficult.
You don’t have to think you’re the most amazing person, but you can’t keep telling yourself that you’re not worth the hard work it takes to stop binge eating or that how you feel doesn’t matter to you.
It’s hard to not give in to urges to binge and if you’re thinking you don’t deserve to reap the benefits of that hard work then you’re not even going to try.
If there’s anyone you should be working hard for it’s you.
You are the most important person in your life.
You have value, you just need to open your eyes to it.
If you’re having a hard time, start with the reasons why you don’t value yourself. List them out.
Look at that list.
Everything on that list is a lie.
Every. Single. Thing.
Pick one that you can clearly see isn’t true and start with that one. What’s the truth behind that thought about yourself? Practice believing the truth. Deliberately think about it every day.
You do matter.
You are worthy.
You deserve to have a great life.