Ep #133: Your Worthiness

Hi! You guys, I celebrated my birthday this past weekend! This episode is being released a few weeks after I record it so when you’re hearing this, my birthday was a few weeks ago, and I’m officially in my final year of my thirties. 

 

39, here we go! I gotta say, I’m totally cool with it, no drama. I’ve never really had drama about getting older that I can remember. I’m happy with my life, I’m happy with myself, and I’m so happy to be here with you helping you to be the same way.

 

So let’s go.

 

Let’s talk about your worthiness.

 

In the last two episodes I talked about your binge-free identity and lovability. Those topics and this one all tie back to the coaching call with Tammy that I shared from one of my groups. It was episode #130 in case you missed it.

 

This final one, worthiness, is one that I hear come up a lot with people and it’s time we stop this nonsense.

 

Be warned, this episode is going to be a little ranty. 

 

Too many of you have gotten it into your minds that your worthiness is dependent on something.

 

You think it depends on how much you weigh, how you eat, your relationship status, your career status, so many things.

 

Did someone tell you this or are did you just come up with it all on your own?

 

If someone told you this, they were wrong. If you came up with it, you’re wrong.

 

You’re looking at a circumstance in your life and you’re making it mean something it doesn’t mean.

 

You’re thinking you’re not good enough, that there’s something wrong with you, that you’re not deserving because of your body, your job, your singleness, your eating, your whatever.

 

But why? Why the heck not?

 

When people tell me they’re not worthy I love asking them why because they always answer with one of two answers.

 

One is a circumstance of their life, such as things I said before like their body, their career or relationship status, their binge eating, things like that.

 

I think the most common that I hear in the line of work I do is the body one so let’s go there.

 

It’s very similar to what I talked about last week with lovability.

 

You might think you’re unworthy of love, of a better job, of respect, of having the life of your dreams because of what your body looks like.

 

But, there are other people in this world who are overweight and who you think are worthy and deserving of all of those things.

 

How?!

 

Why them and not you?

 

It doesn’t make sense and this leads to the other answer I get which is, “I don’t know.”

I ask people why they’re not worthy and they can’t find an answer because they know those other things I said are total BS.

 

They say they don’t know after searching their brain for an answer because they can’t find one and they can’t find one because there isn’t one!

 

There is no answer to why you aren’t worthy of everything you want because you are 100% worthy and there is nothing you can do to change that.

 

So then, you may wonder why you don’t have everything you want if you’re indeed worthy of it.

 

It has nothing to do with your worthiness. It has everything to do with how you’re thinking, especially about yourself.

 

If you’re thinking you’re unworthy, not good enough, not deserving, then you’re going to feel unworthy and down on yourself. When you feel that way you’re not going to be inspired into action, you’re going to not try and just stay where you are, not having what it is you want. Then you’re going to look at your life, not having what you want and think you have proof that you’re not worthy because you don’t have it. 

 

But the thing is, you created that result of you not having what you want. You didn’t go for it because you felt unworthy and down on yourself. You felt that way because of how you were thinking about yourself, not because you’re not worthy. Because you were thinking you’re not.

 

You’re simply a person, in a body, in a job or career, in a relationship, a marriage, or not, eating the way you are.

 

Why are you choosing to think that these things make you unworthy of the things you want?

 

Why are you choosing to think you’re not worthy of love because of your body?

 

Why are you choosing to think you’re not worthy of your dream life because of your eating habits?

 

Why are you determining your worthiness by these things? 

 

And do you do it with other people too?

 

Most likely you don’t. 

 

Most likely you’d look around at the people in your life and regardless of what they’ve done and where they are in their lives you’d think they’re worthy of what they want.

 

If you don’t, I’d challenge you on that.

 

Are you saying they’re not because you don’t like them or because you’re jealous of them? Where is that thought coming from? Most likely it’s not a kind place. There’s probably some sort of friction behind that. 

 

I find it to be interesting, why people think other people aren’t worthy. Those people put in the work to get what they have or they were born into it or got a lucky break somehow. 

 

With the first one, I see people often think someone hasn’t put in any work to get where they are but when you break it down, the steps the took to get there, there was a lot of work put in. Don’t discredit them. 

 

And if they were born into it or got a lucky break, why does that make them less worthy of what they’re received? Is it because they didn’t work for it? 

 

If that’s the case, are we all not deserving of what we have that we didn’t work for? Or just them? 

 

Am I not deserving of things I’ve won in drawings? I can think of several and I didn’t work for any of them. I just entered my name and I was given them. It was luck. 

 

Am I not deserving of being an American? I didn’t work for that, I was just born here.

 

The point is, I want you to notice where you’re making exceptions for worthiness and how you’re setting double standards. 

 

Not only might you be doing it with other people but for yourself.

 

So let’s find out where you might be doing it for yourself.

 

What do you want that you think you’re worthy and deserving of? Including both things you want that you already have and things you want that you don’t have. What are you worthy of that you want?

 

And what do you want that you think you’re not worthy of and deserving of that you have and don’t have?

Any why? Why are you worthy of the things you said you are and not the things you said you aren’t? What determines this?

It’s only you that does. You’re making up these parameters for what you’re worthy of based on circumstances of your life.

 

What if everyone was worthy of everything they want, including you? What if everyone deserves everything they have, including you?

 

All simply because we are all humans on this planet.

 

Your body and your eating habits have nothing to do with your worthiness.

 

There are plenty of people who have what they want in their lives AND have unhealthy eating habits AND who are overweight.

 

Are they worthy of all they want? 

 

Are you? 

 

Who do you know personally, in your life, that isn’t worthy of what they want?

 

Most of the time when I ask my group members this question they can’t think of anyone.

 

Just themselves and the reasons they come up with are total BS of course.

 

How can everyone else be worthy and deserving and you’re not?

 

Your binge eating and your body have nothing to do with your worthiness. Nothing.

 

You are born worthy and nothing can change that.

 

You deserve everything you want. 

 

Believe this and then go get it. 

 

There is not one good reason why you aren’t worthy. Not one.

 

Your worthiness is determined by nothing except your humanness. You have that and therefore you’re worthy. End of story. 

 

So go out there and get all you are worthy of and deserve.

 

It may take some effort to get it but you’re capable of putting in that effort. 

 

Put it in because it will be totally worth it.

 

That’s all for today, bye bye.