Ep #210: When You’ve Tried Everything and Nothing’s Working

Hi! Are you aware that registration for The Stop Binge Eating Group Coaching Program is closing this Friday, August 12^th of 2022 at 10am ET? So if you’re thinking about joining, get on it!

You could end this year being binge-free. How cool would that be? How cool would it be to not start the next year with a resolution to stop binge eating because you already did? Pretty freakin’ cool!

And it’s possible. If you go all in and commit yourself to this process, you could do it.

And what’s also really cool about doing the program during this time of year is that you’ll be getting support through the holiday season which I know can be a challenging time with all the food and events and people and things. You’ll get started before the holidays begin, get yourself learning, applying, and growing, building those skills, and so when the holidays come around, you’ll already have had so much practice.

If this is something you’ve been considering doing for awhile, there’s obviously a part of you that really wants to do it and I know it can be scary when you see it as a risk and you’re not sure exactly what you’re getting into.

But don’t let fear stop you from doing something that could change your life.

It’s too important.

You don’t have to live your life as a binge eater, experiencing all the shame, guilt, embarrassment, low energy, feeling extremely full, and all the other bad feelings that binge eating adds to your life.

There is a way out, for everyone, and if you think I’m the person who can help you do it, then let’s do it together.

If you go to coachkir.com/group you’ll get all the info about the program and you can register there as well.

And if you have any questions that aren’t answered there, email info@coachkir.com and ask all the questions you have.

Again, registration will only be open for a few more days as of the time this episode is released so don’t wait too long to make your decision and then miss the deadline.

Get the help you’re wanting.

Especially if you’ve been trying on your own for awhile and what you’ve been trying hasn’t been working.

Maybe it works sometimes or for a little while but, your bingeing hasn’t stopped.

And that brings me to today’s topic about when you try everything and nothing’s working.

That’s something I hear people say a lot when they email me or contact me on social media. I used to say it myself too.

It’s so discouraging when you try everything that you know to do and you’re still bingeing.

You think you’re doing everything right, you’ve listened to so many podcasts and videos and read so many books and articles and you’ve done everything they say to do.

So why the heck are you still bingeing?

This is one of those things that causes people to give up on themselves and think they’re the special case, they’re broken, they’re unfixable.

The things they learn to do have worked or are working for other people, they hear the stories, and since it’s not working for them, it must be them that is wrong. It’s their mind, their body, their brain.

It’s just not possible for them.

And when you’ve gained a lot of knowledge, and you’re hearing the same things over and over again, it’s easy to believe that you’ve heard everything.

That you really have heard it all and you’ve tried it all and there’s nothing else out there.

That’s how I felt when I’d search the internet and get the same suggestions over and over and even though I’d tried them all, I was still bingeing.

So today, I want to get to the bottom of this for you.

If you think nothing’s working for you, and you’ve tried everything, it’s time to open your mind to the possibility that that’s not true.

The first thing I want you to ask yourself is, what have you tried and what are you trying?

Although binge eating is a lot more understood than it used to be, there’s still a lot of unhelpful advice out there in the world.

Things like diets, distraction, fighting urges, restricting your food, and calorie counting just aren’t going to work for the majority of people.

So if you’ve been trying any of those without getting lasting success, there’s definitely not anything wrong with you. Those just aren’t useful long-term solutions for you, and for most people.

So first, make sure you’re working on things that are actually going to be useful things to do to stop binge eating long-term.

Once you’re clear with yourself what will actually help, and if you’ve been listening to this podcast for awhile I would hope you’d know what will, and if you’ve new to the podcast, welcome! Now go listen to more episodes.

The next thing for you to do is ask yourself if you’re being consistent with what you’re doing.

Be honest with yourself about this. Are you being consistent or are you having little quits when it gets hard or your don’t feel like it or you’re tired?

If you’re not being consistent with eating enough, allowing yourself to eat foods you want to be eating, feeling your emotions without eating to feel better, and not giving in to your urges to binge, then you’re not going to create new habits, new neural pathways in your brain, and create long-lasting changes.

You’re not going to change yourself if you aren’t consistent.

So if this is the case, it’s not that nothing’s working, it’s that you’re not doing it consistently enough.

It’s like if a person says what they’re doing to lose weight isn’t working when they’re not actually following their weight loss plan. The plan isn’t the problem. The problem is that they’re not following it.

So make sure you’re following your stopping binge eating plan. Actually do what you know to do.

Which brings me to the next thing.

If you’re doing what you know to do and you’re still binge eating, there’s more for you to know and to do.

There is something you’re not seeing that is stopping you from stopping binge eating.

From what I see, this is the most common of the issues.

This is what I see happening to most of my group members when they’re in my program.

They have so much knowledge, they know what to do, they think they’re doing it all but, they’re not.

They’re missing something and having me as their coach, on the outside looking in, allows for me to point out to them what they’re not doing, or what they are doing that is making it hard for them to do what they want to be doing.

You may be doing a lot of things right. But there might be one or two or multiple things that you’re doing that are getting the way, or things that you’re not doing that you need to be doing.

You might be working on not giving in to your urges to binge but every time you try, you get annoyed that it’s there, or annoyed that it’s lasting for as long as it is. It’s not that not giving in to your urges doesn’t work, what’s not working is you getting annoyed instead of accepting that it’s there and for however long it is.

You might be working on not overly restricting your food but are still holding on to sneaky restrictions that you don’t see as unhelpful restrictions. I know for me I thought I wasn’t restricting anymore but when I look back, I so was.

Or you might be only focusing on eating enough and allowing all the food, which is so important but, you’re not addressing the emotional part of the problem, you’re still eating to avoid emotions. Or maybe for you it’s the other way around.

And these examples are only a few of so many that I see.

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve pointed out to someone that they’re doing something that is getting in the way and they didn’t even realize they were doing it or that it was a problem until I showed them.

So even though you think you’re doing everything right, there is most likely something you’re doing that’s stopping you from not bingeing.

Okay, so whether it’s the method you’ve been trying, lack of consistency, or just not seeing what’s not working, there is something else you can try to do.

When you tell yourself nothing’s working, you’re going to feel defeated and probably give up.

So instead of saying that “nothing’s working,” ask yourself, “Why isn’t this working?”

Figure out why it’s not working.

And if you genuinely can’t figure it out, reach out for help.

Whether that be to me or to someone else, an outside perspective can change everything for you.

None of us can see everything, especially when we’re the one in the problem.

How many times have you been able to see the solution for someone else’s problem when they can’t see it? They’re so lost yet it’s so clear to you.

Someone else can do that for you with your binge eating if you’re having a hard time doing it yourself.

That’s so much of what I do as a coach.

And just know that there is something that will work for everyone. I honestly believe that.

There are so many methods for stopping binge eating. There are tons of people in this world who help people to stop binge eating and all of them have differing approaches and styles.

The ways you’ve tried aren’t the only ways.

You haven’t tried everything.

You will figure out how to make this work for you.

Now, before I go, I just want to offer again the opportunity to work with me on this in my coaching program with my coaching methodology which you’ve been learning about throughout all these episodes on the podcast.

If it has resonated with you and you want to make more progress than you have been on your own, join me in the next round.

Again, the deadline to register is this Friday August 12^th of 2022 at 10am ET and you can get the info and sign up at coachkir.com/group.

Maybe this is the thing that will work for you.

Maybe I’m the coach that you’ve been needing.

You’ll never know unless you try.

Have a wonderful week, trying new things if the old things aren’t working.

Bye bye.