Ep #180: Designing and Creating Your Ideal Eating Habits

Hello! How the heck are you? I’m so pumped for two reasons.

One, January of 2022 has just begun as I’m recording this, I’m only two days away from the start of a Stop Binge Eating Program! I cannot wait to meet everyone in the group and take them through the process of stopping binge eating. It’s going to be amazing and I’m so excited for all the new ideas I have for them!

They’re going to get more accountability than any group before them, they’re of course going to get tools for their specific struggles, a clear understanding of why they keep eating how they’re eating and how to change it, and, because we’re doing this as a team and we’re working together, they’re going to save so much time. Team work making the dream work baby!

If that sounds like something you want too, registration for the next round of the program will open on March 10^th 2022 and you can find all the info at coachkir.com/group. If you have any questions, feel free to email them to info@coachkir.com.

As for the second thing I’m pumped about, I’ve just been thinking about the year ahead, as I usually do this time of year, and I’m so freakin’ excited to help more and more people to stop binge eating.

I have some new stuff in the works and if you want to get all of it, make sure you’re not only listening to the podcast but also are on my email list and following me on Instagram or Facebook, whichever you prefer.

To get on my email list, all you have to do is sign up for one of my free offers on the Free Page that I share with you at the end of each episode – coachkir.com/free. You’ll get weekly coaching emails and be notified when I do free trainings or anything else.

To follow me on either Instagram or Facebook, where I’ll be doing more stories and posts and reels, find me at stopbingeeatingcoach.

And I will put all these links in the show notes as well so if you go to coachkir.com/180 you’ll find them all.

So 2022, let’s freakin’ go!

You’re going to stop binge eating, I’m going to help you, and you’re going to create your ideal eating habits.

Which brings us to today’s topic of designing and creating your ideal eating habits.

Those eating habits you want aren’t just going to happen. You’re going to make them happen. One decision at a time and one habit at a time.

Because think about it, it’s not just eating “habit,” it’s plural, there’s more than one habit going into how you’re habitually eating.

That’s one of the reasons why it can be so challenging to have your ideal eating habits. It’s not just one and done.

There’s most likely a few, or several things you want to change about your eating.

So to get started on changing them, list out for yourself, all that you want to change.

Every detail of your eating that you can think of that you want to be different, write it down.

Write what your habits are now, and what you want them to be.

A lot of you say you just want to eat normally, eat like a normal person but, what does that even mean? There is no one way of eating that is normal for everyone. But, there is normal for you. So get as specific as you can about what that means to you and how you want to be eating.

Know where you’re starting and where you want to go.

Consider this like a GPS for your eating.

In order to get going, you gotta plug in the start and end points.

Now, when you’re considering the end point, your ideal eating habits, I’m not talking about weight loss eating. This isn’t how you think you need to be eating to lose weight.

I’m talking about how you want to be eating when you no longer binge, when you’re at your ideal weight, when you’re just living your life not eating for a purpose other than fueling your body and sometimes eating for pleasure.

What do you want that to look like?

Some of you know exactly what that looks like for you. Maybe you’ve even been eating close to it already when you’re not bingeing.

But some of you might be completely lost when you start to think about it.

You’ve bounced around from so many diets and have been listening to other people’s opinions about what they think you should and shouldn’t eat and how often and how much that you’ve lost touch with your own wants and needs.

If that’s you, do not worry. Just because you’ve lost touch doesn’t mean you can’t find it. It’s just like with your hunger and fullness signals. You may have lost touch with them but, you can learn to notice them again.

You can learn about yourself and learn about your wants and needs.

That really is what so much of this binge eating work is about in general. Learning about yourself and your wants and needs.

As you change your relationship with food you begin to see that this all isn’t really about the food. Eating the food is just your way of covering things up, trying to fulfill yourself, trying to feel better, and whatever else you’re using it for.

So one want, one need at a time, you’re going to learn about yourself and what’s best for you and your body.

You’ll start that by just looking at your list of what you don’t like about how you eat and deciding what you would like.

Say you graze throughout the day and you don’t like doing that. What would you like? Maybe it’s 3 meals and 2 snacks. Maybe it’s 3 meals 3 snacks, or no snacks, or 2 meals 2 snacks.

There’s no one right way to eat for everyone so just starting there, what do you think might be the best option for you based on what you do know about yourself.

You’re going to learn more and more about yourself along the way but for now, just start with what you already know and what you’ve already observed about yourself.

Now, for all of you, don’t worry about getting the perfect combination of habits. Don’t worry about creating the perfect way of eating for you. Focusing on that just might stop you from creating anything at all.

I know all about you perfectionists. Don’t get so caught up in creating the perfect eating habits and start worrying that you’re going to make the wrong decisions and then not make any.

Just pick something that seems right, that seems like the best option for you.

Okay? So now you know where you are and where you want to go.

Now like I said, some of you are pretty close to where you want to go already. Your work is in committing to this way of eating and being consistent with it. That’s of course how habits are created, through consistency. It’s not going to become a habit if you’re only doing it sometimes.

But if you are not close to where you want to be, if your habits now are very different from the habits you want to have, I recommend you do not try to jump right into eating in your ideal way.

That’s what so many of you have tried doing in the past with diets or with some way of eating that you just make up in your mind that you think is how you should eat and again, most of this happens with the intention of losing weight.

You want to jump from eating habits that are causing weight gain to a super restrictive weight loss plan that’sso different from how you’ve been eating.

The leap is so big. Too often when we take a big leap, we fall.

It’s like you’re leaping across a river, trying to get over to the other side, but it’s too far and you fall in.

When instead, you could take your time and build a bridge. One piece of wood at a time, you create a path that is going to get you to where you want to go. Yes it may take longer but, it’s more likely that you’ll get to where you want to go.

So between how you’re eating now and how you want to be eating, there might be some bridging steps you’ll take along the way.

If you’ve heard me talk about bridging thoughts, it’s just like that. One thought at a time, one eating habit, one doable change at a time.

And in case you aren’t familiar with bridging thoughts and want to learn about them, check out episode #140.

When you’re bridging the gap between where you are and where you want to go, rather than taking a big leap, it may take longer to build the bridge but, it’s also going to be a lot easier and you’ll probably get more wins than fails doing it this way.

One example I see happen a lot is trying to go from bingeing on sugar multiple times a week to not eating it at all.

That’s a big leap. That’s going to be very challenging. For most people, there’s probably going to be lots of fails.

Now, I get that you might want to eat less sugar, and you will get to where you want to be but, how about if you instead, you cut back just a smidge?

Maybe decide that you’re going to eat sugar as often as you have been but, you’re going to give yourself permission and be more intentional about it, rather than saying you’re not eating any and then disappointing yourself when you give in to your desire to eat some.

I personally think that’s a great place to start and I actually just made a similar recommendation to a few of my group members who are working on something like this.

I know it can be hard to wrap your mind around giving yourself permission for something you don’t ultimately want to be doing but, it just might be the next best step for you.

Now, I’m not saying this is the best way for everyone, you all get to make your own decisions but, if what you’ve tried doing hasn’t worked, maybe it’s time to try a different way. Or, figure out why what you’ve been trying hasn’t been working so you can figure out a way to make it work. And if you can’t figure it out, come coach with me in Stop Binge Eating and I’ll help you get there.

***Small steps are going to create big progress.

What’s the next small step you can take toward the habits you want to have?

It might just be giving yourself permission to eat how you’ve been eating and that’s okay.

You’ll take next step when you feel ready.

You’ll take next steps when you’ve been consistently following the step you last took.

I see people want to jump from one to the next to the next without solidifying the previous steps.

I imagine it’s like you take a step and you’re off balance and before you catch your balance, you step again, and you’re still not balanced but, you step again and eventually you fall.

Catch your balance. Then move on.

Most likely, if you’re in a hurry, it has something to do with your thoughts about your weight.

If your weight wasn’t a factor, would you be in a such a hurry to get to those ideal eating habits?

Probably not.

So if that’s you, go listen to episode #177 about your thoughts about weight gain.

Slow and steady wins the race.

You will get to where you want to be, whatever that looks like for you.

Be patient.

Make one doable decision right now that will help you get there. Repeat it and be consistent.

And when you feel solid and ready, move on to the next.

You’re going to create your ideal eating habits, one decision at a time.

Start by deciding what it is and get to work on it.

Bye bye.