Ep #159: Taking Action to Stop Binge Eating

Hi! What have you done today, besides listen to this podcast, to help you to stop binge eating? If you haven’t done anything else yet, what are you going to do today?

I hope you have an answer that isn’t, “nothing” because change isn’t going to happen without you taking action.

But, the kind of action you take matters so in this episode, I want to talk with you about the two types of action that you need to take and I want you to make sure you have a balance of the two. Because sometimes, you might be a little off balance and wonder why you’re still continuing to binge.

I’ll have people tell me sometimes that they listen to my podcasts all the time and it makes so much sense to them but, they’re still bingeing.

I’ve had group members in my program tell me about all the things they’re doing – watching the videos, doing the writing exercises I suggest, the worksheets I provide, they watch the coaching calls and get coached, and they still binge.

To them, they’re putting a lot of time and energy into their stopping binge eating work.

But the problem they’re not seeing is that they’re mostly, or only taking passive action and not taking massive action.

So let me tell you the difference between the two so you can see if you’re doing the same.

Passive action is when you’re consuming information. What you’re doing right now, listening to this podcast, is passive action. You’re listening and learning.

You’re gathering information.

And that’s what you’re doing when you listen to other people speak on podcasts and in videos and when you’re reading books.

You’re inputting. You’re taking in.

And although this does require effort and focus, it’s not actually creating anything for you.

You’re not actively creating something new for yourself, you’re preparing to.

You’re thinking about doing something before you actually do it.

Now, this is of course useful. Having information before doing something can make doing the thing easier.

It’s like when I had zero idea how to stop binge eating and then I’d try to do it I failed again and again.

But once I learned how, it was easier to succeed.

It may have been the same for you once you started listening to this podcast. That’s what I hear from people often that they’re finally learning how it’s going to happen for them.

But knowing how isn’t enough.

You have to actually do it.

That’s where the massive action comes in.

And I’m not talking about action where you’re just doing it when you feel like it or doing it sometimes but not other times or doing it once.

It’s taking action until your goal is reached.

It’s continuing to do what you’ve learned to do until you get to where you want to be.

So it’s taking action by not giving in to your urges to binge until you feel confident in your ability to not binge and can confidently consider yourself to be binge-free.

And you’re not going to get there only by learning how to not give in to your urges. You have to actually do it.

It’s like reading a book about how to drive versus actually sitting in the driver’s seat and driving.

You’re not actually going to become a driver until you put into action what you’ve learned and practice driving.

The information you’re consuming through passive action is useful but only if you take massive action with the knowledge.

And again, that means you keep going until you reach your goal.

That doesn’t mean quitting if you make a mistake once, a few times, or several times.

It doesn’t matter how many times you fail at not giving in to an urge, you keep going.

And that’s what I see as being the number one reason why people don’t actually take massive action with the knowledge they’ve consumed.

They’re afraid to fail and make mistakes.

They’re afraid of doing it wrong and trying to put it into action and still bingeing.

And it’s because of what they make that mean about themselves.

Now they’re a failure, they’re not capable, they’re a screw up yet again, they’ll never get this right, and then they feel bad about themselves.

They feel inadequate, hopeless, disappointed, and defeated.

So here’s the thing about failing and mistakes. It’s not the actual fail that they’re afraid of. It’s how they’ll feel if they fail.

Imagine if you failed and felt neutral about it and it wasn’t a big deal.

There would be nothing to be afraid of. You would fail, feel neutral, and carry on.

But because you’re making it mean such negative things about yourself, that’s why it feels so bad when it happens.

It’s not the mistake or the failure that causes you to feel bad. The bad feelings come from how you think about yourself when you make a mistake or fail.

So if you want to stop fearing failure, so you can take massive action, stop making it mean anything about you and only make it mean what it really means.

You didn’t meet an expectation. That’s it.

You tried something, it didn’t work out as you expected, and now you’re going to figure out why so you can do better next time.

It really can be that simple.

And the other thing that stops people, which is such a lame excuse by the way, I’m going to call you out on that, is that it’s hard.

Yes, doing new things can be hard. Yes it’s easier to just consume information.

But the easy thing won’t create change. The hard thing will.

So do it.

You have good reasons to and it will be worth the effort you put in.

Don’t stop yourself from doing something that will result in something you want just because it’s hard.

Do the hard thing and risk failing and mistakes.

Doing those over and over is what will eventually result in you not binge eating anymore and finally having a life that binge eating has stopped you from having.

Don’t try once and think it won’t work.

Part of massive action is coming up with solutions.

There is a way. You can figure it out by looking back at what you did and didn’t do and by going through all that you’ve learned with your passive action to come up with a plan moving forward. Or you can get help with figuring it out. That’s what I offer to you all in my Stop Binge Eating Program, help figuring it out. I help you see other possibilities for what you can try next if what you did didn’t work out as you expected.

People give up too quickly sometimes when they’re not seeing all the possibilities.

They know to allow urges without eating to make them go away. They try, they binge, and they think it’s not going to work. They can’t do it.

But hold up! Let’s figure out why it didn’t work.

In my program I give you a 4 step process for allowing urges so if it’s one of my group members, we go through the steps and figure out which one they didn’t do, why they didn’t do it, and find a solution for how they ARE going to do it.

THEN! They may try again and fail. They feel another urge, do what we had talked about, and still give in to the urge.

Now they could just quit then and say it’s not going to work and they’re a loser who can’t do it.

Or! We can assess again and figure out what else they need to be doing.

Not giving in to an urge to binge isn’t typically just a matter of one mindset shift. There’s usually a few, maybe even several, and we’ll uncover all of them one at a time before all the thoughts are in place to allow you to not give in without putting up a fight.

But you gotta be willing to go through that process and that’s the commitment you make by deciding to take massive action.

You don’t just learn, you commit to applying what you learn when the crucial moment is upon you, when you’re feeling that urge to binge.

So when you’re creating a balance of passive and massive action for your stopping binge eating goal, here’s some things that I’d consider to be part of massive action that you can incorporate into your work:

One is that you’re taking what you’ve learned and applying it to yourself. So that could mean you’re strategizing specifically for yourself, for the obstacles that most commonly come up for you or that you know are coming up for you and you’re thinking ahead for how you’re going to handle it. You’re making time to write out a plan for yourself.

You’re making eating decisions. You’re not just asking yourself questions, you’re not allowing yourself to be stuck in indecision, you’re not just thinking about your options, you’re actually deciding what you’re going to eat, how much, and when you’re going to stop. And to add to that, you’re also deciding to stick with your decision and not change your mind.

You’re intentionally thinking thoughts you want to be thinking and are having productive conversations with yourself. So you’re not just reacting to urges, you’re actively thinking through what you want to do and don’t want to do and considering your reasons and results.

You’re allowing yourself to feel uncomfortable urges rather than eating to make them go away. You’re actually going through the discomfort, it’s happening, you’re putting everything you’ve learned into practice.

And if you binge, you’re figuring out what didn’t work and figuring out specially what you’re going to do next time. The more specific the better. Don’t just say you’re going to feel the urge, what are you going to make sure you’re doing so that you will feel the urge.

So what those all are, are you doing, creating, and outputting.

I like to consider passive vs massive action as input vs output. It’s consumption vs creation.

You’re creating new ideas for yourself not just listening to someone else’s. You’re being proactive for yourself and applying to yourself and executing.

And I do want to say that I consider planning to part of massive action but, the period of time between the planning and executing the plan is passive. You’re thinking about following the plan.

It is output and creation for you to put pen to paper and write out what you are going to do based on what you’ve learned. You’re creating something, a plan for yourself.

But then before you do it, you’re just thinking, not actually doing.

So I’d consider strategizing to be part of massive action but then just thinking about it is passive, unless you’re thinking of new ideas and creating new things but, it’s passive until you take action on it.

So make sure you’re creating a balance between passive and massive action.

Make sure you’re taking action that is moving you forward because that’s what’s going to create change for you.

Learning is important but, it doesn’t change anything without action.

So please continue to learn but, don’t stop there.

Do what you’ve learned to do, over and over until you get to your goal so you can start see the results you want to see.

Alright, have a wonderful week, I’ll talk to you next time.

Bye bye.