Ep #25: How to Motivate Yourself

Hey! What’s up? How’s it goin’? How are you feeling? I’m feeling great. Let’s go, let’s do this, let’s talk about motivation.

I think that the times when we feel most motivated to stop bingeing are right after a binge and in the morning.

You think, “I’m never doing that again” or “I won’t binge today,” and you’re feeling pretty motivated to make it happen.

But then the next thing you know, you’re feeling an urge and just don’t have it in you to put in the effort to not binge.

You just stopped caring or don’t feel like doing the work anymore.

Has this ever happened to you where you felt so good, so motivated, you’re eating so well and not bingeing and then all the sudden just lose it?

Where did all your motivation go? Why did you lose it? And how you can find it again?

Motivation isn’t something we just lose. It doesn’t go missing. It’s not waiting to be found.

It’s not something that just have or don’t.

It’s something you’re either creating or not.

The problem a lot of people fall into is indulging in feeling unmotivated. They just feel it and think there’s nothing they can do about it. Maybe they search the internet, look for others to motivate them, read motivational quotes, and nothing works. So they just keep saying they’re not motivated while waiting for motivation to appear.

Now, waiting for it is one way to do it. Maybe one day you will wake up and magically feel motivated and it will last for days or weeks. But what if it doesn’t? Or what if it takes a really long time for that to happen?

So why wait for it to maybe, possibly appear someday when you can make it happen on purpose now?

The first thingy you gotta do, is you have to know why you’re feeling unmotivated to being with.

Are you thinking it’s going to be too hard? That’s it’s too scary? That you’re not going to succeed? That you’re not going to be able to do it? That you just don’t feel like it?

Then yeah, you’re definitely not going to feel motivated if that’s how you’re thinking.

We sit in these thoughts day after day and wonder why we don’t want to put in effort.

We hear ourselves think these thoughts and accept them as true and stop ourselves from doing hard things, doing scary things, and from succeeding.

I’ve been talking with a lot of people recently about their #1 2019 goal and I’ve had a few tell me that they’re just not feeling motivated to do it or their goal just isn’t motivating them and then we figure out it’s because they’re thinking those unmotivating thoughts.

Having an awesome goal isn’t enough if you’re stuck in these kinds of negative thought loops.

Goals themselves aren’t motivating. Wanting to be healthy, to stop binge eating, or to lose weight is great, but it’s what you think about working towards them that’s going to determine whether you take action on it or not.

It’s not always enough to just think about wanting something. And this is good to know because I also hear people wonder whether maybe they don’t want something badly enough if they’re not getting it.

Look at it this way. I want 1 million dollars. I want it real bad! Does that mean I’m going to get it? Unlikely if i’m just sitting here thinking about how much I want it.

But what if I thought, “I’m going to make 1 million dollars.” Notice the difference? Saying I’m going to make it is much more determined and empowering than just desiring to have it. Desire may inspire day dreaming about the money while determination and empowerment will drive me to actually take action towards getting it.

You want to stop binge eating real badly. You really do. But how do you feel when you think about wanting it? Do feel motivated? Probably not. If you’ve got all those negative thoughts swirling around your head while you’re thinking about wanting to stop binge eating at the same time that might even lead you to feeling a little hopeless. I want to stop binge eating but I just don’t feel like putting in the effort or, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do it. Ugh, so not motivating. So not going to move you forward.

But what if you were thinking that you want to stop binge eating and you’re going to do whatever it takes, that you’re willing to feel uncomfortable, that you’re going to succeed no matter how long it takes.

Whoa. That sounds real good!

Feeling motivated is having a willingness and determination to do things that aren’t super fun in order to achieve the goal you want to achieve. Going against what you’ve programmed your brain to do over the years isn’t easy or fun. Don’t expect it to be. But even when you don’t feel like it, you’re going to do it anyway. Even when you don’t want to, you’re going to do it anyway.

Why? Because you have a compelling reason to do it, you have a motive, and you’re willing to do it and determined to do it.

So what’s your motive? And don’t focus on what you don’t want, focus on what you do want. What’s the number one reason why you want to stop binge eating? What will be better in your life?

Why are you going to do the hard things?

Then you have to create the willingness and determination to do it.

It might also be helpful for you to break down your big goal into small goals.

Stopping binge eating is a big goal. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to create an entire podcast series about it!

So pick one piece to work on at a time. It’s so much easier to feel motivated to do a small thing than a big thing simply because it seems much more doable.

So what do you want to work on right now? Planning your eating? Following through on your commitment to plans? Allowing urges? Being aware of your thinking?

Everyday, think about your small goal, think about why you’re going for it, and think a thought that will create willingness or determination for you.

This combination is what will bring you the motivation you’re looking for you.

So you can stop waiting for it and stop looking to other people to give it to you. You don’t need them.

All that happens when other people supposedly motivate you is that they say something and you then believe it for yourself. They say “You can do it” and you think, “You’re right, I can!” Or they say, “Let’s go!” and you say, “Okay!” But again, you don’t have to wait around for someone else to say you can or that it’s time. You can just say it now. You are a person who is willing to put in effort, time, and practice to get what you want no matter what.

If you want to feel motivated, you gotta shift your mindset to think about why you’re doing it and what you’re going to do to make it happen. You have to create willingness and determination with your thinking and when you do, you’ll get going and the motivation will come along with it.

You’re doing this. It’s happening. Let’s go!

You’re just one decision away from building that motivation or letting it fade away. Every thought you choose matters. Choose the ones that will work for you. Have a great week, bye bye!