Ep #374: When You Have to Start All Over

Hello! Tomorrow, October 1st of 2025, registration for The Stop Binge Eating Group Coaching Program will be opening.

If you have been considering doing it, but have been too afraid because you think you won’t be successful, please know that you are not alone. I have worked with so many people who felt the same way before signing up. They let round after round go by and at some point, they decided that it was worth a try. And then, they wished they had done it sooner.

I totally understand the fear of failing. I’ve been there myself. But, if you’ve been trying on your own and haven’t made the progress you’ve wanted to make, then maybe getting help is what you need. And maybe this program is the help you need.

Sometimes we gotta take a chance, and do something we feel a little scared to do. Because sometimes, that scary thing pays off, big time.

There’s been so many things I’ve felt scared to do and then was so happy I did them. This could be that thing for you.

So if you’re ready to say “yes” to getting help, and say “yes” to yourself, come work with me.

Go to coachkir.com/group to register, or if you’re on that page before registration opens, join the waitlist so you can get emailed as soon as it opens. And if you have any questions that aren’t answered on that page, just email them to info@coachkir.com.

What if this is exactly what you’ve been needing? There’s only one way to find out. Give it a try.

Alright, now let’s get on to today’s topic – when you have to start over.

Let’s say you’ve been working on stopping binge eating for awhile. And, you actually feel like you’re making progress. You’re feeling better, you’re feeling a little more confident, are trusting yourself a little more, and you’re bingeing less.

But then, you binge. Maybe you binge multiple times.

And now, you have to start all over.

So you feel discouraged and frustrated. You put in all that work, made all that progress, and now you’re back at the beginning, back at square one.

But here’s the thing.

You’re not.

You’re not back at the beginning, not back at square one, and you’re not starting all over.

You actually can’t start all over and go back to the beginning.

Because, you have more experience than you had at the beginning. You have more knowledge than you had.

And now that you have it, you can’t get rid of it. It’s here to stay.

You have not lost everything you’ve worked on, you still have it. That can’t get taken away.

Your progress is not undone, it might just be paused.

And you haven’t gotten worse, you’re just having a tough time. Sometimes tough times are part of the process.

So if you binge, even if you have days of binges, even if the frequency of your binges increase, you’re not back at the beginning.

You are just where you are in the process of stopping binge eating.

Sometimes we think that the process is supposed to look like a steady decrease in binges but, that’s not always how it goes. For a lot of people, they will go through a period of what looks like regression. But you don’t have to look at it that way.

You could simply see it as a time that is highlighting what you need to work on.

What happens for some people is that as they go through this process, they stop focusing on certain things that they need to be focusing on. Maybe they think they don’t need to anymore, or they forget, so the binges begin to increase.

If this happens, they don’t then need to start over.

Instead, they just need to get back to the basics.

Whatever had been helping them before, and what had worked for them before, they need to start doing again.

They will decrease the binges, it will happen, and they’ll do it by doing those things.

Now, if you are in this place and you don’t know what to do, then just work with the basics you started with before. You can even go back to the early episodes of this podcast, or any episodes you have saved, and re-listen to remind yourself.

Again, this is starting over, it’s just revisiting, refreshing, and using those foundational tools.

It’s like if you’re getting on a bike after not having ridden in decades. You’re not starting over, you have too much skill within you to start over, so you’re just refreshing yourself on how to ride a bike.

Now, I want to share a tip with you to help you to know what to do if this happens with your eating. This is something you can do anytime you’re doing well and it’s advice I give to everyone when they’re doing well. So this is something you’re going to do before you ever get to that place where you think you need to start over.

Get really clear with yourself about why you’re doing well when you’re doing well. You’re not “just doing well.” You’re doing something, or some things, that are creating the result of you doing well. What are you doing? What’s creating it?

When you know what you’re doing that’s creating success for you, then you know what to keep doing to keep creating success.

Some examples might be that you’re giving yourself 100%, unconditional permission to eat what you want to eat.

Or you’re allowing yourself to feel discomfort.

Or you’re being kind and supportive with yourself.

Or you’re intentionally believing in yourself.

Or you’re making time for self-care and pleasure every day.

Take note of what you’re doing and what is helping you so you know what to do to keep making progress and so that if you find yourself bingeing more, you know what to do more of. You know what to get back to doing.

So, that could be one thing that’s going on, you’re just not doing what you were doing before and you gotta get back to it. You’re not starting over, just getting back to what works and what helps.

But something else that could be going on could be that you’re facing new circumstances that you just haven’t faced yet.

Maybe this is the first time you’ve felt intense emotions since you’ve been seriously doing this work and since you’ve been doing well.

Maybe this is the first time you’ve been around a lot of foods that you’ve previously binged on many times.

Maybe this is first time you’ve been alone for an extended period of time.

Maybe this is the first time you’ve traveled.

You haven’t had a chance to do this work in those particular circumstances yet, so this is new for you. You’ve been challenged in a way you haven’t before.

And sometimes, we don’t do as well the first time, or the first few times, and that’s okay. Like I said before, this is part of the process for you. You’re not starting over, you’re learning something new and building new skills, that’s it.

And you’re going to make sure you actually take a lesson with you. That’s so important.

With any of these circumstances or reasons why your bingeing increased, you have to learn something.

Don’t just try to forget about it.

Reflect on it, figure out which of the foundational tools or concepts or skills you need to put more time and focus into.

So many people don’t do that, so they keep repeating the same mistakes again and again and don’t make the progress they could.

Don’t be that person. Use every binge, every binge increase, as an opportunity to grow and do better. Take something useful away from it.

Don’t beat yourself up about it, don’t get down on yourself, get curious about it and encourage yourself to work on whatever it is you need to work on.

And if you feel like you keep taking the same lesson away again and again, then it’s likely that there is another lesson that you’re missing.

This is something I help my group members see when we’re coaching in my program. If they just keep trying the same things and aren’t seeing progress, I show them that there is something else they need to be doing that they’re not seeing, what it is, and how they can work on it. Then when they do see it and work on it, more progress is made, binges decrease, and they have another tool in their toolbox.

So, if your binges increase, you do not need to start over. You just need to get back to basics, back to the foundational work, and back to working on what was working for you before. Or, you need to learn something new if you’ve encountered a new circumstance.

When you’re not seeing it as starting over but as part of the process, it can feel less discouraging and frustrating.

You don’t get down on yourself, you get to work. You keep going so you can make more progress and continue moving through the process.

What you think the process will look like for you might not be how it ends up looking. There might be more slip ups, binges, and hard times than you expected. And it doesn’t have to mean that anything’s gone wrong, this is just what your unique process looks like. So be open to accepting what it does look like for you.

And get help if you feel like you’re not progressing or if you don’t know what to do.

If you want my help, come join me in the Stop Binge Eating Program. Coachkir.com/group. Again, registration is opening for this next round tomorrow, October 1st of 2025.

But regardless, please remember that you cannot start over if you’ve gained knowledge, skills, and experience since the beginning. You can get back to the basics and foundations but, you can never go back to the beginning.

Alright, that’s all for today, I’ll talk to you next time. Bye bye!