Ep #359: How To Feel Better Emotionally Without Eating Food

Hello! In just one month, on July 16th of 2025, registration will open for the next round of The Stop Binge Eating Program.

Although joining at any time of the year will have it’s benefits, one of the main benefits of joining at this time is that you’ll still be in the program through what is considered to be the holiday season for most people. You’ll be improving your eating, thinking about food less, and feeling better as you go into Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, and anything else you’re celebrating and then, you’ll be able to get help as you go through them as well.

You can make this holiday season different from, and better than the others, end the year on a high note, and rather than starting fresh as the new year begins, you’ll just be continuing to progress.

I know that right now, the holidays seem like they’re so far away but, it’s helpful to consider what you want to be doing and how you want to be then and get started with becoming the person you want to be now, so you’re much more practiced when it comes.

But regardless of what’s coming months from now, consider what you want now. Do you want to keep doing what you’re doing? Or do something different?

This program can help you to do something different, up level yourself, and likely make progress faster than you would on your own. It can be so much easier to get to where you want to be when you have help vs when you do it on your own.

So if you want more, if you want to be further along, if you want to stop binge eating sooner, then come work with me in the program.

You can get all the info about the program by going to coachkir.com/group and on that page, you can also join the waitlist, which I highly recommend you do. I’m going to be offering two time-sensitive bonuses, and the waitlist will be the first to know about them so get on that waitlist so you don’t miss out.

And if you have any questions that aren’t answered on that webpage, you can email them to info@coachkir.com.

Alright, now let’s talk about feeling better without eating.

For many people, their binge eating stems from a desire to feel better.

When they feel uncomfortable emotions, they want to feel better so badly, and they want it quickly, and they think eating is the way to do that.

And what can happen is that the more intense their emotions are, the higher quantity they desire to eat. And, they think the longer they eat, the longer they get to feel good so they keep eating to keep feeling good.

And as you know, the more you eat, the worse you’ll feel afterward.

But in that moment, when they’re feeling the uncomfortable emotion, they might not care about how they’ll feel later, or they just ignore it because their desire to feel better is so strong.

They care way more about feeling good now than how they’ll feel later. And because later isn’t happening now, they might try to convince themselves that they won’t feel that bad, or they’ll feel fine.

So their eating is stemming from a desire to feel better, now.

Now, I totally get it. When you’re uncomfortable, you don’t want to feel uncomfortable.

But, if you are also someone who wants to feel better now, and are wanting it so badly that you are willing to risk feeling worse afterward, I want to ask you this.

Why are you in such a hurry?

For most people, they choose eating food because it’s what they know to do, and I’ll talk about that in a moment but they also choose it because it’s fast.

Some of you do know a different way to feel better but, you’re not willing to choose something different because it will take longer or will take more effort.

So ask yourself that question I just asked, “Why are you in such a hurry?”

Why are you so eager to get out of the discomfort?

Maybe it’s because you think it won’t stop so there’s no point in waiting.

Maybe you don’t feel safe in the discomfort or you think it’s not okay to feel how you’re feeling.

Maybe you’re afraid of what might happen if you don’t get out of it ASAP.

A lot of the time there is fear about what will happen if you keep feeling how you’re feeling.

People think it will get more intense or it won’t ever stop.

But really, it’s when you keep pushing it down and avoiding it that it gets more intense and keeps resurfacing so essentially, it then never stops coming back.

And however you’re feeling, it’s okay to feel that way. Your feelings are valid, your feelings aren’t going to harm you, they are just sensations in your body, and you will be okay. You are still a good person no matter what feelings you feel.

So you might be in a hurry to stop feeling uncomfortable because what you think about that discomfort causes you to feel scared or panicked, so you feel driven to get out quickly.

Another reason why people are in a hurry is simply because they just don’t want to wait.

There isn’t any scary reason, they just don’t want to.

And if that’s the case for you, explore why you do want to.

Explore why you do want to take your time to feel better rather than rushing into eating.

I bet you have some really good reasons.

And if you’re not sure, I’ll share some.

Taking your time and working toward feeling better without eating food will be more productive.

You’ll feel better for real, not just temporarily, and you won’t then feel worse afterward.

You’ll feel better in general, both emotionally and physically.

You’ll actually resolve your feelings so they don’t keep coming back for the same reason over and over.

The benefits of taking your time are likely benefits you want and if you rush into eating as soon as you feel discomfort, you’re going to miss out.

So, the first thing, be willing to take your time rather than rushing because when you are, you’ll have more options available to you. You’ll be willing to do something that might take longer or require a little more effort. And the things that will actually help you feel better, will require a little more time and effort.

So then, you’ll need to have other options.

If eating food has been your go-to for years, and you don’t even know what else to do, then of course you’re going to go to food. You’ll think that eating for temporary better feelings is better than not feeling better at all.

But those aren’t your only options.

Now, you might be aware of some other options. You might have some activities that you know will help you feel better like doing your favorite hobby or moving your body, walking, exercising, dancing, or doing a sport, or spending time with someone you enjoy spending time with or watching a move or tv show.

And those are great and can help, so do them if they help but, they might not always be useful or might not always be an available option.

So it’s good to have other options that can be done on your own, in most circumstances, and without a ton of effort.

It could be focused deep breathing, stretching your body, journaling, meditation, tapping, going outside, laying down in silence or with music, sending someone a text to connect or make plans, something along those lines.

But, which will work for you depends on how you’re feeling and how you want to feel.

It’s important that you don’t just rush into doing one of those things without taking a moment to understand how you’re feeling and what you want.

Because, if you’re feeling stressed and want to feel relaxed, there might be a different best option than if you’re feeling lonely and are wanting to feel connected or if you’re feeling bored and want to feel entertained.

So it’s good to have more than one option because if you only have one and it’s not working, there needs to be something else.

Now, here’s the most important part.

You’re willing to take it slower, you’ve found something to do to help you feel better, but then, what you’re thinking is going to be the most important piece.

If you’re getting impatient, if you’re thinking it’s taking you too long to feel better, if you’re complaining to yourself about how uncomfortable you feel, or if you keep thinking about whatever it was that caused you to feel uncomfortable in the first place, you’re not going to feel better.

The reason why you feel how you feel in the first place is because of your thoughts.

Your thoughts cause your emotions so if you keep thinking the same thoughts that caused the discomfort, you’ll keep feeling the same feelings, you won’t feel better.

And if you keep thinking negatively about the discomfort, you’re going to keep feeling negatively.

So if you want to feel better, you need to think in a way that will help you to feel better.

That means you’re being accepting of the uncomfortable emotion, you’re being accepting of the amount of time that you feel it, and you’re telling yourself things like, “I’m okay,” “I’ll be okay,” “This will pass,” “This is temporary,” and “This is just how I’m feeling now.” You can already begin to feel better just by being accepting and encouraging with yourself as you feel that uncomfortable emotion.

But then, you also need to work on the thoughts that caused you to feel the uncomfortable emotion in the first place.

You’re feeling stressed not because of all the things you have going on or things you have to do but, because of how you’re thinking about them. Someone else could have your exact same circumstances and not feel as stressed as you because they’re thinking about them differently.

You’re feeling lonely not because you’re alone but because of what you’re thinking about being alone. This is why sometimes you might feel content when you’re alone and sometimes you might feel lonely.

So if you want to feel better, your thinking needs to change, and you can change it, you can change your perspective.

And when you do, your feelings will be resolved and you will feel better.

A change in perspective will change how you feel. That’s how you truly feel better.

You understand what you’re thinking now and why, you acknowledge the effect it’s having on you, and you explore other ways of looking at your circumstances, at what happened, or the future.

I actually did an episode about changing your thought, it’s number 266 titled “How to change your thoughts” if you want a more detailed explanation for how to change your thoughts.

But essentially, you’re taking the time to work on the cause of your emotions rather than just ignoring them or pushing them away.

So now, you’re going to combine it all together.

You’re going to be willing to take your time, do something that will help that won’t result in you feeling worse afterward, and work on changing what you’re thinking that caused you to feel the emotion.

There’s always another way to think about it. And to be clear, the other way might not be super positive, or positive at all, it might just be neutral or less negative but, it’s still better than before.

The goal isn’t always to feel positive. Better can just mean neutral, and that’s a great goal to have sometimes.

It’s like when I’m working with people on their body image. Being positive isn’t always realistic but, being neutral is, and that’s better than negative.

Or with bingeing. You don’t have to feel happy about having just binged but, you can be more neutral about it, having compassion for yourself, forgiving yourself, encouraging yourself, and getting curious about why it happened so you can learn something from it. That’s going to be a whole lot better than feeling ashamed, guilty, despair, or hopeless.

So, you can feel emotionally better without eating one bite of food.

Eating food isn’t the only way.

There are much better ways.

So be willing to engage in those other ways and be willing to take your time working on your thoughts so you can truly feel better.

Alright, that’s all for today and real quick, don’t forget to join the waitlist for Stop Binge Eating. Registration will be opening in one month, on July 16th of 2025 and you’re going to want to get that notification once it does so you can get those time-sensitive bonuses. Go to coachkir.com/group to get on it.

Alright that’s all for today, bye bye.