Ep # 364: If You’re Sick of Doing This Work

Hi! Before we get started, I just want to give you a head’s up that registration for The Stop Binge Eating Program will be closing this Thursday, July 24th of 2025 at 12pm ET.

If you want to do it, but you’re feeling a little afraid to do it because you’re afraid you will fail, I want you to know that feeling that way is normal.

I’ve had many people feel that way before signing up, and after signing up because they’ve been trying for so long without success.

But, it’s so important to first, not let your fear stop you, and two, to look back at your previous fails and understand why you weren’t successful.

Because, the problem isn’t that you’re not capable or that there’s something wrong with you. It could actually be that what you were trying was never going to work because it didn’t actually address the cause of your binge eating. So many people have told me they tried a bunch of different diets or food rules to stop binge eating and those are not the way, so of course it didn’t work.

It could also be that you didn’t have the support you needed. When you lose motivation or start doubting yourself, or when you don’t know what to do next, or you can’t see what you’re doing wrong or what you can do differently, you need to have someone there to help you.

And I can help you.

This program isn’t just about learning how to stop binge eating, it’s also about actually staying committed to the entire process until you’ve achieved your goal.

I will help you to stay committed.

So, if you’ve failed many times in the past, this time could be different because you’re doing something different and are getting different support. Or maybe you’ve never really had support because you’ve just been doing it on your own so it could be different simply because you’re getting support.

So if you want that, if you want something different, if you want support, if you want help staying committed, if you want guidance through the process, then join the program.

You can register by going to coachkir.com/group and on that page, there is a lot of info about the program but if you have any questions that aren’t answered there, email them to info@coachkir.com.

And remember, registration is closing in two days, on July 24th of 2025 at 12pm ET so if you don’t want to wait any longer to stop binge eating, then don’t wait.

Let’s do something different together.

Alright, now let’s talk about those times when you’re sick of doing this work.

You don’t want to do it anymore.

Now, right from the start I want to say that if you don’t want to do it, you can stop. You can take a break. You’re allowed to do that. You can just turn off this podcast, unsubscribe, and not think about stopping binge eating anymore.

But, if you do that, you’ll need to make sure that when you do decide to get back to it, that you don’t keep doing the same things that caused you to get sick of doing the work in the first place. Something needs to change. And that’s what I’m talking with you about today.

So either take a break and listen later or, listen now to start changing now.

And if taking break is not at all what you want to do, because you do want to stop binge eating and you don’t want to put it off, but are conflicted because you’re sick of working on it, then keep on listening.

Because, there’s a reason why you’re sick of doing it and it’s not just because of how much time or effort is required.

It’s likely because of one of two reasons.

It’s either because you’re overwhelming or stressing yourself by trying to do too much at once.

Or, because you’re not making progress.

We’ll start with the overwhelm and stress.

When there’s a lot about our eating and ourselves that we want to change, it makes sense that we’d want to change all those things as soon as possible.

We want to change them all now. We don’t want to wait to change any of them. They’re all important to us.

And they totally are.

But, when we start expecting ourselves to work on changing 10 habits at once, we’re expecting a lot from ourselves. Too much actually.

Changing even one habit is going to use up extra energy and time. For many of us, with busy lives and obligations and jobs and relationships and families, all we really have the capacity for is one new thing.

We might have the capacity for more than one, depending on what it is and what our life looks like at the moment but, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed by what you’re working on, then you’re trying to do too much.

And you don’t have to.

Sometimes we think that if we do more, we’ll progress faster.

But most of the time, when we do more, we get overwhelmed, stressed, and eventually burnt out. Then we get sick of being overwhelmed and stressed.

So it’s not even that you’re sick of doing the work, it’s that you’re sick of feeling overwhelmed or stressed by it.

So if this is why you’re sick of it, dial it back.

Doing too much at once is likely going to ultimately result in you not really accomplishing any change. That stress, overwhelm, and burnout leads you to quit, to take a break for awhile. And if when you get back to it, you keep doing too much, that cycle will keep happening and change will take so much longer than if you just worked on one thing at a time, if the change even happens at all.

You’d be so much better off working on one goal at a time, or whatever amount feels doable to you, and actually sticking with it until you feel like it’s changed, and then moving on to the next until they’re all complete.

I know that it might not seem like you’re doing enough but, you are. Something is enough. And something is better than too much that leads to nothing.

So if you’re sick of doing this work because it causes you stress and overwhelm, do less. It’s not the work that’s causing you to get sick of it, it’s the way you’re doing it. It’s the amount you’re trying to do. So instead, do the bare minimum. Do what’s doable. Do what’s not going to be overwhelming or stressful.

Then there’s the other reason I want to talk about – you’re not making progress.

I’d say that this reason is that causes most people to get sick of doing the work.

It’s not really that you’re just sick of doing the work, you’re sick of doing it and not seeing changes.

When you’re putting in work and aren’t progressing, aren’t changing, then it makes sense that you’d get sick of doing it.

No one wants to put in work and not see results. It’s really frustrating.

But, when you are seeing progress, when you are noticing changes, you feel some excitement, you believe in the process, you have momentum and motivation, you don’t get sick of it. You’re into it.

So if you want to feel motivated, content, even feel excitement or delight in doing the work, then you’ll need to figure out why you’re not progressing so you can work on what’s been stopping you from progressing.

Is it because you’re trying to do too much at once like I talked about before?

Is it because you keep trying to do the same things over and over again, that aren’t working, expecting them to all of the sudden work? That was something that happened to me often because I had no idea what else to do, and I thought what I was doing should be working, so I kept doing the same things. I had no idea why what I was doing wasn’t working. I was just lacking so much knowledge.

Is it because you keep quitting on yourself? Maybe you binge and then get frustrated with yourself or feel hopeless and you tell yourself you’ll never be able to stop anyway so you stop trying until a few days or weeks later you get back some belief in yourself and think you can do this. If you keep quitting, even little quits, you’re not going to progress.

Is it because you’re learning a lot but aren’t actually applying what you learn? When it comes time to do something differently, you forget to do it, or you don’t feel like doing it, so you don’t, and nothing changes. You say you’ll do it next time but when the next time comes, you don’t.

Or you’re applying it but, not enough. You’re doing it sometimes but not consistently enough. Consistency is what creates change, what makes things more natural and easier. Half-assing it won’t.

Is it because you’re working on things but aren’t seeing them all the way through? Maybe you start working on some component of stopping binge eating but then don’t see progress fast enough so you switch to something else. If you don’t see it through, and do it for long enough, you won’t achieve change. Sometimes change takes longer than you think it should. What if you switch gears when you were just about to have a breakthrough or right before it got easier? If you want to change it up, keep going a little longer before you do.

When you can see why you’re not progressing, then you know what to work on, or what you need help with.

If you’re not making progress, something needs to change.

You don’t need to take a break, you need to figure this out.

You need a new method or better support, like I talked about at the start of the episode. Or you need an outside perspective that can see and show you what you’re doing wrong. Or you need to stay committed to the process and committed to what you’re working on, and keep believing in yourself, even when it gets hard, even when you don’t feel like it, even when you binge, even when changes aren’t happening fast.

You can make more progress. It’s possible for you. But first, you need to uncover what is stopping you.

Because when you know your obstacle, you can work on overcoming it in a way that will address that obstacle.

And you’ll need to overcome it to make progress.

And when you start seeing progress, you’ll feel better about doing the work. Even if you don’t feel excited, but just feel neutral about it, it’s still better than being sick of it.

Now, I do want to tack on a bonus reason that’s related to the whole progress thing.

Some of you get sick of doing the work not because you aren’t making progress but because you think you’re not making progress.

So many times I’ve had people tell me they’re not making progress but then when I challenge them to find ways they are making progress, they see that they actually are.

This happens often when people think that what determines their progress is weight loss.

But it’s not.

I’ve lost weight without making any real progress with my bingeing. I was somehow just able to decrease the bingeing for that period of time but eventually, the bingeing came back, just as it was before, because I never really worked on it properly. I never made real progress with stopping binge eating. I was likely just white-knuckling.

That weight loss didn’t prove anything about my progress with stopping binge eating.

Also, what happens for most people is that they don’t lose weight as they’re progressing with stopping binge eating. Some might even gain some weight.

Because although the bingeing has decreased, they’re still overeating, and that’s okay. They’ll work on that, but at first, that’s not the main focus.

So, if you’re only looking at your weight to determine if you’re progressing with stopping binge eating, you’re doing yourself a huge disservice.

There are so many other ways to determine whether or not you’re making progress. I actually did a whole episode about it if you want to give it a listen. It’s number 113.

When you can see the ways that you are making progress, you’ll feel more motivated to keep going. You won’t be so sick of doing the work because it’s actually making a difference.

So take an honest look at the ways you have changed, or are changing.

Are you more aware of your thoughts or feelings or of what you’re doing?

Are you pausing and thinking through your eating decisions more?

Are you eating more of the foods that you used to not allow yourself to eat?

Are you feeling uncomfortable emotions more than you used to?

Are you incorporating more joy and pleasure in your life that isn’t revolved around food?

Are you not giving in to your urges immediately?

Have the frequency or intensity of your binges decreased?

Are you being kinder to yourself if you binge?

Are you thinking about food less?

Any of those are progress. And those aren’t the only progress markers, there can be so many more.

And when you acknowledge what you’ve done, what you’ve changed, what you’re doing less of, what you’re doing more of, what is becoming easier, then you will see that change is happening.

So look for it.

Alright, so, if you’re sick of doing the work, either do less or change what you’re doing. And of course, if you actually are making progress, acknowledge that because it matters. It can help you feel better about both yourself and the process.

Again, you can take a break if you want to but, I highly recommend you don’t. Work on what’s not working instead.

And, as I said in the beginning, if you want my help with any of this, and anything else binge eating related, you can get it in The Stop Binge Eating Program where you can work with me directly and get personalized help.

This can be the new method and the support that you need.

Go to coachkir.com/group to register and don’t wait because registration for this round will be closing on Thursday July 24th at 12pm ET.

Alright, that’s all for today, I will talk to you again soon. Bye bye.