Ep #340: Practicing Being Your Future-Self

Hello! Today I’m talking with you about practicing being your future-self.

You all have an idea of what it will be like when you stop binge eating. Basically, what your future-self will be like and what they will experience.

You think about what you’ll be letting go of, what won’t be happening anymore, how you’ll feel, what you’ll think, what you won’t be thinking, and what you’ll do.

And what I recommend you do with all of that is to actually write it down.

Actually put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and get the words on paper or your computer or your phone.

Get clear and specific about what it is that you’re expecting for your future, binge-free self.

And the reason why I want you to know what it is and to write it down, is because you’re not just going to wait for it to happen, you’re going to start making it happen right now. Today.

Sometimes people think that a better life, better feelings, better thinking, better eating, and a better relationship with their body, with their emotions, and with food will just happen once they’re not bingeing anymore.

But, it’s really the other way around.

You stop binge eating when you have created better feelings and a better life, when you are thinking better, and when you have created a better relationship with your body, with your emotions, and with food.

You make those things happen and then the result is stopping binge eating, not the other way around.

So you’re not going to wait for better, you’re going to create better.

You’re going to take action instead of waiting for things to “just change.”

And you’re going to start practicing being your future-self now.

What you want to be habit and more natural in the future, you’re going to start practicing now.

And what you’re going to practice is mostly not going to be actions but, your thoughts.

You’re not going to just “do.” That’s what so many people focus on and try to do. They just try to change their behavior. They just try to eat differently. They just try to eat less.

And it doesn’t work long-term. Maybe for a few days or a little bit but it doesn’t create lasting change.

And it’s because they haven’t changed their thoughts that are behind their actions.

You might try really hard to stop eating but you keep thinking about how you need to eat more or you want just one more or you’re thinking that you can’t stop.

If you keep thinking this way, it’s going to be really hard for you to stop eating.

You might try really hard to keep joy foods in your home but you keep thinking that they’re bad, or you shouldn’t eat them, or that you’ll binge if you eat them.

If you keep thinking this way, it’s going to be really hard for you to have them in your home.

For every new behavior you want to have, there is a thought, or multiple thoughts that need to change in order for you to more easily change the behavior.

So that’s where your focus needs to be.

New thinking is what you’re going to practice.

You’re going to practice thinking like your future-self.

And as you practice thinking differently, you will feel differently and you will behave differently.

That’s how it works. Your thoughts cause your feelings and your feelings drive your actions. Your feelings and actions are going to be preceded by a thought.

So if you don’t change your thinking, your feelings and actions won’t change.

If you’ve had a hard time changing how you behave, how you act, what you do, it’s because you haven’t changed the thoughts that need to change.

So when I say that you’re going to practice being your future-self, you’re going to practice being them in your mind. You’re going to practice thinking like them.

So, what will your future-self be thinking?

Maybe you have some ideas.

But if you don’t, you can think about what you want your future-self to be doing and ask yourself, “What would they be thinking that would make it easy for them to act that way?”

You can think about what you want your future-self to be feeling and ask yourself, “What would they be thinking that would make them feel that way?”

Whatever it is you want, what do you think you would need to be thinking to have it?

That’s what you’re going to practice.

Now, for most of you, with most of the thoughts you want to be thinking, you might have a hard time believing them. You might have a hard time believing whatever it is that your future-self will be believing. And if that’s the case, you’re not going to try and fake it till you make it. You’re not going to try and BS yourself.

Because when you don’t believe what you’re telling yourself, you’re not going to create the emotion you’re wanting to create and therefore won’t have the emotion you need to drive your desired action.

Those feelings you want to feel will only be generated if you are believing the thought that is supposed to create the feeling. If you don’t believe it, then you won’t feel it.

And if you aren’t feeling the feelings you need to feel to effortlessly drive the behaviors you want, then you’ll be trying to force yourself and use tons of willpower and it won’t be sustainable.

So if you don’t right now believe whatever it is that you imagine your future-self will be thinking, then I suggest you do two things.

One, ask yourself why you don’t believe it and what do you believe.

See what’s mentally blocking you.

When you do, you can work on it and overcome it.

For example, if you want to believe that you can eat whatever you want to eat in moderation and stop anytime you want to, but your brain then says, “no you can’t,” question that.

Question yourself anytime you’re thinking that you can’t do something.

Why can’t you?

Your answer to that question is going to show you what your present-self thinks. It’s going to show you what’s blocking you from being your future-self that you want to be. And this is such useful information.

Because once you know, you can work on changing it.

Now, I totally understand that changing your thinking and what you believe is not an easy thing to do, and that’s why I offer my help in The Stop Binge Eating Program. It’s the main thing we do in there.

But you can try to do it on your own, and make progress with it on your own, and I actually did an episode on changing your thoughts, #266 if you want help with doing it.

So that’s the first thing I suggest you do, is to question why you don’t believe whatever it is that you’re wanting to believe. And get specific about your answer. Don’t just say, “because I can’t.” Why do you think you can’t?

And the other thing I suggest you do if you don’t right now believe whatever it is that you imagine your future-self will be thinking is to find what you do believe.

So maybe you don’t believe you can eat whatever you want to eat in moderation and stop anytime you want to. But, in relation to that, what do you believe you can do?

Acknowledge an ability you do believe you have and start there.

You don’t necessarily need to be thinking exactly like your future-self in this current moment to get the benefits. You can think a little bit like your future-self.

What is something that you both believe? Your present-self and your future-self? Find something that you maybe haven’t been acknowledging about your present-self.

Sometimes we tend to ignore the helpful stuff that we believe and focus a lot on the negative, unuseful, self-defeating things that we believe.

Think more about the helpful stuff. It matters and the other stuff doesn’t cancel it out. It still exists and is true even if the other stuff exists too.

So, what you’re going to do is to write down the thoughts that you think your future, binge-free self will be thinking, the thoughts that will be causing them to feel how they feel and act how they do.

And you’re going to practice telling yourself whichever thoughts you believe now, you’re going to question why you don’t believe the ones you don’t believe and work on changing your belief, and you’re going to practice what both your present and future selves believe.

Start becoming your future-self now.

Start thinking like them now, in whatever capacity is truthful to you now.

And whatever doesn’t feel truthful, you’re going to work on changing.

You are going to become a person who thinks differently and that is what will make you feel and act differently.

You don’t have to wait for it to happen, and you’re not going to wait. You’re going to make it happen.

Starting today.

Alright, that’s all for today, bye bye.