Ep #183: Awareness and Decisions After, During, and Before

Hello! When this episode is released, you will be one month into 2022. How are you feeling about the progress you’ve made with your binge eating? Is it going well? Not so well? Are you feeling proud? Are you feeling frustrated?

If you’re doing well, awesome! Keep doing whatever it is that you’ve been doing.

If you’re not, I want you to consider working with me in my upcoming Stop Binge Eating Program.

Registration for the next round will be opening on March 10^th of 2022 and it’s going to be a great opportunity for you to get my direct help instead of trying to do it on your own.

I know how frustrating it can be to know what to do but not know how to do it. Or to not understand why you can’t just get yourself to do it or to do it consistently. Through coaching, I can help you understand why you’re not doing it and what changes you can make to get yourself to actually do it. When it becomes clear to you why you’re doing what you’re doing, it’s so much easier to make the necessary changes.

If you want to get to the root of your specific eating challenges with my help and guidance, mark your calendar for March 10^th and go to coachkir.com/group to get all the info about the program. If you have any questions, email info@coachkir.com to get them answered.

If this first month hasn’t been what you hoped it would be, you can make the next months different. Let’s do it together.

What I want to talk with you about on today’s episode is something I hope will bring you some relief and ease any frustration you feel about your progress.

Because you might be progressing exactly as you should be.

I’m guessing that for all of you, the goal is to not binge. You want to catch yourself when you’re feeling an urge, not give in to it, and not binge.

That will happen for you. But, it most liken’t won’t happen right away.

Having awareness of your urge and making the decision to not give in to your urge isn’t where most people start in this process.

The awareness and decision making usually begins after a binge has happened.

There is a progression of awareness and effective decision making that starts at the end of a binge and moves to the beginning.

The starting point for most people is taking the time to be aware of what just happened, acknowledging the binge, going through the series of events that happened from pre-binge and through the binge, figuring out what didn’t work and what they could do differently, and strategizing for next time.

This is progress if you haven’t regularly been doing this work. Most of the time, you might binge and try to forget. You might binge and then beat yourself up for it.

Neither of those are helpful. Neither of those help you progress.

What is helpful and what will help you progress is deciding to learn from the binge. It’s being aware of what happened and deciding to break it down and learn from it and strategize for the future.

In the beginning, this is where most of your work will be. Your work will start after a binge.

Then, as you practice being more aware of yourself, your awareness and effective decisions will come sooner.

You’ll start to become more aware as you’re eating.

You’ll be in the middle of a binge, become aware of what you’re doing, and decide to stop. You’ll bring into your conscious awareness all that you learned at the end of your previous binges and you’ll decide to put what you learned into action.

Some of you have already had this experience and it can be so amazing to watch yourself stop before you feel way too full, to catch yourself in what you’re doing and decide to stop before it gets worse.

Bringing yourself to awareness in the middle of a binge is something that can help you recognize the control that you have over what you do and don’t eat. You’re proving to yourself that you’re not out of control, even when you’re in a binge.

You can make the decision to stop at any time and you will start making that decision sooner and sooner.

Until you’re having awareness and making decisions that will stop you from having a binge altogether.

You’re aware you’re feeling the urge. You’re deciding to feel it instead of eat.

That’s the ultimate point of awareness and effective decision making, when you’re aware that you are urging for a binge and decide you’re not doing it. And you follow through on that decision.

That is how you can expect your awareness and decision making to progress, from end to beginning. From after to before.

This is normal progression so nothing has gone wrong if this is how it’s going for you.

Now, this isn’t linear. It’s not like you spend a certain amount of time doing your work after binges and then you progress to the next level where you’re doing it in the middle and so on.

It’s going to be all over the place. There are going to be some times when you’re learning and strategizing after binges and then you stop yourself in the middle of one, and then you have some more full binges and then you prevent a binge by not giving in to an urge, then you stop in the middle of a binge, then you full on binge.

You’re going to jump around the parts of the progression but, you can expect that in the beginning, you’re mostly going to binge, be aware, and decide to learn from it and strategize. Then, you’re mostly going to stop in the middle but may still have some full binges. Then, you’re mostly going to not start a binge at all but may still stop in the middle or have a full binge.

So do not get frustrated if you’re not able to fully stop yourself when you feel an urge. All this means is that you’re in the part of your progress where you’re becoming aware and making effective decisions after a binge.

All parts of the progression are useful and helpful to you.

Awareness after a binge is great because you’re going to take that awareness and learn from it. The decisions you’re going to make after will help you to do better next time and to do better in this moment. You’re going to decide to be kind, compassionate, and encouraging with yourself. You’re going to stay present instead of ignoring what happens.

Awareness during a binge is great because it shows that you are not unable to be present. It shows that zoning out and checking out are optional. The decision to stop that you’re making when you are aware of what you’re doing shows you that you’re in control and can stop. You can make the decision to stop before it gets worse. You can be rational even in the midst of all the eating.

Awareness before a binge is obviously great because then you can make the decision to not binge.

Awareness is a choice. You can choose it at any time. And then, you can choose to decide effectively in order to not binge, in order to not continue to binge, or in order to do something differently the next time you’re feeling an urge.

Any point in this progression from awareness from after to before, is an opportunity for you to learn something. Decide to be aware of what there is to learn. Decide to learn it.

Over time, watch yourself stop yourself from eating sooner and sooner.

Having awareness and making effective decisions after binges for awhile is normal. But, don’t give up on applying the plans and strategies that you’re coming up with after binges. You’re going to learn so much about what is and isn’t working for you, what needs to be tweaked, what you need more work on, there’s so much to learn after a binge.

Be aware of it, on purpose, and decide how you’re going to be in the future.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t perfectly do what you planned every time, that’s not how it’s supposed to be.

There may be several times that you don’t do what you’d planned over and over.

This is just an opportunity for you to figure out why you’re not doing it. When the time comes to do it, what are you thinking? Are you forgetting? And what can you do to ensure that you do what you’d planned to do?

You have more learning to do and that’s okay. This is where you’re at in the process.

Where ever you are is a great place to be aware of what you’re doing and not doing, and decide what you’re going to do that will help you to not binge.

Alright, you have a wonderful week being at where ever you are with your awareness and effective decision progression.

Bye bye.