Ep #174: Getting Over the Hump

Hello! Let’s jump right in and talk about getting over the hump.

And what I mean by that is getting over the hard part before it gets easier.

With binge eating, it’s allowing and working through an urge even when it’s hard for you to do it so that you can get good at it and then it gets easier for you to do it.

A common problem I see for people is that they learn so much, have so much intellectual understanding, they get it, they know what they need to do, and when the moment comes for them to put it into action, they stop in their tracks.

It’s like they’re standing at the bottom of this incline, looking up at it and they decide, “Not today,” or “Not now.”

In their mind, it’s too high, it’s gonna be too hard, they don’t feel like it, or they just can’t.

So they give up.

They don’t even try.

And then all this knowledge they have just goes to waste.

If the knowledge isn’t being used and applied, then what’s the point of even having it?

So many of you have so much knowledge, especially if you’ve listened to all my podcast episodes up until this point, or even just a lot of them.

And I don’t want you to stop yourself from applying that knowledge just because there is a challenge ahead of you or what I’m talking about in this episode, a hump.

What that looks like here, because obviously there’s not a literally hump, is that there is something challenging that you’re facing, something you haven’t done before or haven’t done many times.

And it’s something that is going to take energy and effort.

It’s also might be something that you haven’t experienced the outcome of yet.

You may not know how long it will take for you to get over the hump, to where it’s not challenging any more and it gets easier.

So you only have the idea of how that’s going to go in your mind. And you might not be picturing a positive experience.

You’re at the bottom of the hump, you’re on the flat ground looking up at the incline, and you don’t know what’s on the other side, how long it will take you to get to the top, and how long you’ll be at the top before you get to go down.

But you need to decide that you’re going to start trekking up that hump no matter what.

It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to get to the top or how long you’re walking across the top, you’re going up.

And you’re also going to tell yourself that what’s on the other side of the hump is going to be amazing.

It’s going to be something better than you’d experience if you gave up on going over and just sat at the bottom eating food.

Every time you feel an urge, you’re somewhere on that hump or you’re standing at the bottom.

If you’re at the bottom, it’s because you haven’t made any attempt at allowing an urge consistently in a long time, or ever.

And this is going to be the most challenging part of the hump.

It’s going to take the most energy and here’s why.

What you’re doing, is going against a habit.

You’re in the habit of running away.

That’s what’s easy and comfortable for you.

So if you’re not going to do that, it’s going to take mental effort.

Your brain is going to tell you to run, go get the food.

It’s going to tell you that it doesn’t matter, you can do it tomorrow, or you just don’t have it in you.

Basically, the thoughts that are going to come in to your brain are not going to be aligned with what you really want to be doing.

You’re feeling desire for what you don’t want to feel desire for.

So the effort that you’re going to be putting in is you intentionally thinking about what you really want.

What you really want is to feel through the urge and not eat.

You might want to tell me that’s not what you want, you don’t want to feel the urge but, what’s the other option?

The other option is to eat to make it go away.

Or distract yourself but that doesn’t always work.

So if you want to not binge, your best option is to feel your urge all the way through.

If you’ve never done this before, or haven’t done it consistently for a period of time, it’s going to take effort. Probably more than future urges.

This is the point when you’re on the ground, at the start of the hump.

This is not supposed to be easy.

A lot of you expect it to be easy once you’ve gained all the knowledge but most of the time, that’s not the case.

That first urge, it’s probably going to be the most challenging to get through.

And for several urges after that, it will probably be challenging too.

But you can’t give up. Because each urge you go through gets you closer to the top of the hump.

So does that mean that each urge you don’t get through brings you back down?

No, it doesn’t. I’d say, each one you give in to keeps you where you are. You’re just not practicing not giving in to urges. You’re not losing anything, you’re just not building the skill of not giving in.

Instead of taking a step up, you’re just staying where you are.

Now, if you stay where you are for awhile you might lose some momentum which may make it harder for you to get back to going up.

So it’s going to be easier for you if you just keep going.

With each urge you don’t give in to, you move forward, you allow yourself to feel it without eating, and you get closer and closer to the top.

Then once you get there, you start to notice it’s getting easier. It may not be super easy but, it’s easier than when you were at the bottom.

Then after you make it through the flat top at the top of the hump, you get closer to the decline.

And the decline, that’s where you want to be.

You know the term, it’s all downhill from here. Well, that’s the case here.

There comes a time when it get easier. You feel an urge to binge and it’s not a whole production to get you through it.

There’s not a lot of thought work that goes into it. And it doesn’t take very long for the urge to pass.

It’s there, you handle it, it passes.

That’s a place you can get to.

But, the only way that you will is if you go through the incline first.

If you want it to be easy, you have to go through the hard first.

So don’t let the hard stop you.

When you’re faced with that first urge, the most challenging one, don’t run away from it.

Don’t put off conquering it until next time.

It’s not going to be any easier next time. You’re going to be in the exact same place with the same skill level as you have today.

Sure maybe circumstances or your emotions may be different but, an urge is an urge.

Expect the first ones to be hard. Expect that you’ll have to put in effort. Expect that it’s not going to come naturally just because you’ve learned so much.

Learning and doing are two different things.

And I do want to say that this is not just something that only goes for binge urges.

It’s for any habit that you’ve created.

The first few times you overcome your habit are going to be a challenge.

You’re going to put in conscious thought and mental effort.

Do not stop yourself from moving forward because you don’t want to put in the thought or effort.

And I want to let you know that I called it a hump for a reason. I considered hill and mountain but, getting over the hill just reminded me of getting old, you know how people say you’re over the hill so I didn’t want to say that and I didn’t want to use mountain because I didn’t want you to imagine this huge thing.

It’s not a mountain. It’s a hump.

Now, I can’t tell you how high your hump will be or how long you’ll be on there but just know, you will eventually get to the decline.

You will get there and it will get easier.

Believe you can get to the top.

And never forget why you’re doing it.

If you’re going to put in all that effort to climb up, you better have a good reason.

And I know you do.

Think about it often. Don’t let yourself forget.

The first urges on the hump are going to be the hardest but I promise you they will get easier.

Be consistent and keep moving forward and you’ll get over the hump.

I’ll talk to you again soon, bye bye.