I’m a big believer in planning so I encourage my group members to plan ahead as often as they can. But sometimes, things happen and your following your plan isn’t going to happen. Someone invites you somewhere, your food went bad, you ran out of time and can’t go to the store or cook, so now what?
In this episode, I’m giving you two strategies you can use when things like this happen. Going off your plan doesn’t mean a binge or overeating is inevitable. Listen in to find out what you can do to make sure that doesn’t happen.
How are you? You ready for another episode? Me too.
But first, two things.
One, The Stop Binge Eating Program is open for registration! I’m so excited for this because of something I’ve been doing behind the scenes. One of the main parts of this program is the videos and worksheets I give you every month that teach you everything you need to know, in a structure that I’ve found to be the best course of action to overcome binge eating, and the worksheets help you dig deep. And I’ve revised and re-recorded all of the videos and revised all the worksheets to make sure they’re the best yet based on all the coaching I’ve done in my groups and after seeing what needs to be added for everyone to get what they cam for. I can’t wait to share them with you when you join!
All the info for the next group, starting April 7th can be found at coachkir.com/group.
The second thing I wanted to talk about real quick is a mistake I made recently on this podcast. In episode #132, I personally found it very amusing that I learned and used a new word. However, I was informed that I pronounced it incorrectly after someone left me a review on Apple Podcasts. By the way, have you written me a review if you listen on Apple Podcasts? If not, get on it! It helps other people find me and get help too. Anyway, I said, “tertiary” and I’ve since learned it’s pronounced “ter-shi-ary.” My apologies to anyone who was bothered by that. Next time I learn a new word I will definitely make sure I check the pronunciation.
Alright, so, it’s “tertiary” and The Stop Binge Eating Program is open.
Now, when eating plans change.
Do you ever make a plan for how you’re going to eat, and it’s exactly what you want to be eating, and then, something happens?
Your plan changes because your circumstances changed. Someone invites you out last minute. Or things ran late and now you don’t have time to go to the grocery store or to cook what you planned because then you’ll be late for the next thing. Or your food went bad. Or you forgot to buy something.
So many different instances when your eating plan might change because a circumstance was unexpected or changed.
I think this has happened to all of us at one time or another because life isn’t perfect.
People don’t always follow our plans that we make for ourselves. They have their own plans and their own wants.
And life doesn’t always run as smoothly as we’d like. Things happen. Circumstances happen even when we do our best to stay on track with our time or when we do our best to be prepared.
Our plans for ourselves can change minutes before, hours, and even days.
And this isn’t a problem. Until you make it into one.
It’s when you make it into a big deal and freak out that it becomes a problem.
You start thinking all kinds of thoughts about what this will do to you.
You’re going to binge.
You’re going to overeat.
You’re going to gain weight.
You’ve been doing well and this is going to ruin everything.
So much time gets spent worrying and what does that accomplish?
Nothing, worry accomplishes nothing.
If anything, that worry may cause you to overeat or binge before that meal and maybe even during or after too if eating is your solution for calming yourself down.
So, in your worrying about overeating or bingeing you end up overeating or bingeing. You end up doing exactly what you feared either at the meal you feared or before or after.
When your plans change, when something changes, when an option for a meal that’s unhealthier than what you planned is now presented to you, when for whatever reason you’re no longer going to eat what you planned because of your circumstances, freaking out and worrying isn’t going to help you in any way.
Catastrophizing what’s going to happen isn’t helping you.
On top of all that worrying, you may also just give up.
You can’t follow what you planned so screw it. You’ll just get back on plan tomorrow.
You decide the plan is ruined and feel defeated.
So you just eat whatever sounds good, you pick the thing you never get that you never allow yourself to have, you eat seconds, you throw all your good intentions out the window.
If that’s something you do it’s because you’re stuck in all or nothing thinking.
It’s either on plan and healthy or completely off plan and unhealthy.
Those are your two options.
It’s either eat your plan and not binge, not overeat, not gain weight or, eat off plan and binge, overeat, or gain weight.
Is that it? Are those your only two options?
I’m going to say no, they’re not.
I know this because I choose different options quite often when this kind of thing happens to me.
I’m going to share two two things you can do, other than just giving up, that I think will be most helpful to you in almost any situation.
The first one is that you make a similar plan to what you had planned already.
Don’t throw your entire plan out the window because you’re not going to be eating that exact thing anymore. If you can, get something similar.
If I’m planning to have a meal with chicken, vegetables, rice, marinara sauce, and cheese, and then I’m all the sudden invited out to eat, I’m going to find something similar on the menu.
Or if I don’t have time to go home and cook what I planned, I have go-to quick places that I can find something that’s similar to my plan.
Or if I’m home, I have back ups if the food I wanted has gone bad or again, I have my go-to back up options if I’m going to order something.
I’m going to find a suitable replacement, something that’s close to what I planned, and most places have something even if I have to substitute or modify. And trust me people, as a former restaurant server, people do it all the time and most of the time, unless you’re being ridiculous, and you’re probably not by the way, it’s not a big deal and can be done. It never hurts to ask.
Now, that’s a pretty simple way to handle a situation when you have options and can find one that’s similar to your plan.
But what about when there’s only one food option?
Not long ago, my boyfriend and I had planned a nice, healthy, Sunday meal and we bought everything we needed for it. But then, we were invited over to our friends’ home. We typically eat on the early side, around 4:30 or 5 usually depending on our hunger and we were most likely going to be at our friends’ house during that time. So we decided to just play it by ear. If our friends wanted to order out or make us dinner we’d do that and if not, we’d go home and have our planned meal. I personally was hoping that if we ate there that my options would be what I consider to be healthy but knowing them, I had a feeling they wouldn’t be.
So while we were there, one of our friends said he wanted to order pizza. His fiance was down, my boyfriend was down, he loves pizza, and I was hungry and didn’t want to leave to go home and eat so I said yes too. I could have suggested something different, I could have inquired about whether the place he wanted to order from had salads or entrees or something but I chose not to and chose to be okay with having pizza.
I didn’t make a big deal about it. It was pizza. I like pizza. I hadn’t had it in a while and it wasn’t going to ruin my life. It wasn’t going to lead me into overeating or a binge because I wasn’t going to make it mean anything bad. I didn’t freak out about what that pizza would do to me. I didn’t freak out about switching from a healthy meal we had planned to have at home to an unhealthy one. I didn’t tell myself this was the last time I’d be eating pizza for awhile so I’d then shove in as much as I could either.
I just make a new plan. Once pizza was decided on by everyone, I decided my own personal plan for how much I was going to eat.
It was simple. I planned to eat two slices. I’d then assess my fullness. If I had to, I’d give it a few minutes to let the food settle. The pizza wasn’t going to go anywhere and I didn’t have to rush into a third piece. But 3 pieces, that was my ultimate limit I was setting for myself.
That was it. There was no drama, just a new plan. My plan was to satisfy my physical hunger with this food everyone wanted to eat. And don’t get me wrong, I wanted it too. It just wasn’t my first choice.
I didn’t just say my day was blown, and put no thought into what I was eating, and just eat until all the pizza was gone or until I felt way too full.
I did the best I could with the option I chose.
I chose to do what everyone else was doing, I made a plan for myself, I stayed relaxed, and I enjoyed the crap out of that pizza. And, the best part, I wasn’t too full when I was done. I also wasn’t regretful when I was done.
I didn’t go off the rails because one meal was different than what I originally planned.
That’s definitely the opposite of what I want.
When your plans change, what you ultimately want for yourself can, and does stay the same.
The long-term goal does not change so now you have to find a new way to get there.
It’s like you’re driving to your destination and there’s a road that’s closed for construction. The goal doesn’t change, you’re still going toward your destination, but the way you get there is going to be a little different.
My goal was to be full and feel good and I still did that even though I ate pizza.
You can not binge and not overeat even when you don’t eat exactly what you planned.
Now, please don’t confuse what I’m saying to mean it’s totally fine to change your eating plans all the time. That’s not what this is about. This is about when life takes a turn and how you handle it. If you’re going to just go off your plan all the time then why make one at all, right? If you’re going to plan, do your best to follow that plan. But when things happen, make a new one ASAP.
You can make a new plan similar to your original one and you can make a new plan that will best align with your goal given your new circumstances.
And if worst case scenario, your circumstances stop you from eating anything at all or now the only option is food you don’t like or can’t eat because you have serious dietary restrictions, you can be hungry. It will be okay. Hunger is not an emergency and you can feel the discomfort until you can get something else. Freaking out about hunger isn’t helpful either. It’s just going to make your experience of it worse.
Hunger is okay, making a new plan when circumstances change is okay. It’s all okay. You’re going to be okay.
Breathe, and figure out the next step. And most importantly, don’t forget what your ultimate goal is. Don’t lose sight of where you’re going. That goal is an important piece of your decision making.
Just because your plan isn’t happening doesn’t mean that some parts of the plan can’t happen. You can keep some foods similar and your can definitely keep your mindset the same. The food may change but your thoughts don’t have to.
You’re just one decision away from getting closer to or further from your goal. Do the best you can to keep moving forward.
And don’t forget to register for the Stop Binge Eating Program! It’s new and improved and better than ever. There’s never been a better time to stop binge eating than now. Go to coachkir.com/group to sign up and you’ll get the first lesson in your inbox immediately after signing up. And then we’ll officially begin on April 7th. Do it now before you forget. The deadline to join is Frida March 26th at 10am ET.
Let’s do this together.
Alright, have a great week. Bye bye.