For a long time I didn’t think I could be trusted around food, mostly junk food of course. I couldn’t trust myself to not overindulge, to stop eating it when I was full, or to not eat if I wasn’t physically hungry. If it was there, I’d eat it.
I hear people say this often – “I can’t be trusted around (insert tempting food here).” I used to say it too. But if you keep telling yourself this, and you keep repeating it over and over, you’re just perpetuating the lack of trust in yourself.
The thing is, being able to trust yourself around food is a choice. You can choose to trust or not and constantly telling yourself you can’t isn’t going to help.
You not being able to be trusted around food is not a fact, it’s an opinion….one that you’ve probably created a lot of evidence for. So it may be difficult for you to believe that you can be trusted. But you can believe whatever you want and you can build that trust.
To do that, start with baby steps.
If you can choose to not eat even one food in one moment, you’ve proven you can be trusted. Repeat this again and again and you strengthen that proof. Over time, the trust will build up and you’ll believe it.
It’s no different from trusting another person. If you want to trust someone, how can you build trust? By looking for evidence that they follow through on whatever it is you want to see them do. If you genuinely want to trust someone, you can if you focus on those moments that will build trust rather than the moments they make mistakes. Over time you’ll put together those little bits of proof and compile them to prove to yourself you can trust them.
Flip it around too. What if someone doesn’t trust you? What would you do to show them you’re trustworthy? You’d work to make sure you repeatedly follow through with what you say you’re going to do.
Trust is all about proving you will do what you say you’re going to do, like not eating when you say you’re not going to. If you commit to proving to yourself that you’re capable of saying no to food, that trust will grow and your belief that you’re trustworthy will strengthen.
All it takes is doing it one time start changing that belief.
You show yourself that you can do it, that you can be trusted and you don’t ALWAYS, 100% of the time give in.
I know for me, I would never binge around other people, even if I felt the urge to do it. I’d wait until I got home later. Not binge eating in that moment when I felt the urge was proof I could say no.
A lot of the time we don’t think of it as a win in those moments when we say no while around other people, but it is. You’re saying no, regardless of the reason. Don’t let those small victories pass you by and be forgotten. Those are the ones you need to remember to collect the proof you’re looking for that you can trust yourself to say no.
In the end, remember that you decide if you can be trusted around food or not. Thinking you can or can’t will each bring you a different outcome so choose wisely which one you want to tell yourself.