Ep #240: Resetting and Centering Yourself

Hi! In today’s episode I’m talking about resetting and centering yourself.

There always comes a time when we’re going to need to do this.

We can’t be focused on our goals, on stopping binge eating 100% of the time.

We aren’t going to be in the mindset that we want to be in all of the time.

Intense emotions are going to happen that will take us out of rational and future focused and goal oriented thinking.

We are going to make mistakes, or at least we are going to start moving in the direction toward mistakes.

And when any of these things happen, we need to reset and center ourselves.

I like to think about it like this.

When you’re feeling good, when you’re doing good, when you’re doing the things you want to be doing, are thinking the thoughts you want to be thinking, when everything seems aligned with your goals, you’re centered.

You’re in the sweet spot, right where you want to be.

And what’s going to happen inevitably is that you are going to move away from center.

This usually happens for most people all throughout their day and it’s because we have a lot of other things to focus on.

Like I said, you can’t be 100% focused on stopping binge eating and on your compelling reasons why you want to do it and focusing on what you’re working on to do it.

Your focus needs to shift so you can also take care of other things in your life.

And along with that shift in focus is going to come a shift in feelings and sometimes those feelings are going to be intense and sometimes they’re going to drive you to do things that go against your goal of stopping binge eating.

You’re not in that sweet, centered spot anymore. You’ve moved away toward something else.

And for a lot of people, when that happens, they completely forget about their goals and what they’re working on or they do remember them but feel so far away from where they need to be mentally and emotionally that they say, “screw it, I’ll get back to it tomorrow.”

This is because for most of us, in the morning, we naturally are back in that center spot after resetting over night.

It’s not this way for all people all of the time but, most people will say that in the morning, they don’t desire bingeing, have the best of intentions for themselves, are thinking about what they want and why they want it and are feeling motivated and encouraged.

We experience this so much that it makes sense that we’d consider tomorrow morning to be a great time to start fresh and get back to the mindset and emotions we want to be in.

And not only does it makes sense but, it’s easy.

All you have to do is sleep.

And another thing people like about waiting until tomorrow is it gives them an excuse to put in zero effort to eat how they truly want to be eating and instead just eat whatever foods come into their mind.

So it’s basically: I can stop trying now, I’ll reset overnight, and tomorrow I’ll wake up feeling centered.

Now, this is of course an option you are welcome to choose.

But it’s not an option you have to choose.

You don’t have to give up if you’ve gone far from center.

And also, a lot of the time, you can be proactive in helping yourself to not get too far from center.

You can reset and center yourself at pretty much any time. Or at least get yourself closer to center than you are, if not all the way there.

You don’t have to wait until tomorrow, or Monday, or whenever the easy reset is for you.

You can take a moment and do it right now, or whenever you need it.

But before you do, you have to recognize that you’re going off-center.

One reason why people get so far off that they just give up is because they’re not paying attention to themselves.

It’s like when people in relationships become extremely disconnected. How did they get there? One main reason could be because they weren’t checking in with each other and bringing their relationship back to center. They just kept allowing it to move farther and farther away.

A lot of people do that with themselves too. They aren’t checking in to notice any issues with their thoughts or feelings and therefore don’t take the time to address them and work through them.

So the thoughts continue, and the feelings continue, and the thoughts they want to be thinking and feelings they want to be feeling begin to seem so out of reach or are forgotten.

So if you’re going to not get too far off-center, and if you’re going to reset yourself and center yourself and get your head back in the game, you have to notice that you’re moving away.

Or, something else you can do if you’re someone who has spent little time checking in with or paying attention to yourself for a long time, is you can schedule time to do it throughout your day.

And not just in the morning, throughout the day.

Like I said, we’re all over the place with our focus during the day and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

And it won’t be if we take a moment for ourselves and to do something that will bring us back to center and to what’s important.

So how do you reset and center yourself?

Different people have different ways they like to do it and you’re going to find what works for you, what you like, and you’re going to find more than one way because what you like the most might not always be a realistic option.

For example, I love going for walks for like 45 mins to an hour. Maybe I’m listening to music, maybe I’m not, but it’s a great way for me to be with myself, to relax, to calm myself, and to work through things in my mind.

I also love journaling. I find it to be so helpful to write about whatever it is that’s swirling in my mind or write about how I’m feeling and work through it on paper.

However, both of those usually take awhile for me. Sometimes the writing doesn’t but a lot of the time it does if I have a lot going on in my mind or am stuck on something.

So if I’m in the middle of a workday and I have a coaching call coming up or if I’m not working and I have to be somewhere soon, those aren’t going to be realistic.

But what I could do, which I also love doing, is just sit or lay on the floor, with my eyes closed, breathing.

I don’t have do it for an hour, or even 30 minutes. Even if I just do it for 5 minutes it can help.

I have a group member who I was talking about this with who said she thinks laying down for 2 minutes would be super beneficial for her. So she’s giving it a shot.

It may not bring us all the way back to center and where we want to be but we can be closer than we were before we did it.

But what about if you’re not somewhere where you can do that? What if you’re at someone’s house or just somewhere that going for a walk, journaling, laying or sitting down alone, or whatever it is that are your ideas for you to reset isn’t realistic?

If that’s the case, you can do one of my favorite tricks. Go to the bathroom. You can be in there for a few minutes, all alone, without anyone questioning you.

Just be with yourself, focusing on you.

And I know you mom’s out there might want to tell me that none of those will work with your kids, and that there is no way for you to get any time alone where you can reset and center. Your kids won’t even let you pee in peace.

And I get it. But know that if you can even take 30 seconds to close your eyes and focus on your breathing, that can help.

Again, it’s better than nothing.

No matter what your circumstances, you can do your best to power down and power back up, even if only for a short time.

Even one focused deep breath can help.

Especially if you repeat it as often as you can.

And then when you do have time for more, do more.

You don’t have to wait until tomorrow for the easy reset and centering.

You can do it intentionally throughout your day whenever you notice you could use it.

We all get off-center and unfocused on what’s important to us during the day sometimes.

Center yourself and reset on purpose.

Find something you enjoy doing that helps you to focus on you, that helps you to calm your nervous system, that helps you to bring your thoughts back to how you want to be thinking.

Try out what I said I do or try other things that you have tried for yourself or try new things.

But just make sure you’re trying and not deciding that you’re too far gone and that waiting for tomorrow is the only or best option.

It’s not. Even if you can’t get all the way back to center, do your best to get closer than you are.

Every little bit helps.

Alright, that’s all for today and I’ll talk to you next time. Bye bye!