Ep #209: Becoming Yourself

Hello! This Thursday, if you’re hearing this the week it’s released, I’m doing a free training that you must attend.

I’m going to be sharing three secrets you need to know to stop binge eating and when I say you need to know them, you really do.

Especially if you’ve been binge eating for a long time, and are feeling defeated because of how many times you’ve tried to stop without having long-term success, and if you’re not exactly sure what the most important things are that you need to be doing to stop binge eating, or, if you do know but don’t know how to do them.

I’m going to be sharing step by step processes for how you’re going to stop binge eating, how you’re going to stop binge eating after all this time, and how you can eat Joy Foods without bingeing on them.

It will be packed with tons of helpful tips and tools and the goal is for you to walk away being clear about what you’re going to do and how you’ll be successful with stopping binge eating.

I’ll be doing the training this Thursday, August 4^th at 6pm ET and if you want to attend live with me, register at coachkir.com/training.

But if you’re not able to make it live, I will be recording it and the recording will be available for one week. If you want to access the recording of the training and get it emailed to you as soon as it’s posted, you’ll also need to be registered so go ahead and do that right now so you don’t forget. coachkir.com/training.

Alright, now that you’ve taken care of that, let’s talk about you becoming you.

When people are binge eating, when they’re overeating, when they’re doing these things that aren’t what they want to be doing, they’re not being their most authentic, truest self.

But some people, sometimes, think they are when they’re feeling defeated as they try and fail over and over and then just assume that this is just how they are.

There were so many times in my binge eating years that I thought that way.

I’d literally think, “This is just who I am now.”

I was a person who binge eats. This was who I’d become. Sometimes I believed that this was me now.

But sometimes I believed the opposite.

I’d think, “This isn’t me.”

I’d reject this version as being who I am and fight for the version of me that I knew I truly was.

And it was that belief that would keep me looking for a solution and would keep me open to finding a way to become me, the real, authentic, true me.

And now that I’ve stopped binge eating and my relationship with food and myself is the healthiest it’s ever been, which does not by any means mean perfect, I think there’s always room for improvement and I will continue to work on that probably for the rest of my life but, now that I’m here, I believe I’m the most myself that I’ve ever been.

And it’s because I’m allowing myself to be myself, most of the time.

When you’re binge eating, and doing the things that lead you to binge eat, you’re not allowing yourself to be yourself.

You’re hiding yourself, escaping yourself, ignoring yourself, lying to yourself, manipulating yourself, or trying to be someone you’re not.

Think about the things you do that lead you to binge. Overly restricting your eating, numbing or avoiding your feelings, escaping yourself and your thoughts, these are all examples of you not being willing to be who you are.

You’re not allowing your body to be how it is, you’re not allowing yourself to be a human who feels feelings or who thinks thoughts.

Instead, you’re trying to change and not in a truly beneficial, long-term focused sustainable way of changing, which will usually take longer to achieve but, in a fast, maybe even desperate way that creates a short-lived change.

And in doing that, you are not being your true self, you’re being not only a person that you don’t want to be but, a person that you’re not.

That’s why you get so frustrated time and time again when you keep doing these things.

It’s not what you want to be doing and one reason why you do it is because you’re not allowing yourself to be yourself, the you that you are now.

If you take away the overly restrictive thoughts and behaviors, and took away the emotional eating and the eating to escape, you’d be left with you, as you truly are now.

And for some of you, that’s not what you want.

You want to be someone else. You’re not happy with the you that you are.

And that’s why you do all those things.

But here’s the thing.

If you don’t learn to be who you are, then you’ll never become who you want to be.

If you want to become who you want to be, first, you have to reveal who you are now, face who you are now, and understand who you are now.

Otherwise, you’re going to keep taking desperate attempts, or at least unhelpful attempts at change and eat to cover yourself up, and who you are will stay exactly the same. Change won’t happen.

Now, I know it can be scary to let those unhelpful things go, even though you can see them as being unhelpful.

You might be afraid of what you find when you experience yourself as you are. It might feel crappy.

And I get that you don’t want to feel afraid or feel crappy.

But what if doing that meant you would be setting yourself up to feel better than you have been in a long time, maybe ever?

In one of the worksheets in my Stop Binge Eating Course within my program, there’s a question that asks, “Are you willing to feel worse before you feel better?”

This is because a lot of the time, that’s how it’s going to go because you’re going to stop covering up your thoughts and feelings to feel better and instead, experience them so you can work through them, which probably won’t feel good.

Especially in the beginning when you’re doing this and binge eating still for a period of time, there may be a lot of “worse” going on than “better.”

But as time goes on, and you allow yourself to be yourself more and more, you’ll begin to feel better and the bingeing will decrease as a result.

And you’ll become the you that you want to be.

And also know that this you in the future is not the old you.

People say that often, they want to be like they were.

But you will never be the old you again.

You’re going to be a new you, a better you, the best you.

You’ll have similar qualities to that old you but, you’ll have grown into a version of yourself that you’ve never been before.

So if you want to become that version of you, be willing to be who you are now, without covering it up or trying to change very quickly.

Allow yourself to be yourself, flaws and all.

All the thoughts, all the feelings, allow them to happen and get curious about them instead trying to push them away with food anytime they make you feel uncomfortable or bad.

Allow yourself to be the imperfect human that you are with all the feelings and thoughts that humans have and with a human body that is how it is right now.

And know that who you are now, is good. Who you are now is enough.

Who you are now is lovable, worthy, and deserving.

Give yourself an opportunity to see this and to see yourself and to be yourself by not trying to escape, avoid or ignore by eating food and without spending your valuable time thinking about how you can change yourself as fast as possible.

Because when you allow yourself to be yourself, you get to live an authentic, honest life.

And that’s the easiest life.

Just being ourselves takes way less energy than trying to be someone else.

The amount of energy that goes into figuring out another new diet, figuring out how you’re going to overly restrict yourself, how you’ll stop feeling how you’re feeling right now, how to get away from yourself, trying to change yourself ASAP, it’s just too much.

When you relax into being you, you free up so much of your energy and you just get to be.

No hiding, no escaping, no manipulating.

Feel the feelings you feel.

Face the thoughts you think.

Be in the body you have now.

Be yourself now.

Become yourself now so you can continue becoming yourself, and new versions of yourself that get even better and better.

It’s gonna be awesome.

And before I go, don’t forget about the awesome training I’m doing this Thursday August 4^th at 6pm ET.

Register at coachkir.com/training and join me to learn things that will help you become yourself.

Bye bye.