Ep #207: Enjoying the Process

Hi! How is it going? It’s going good over here. I am enjoying my summer, having lots of fun and lots of chill times and as for the work part, I am gettin’ things done with the newest version of The Stop Binge Eating Group Coaching Program.

Right now I’m recording all the videos for the course within the program, some revised from previous versions, some brand spankin’ new, and all are exactly what you need to stop binge eating.

It’s so funny to me that this is the third round of videos I’ve done for the program and every time I’m like, “these couldn’t be any better. This course is amazing.” Yet, I keep making them better! It’s awesome and I’m so excited for the members of my next round to get them and learn from them.

I’m also changing how the course within the program is presented. So before, I used to drip it out monthly so you’d get new videos and worksheets each month and now, you’re getting all of it as soon as you register. So this will allow you to skip ahead to modules you think are most relevant to you and I can also suggest you check out some later ones if we see it would be beneficial for you earlier on. Or you can of course just go in the order I present it and to help you with overwhelm of having all the modules, I’ll give you suggested weekly recommendations for what to do that will take you through the course at a moderate pace. I’ll break the course down into weekly bits that will be doable for you to do in a week’s time.

And, I’ve also changed the duration of the program, which I believe will have many benefits and I changed the pricing.

So much new stuff going on I can’t even handle it. I’m so excited about it.

And one more thing, if you are someone who has previously gone through one of my group coaching programs, I have something new for you up my sleeve, which you should have received an email about but if you haven’t, email me and I’ll get you all the info. And if you worked with me one on one way back when, you can email me too to get info about this brand new offering I have.

So, to get all the info about the next round of The Stop Binge Eating Program go to coachkir.com/group and registration will be opening on Thursday August 4^th.

So many lives are going to change! I can’t wait.

Now speaking of change, you’re probably well aware that changing is a process.

Most changes don’t happen over night, and that for sure includes stopping binge eating and changing your relationship with food.

It’s a process, one that involves learning, applying what you learn, making mistakes, learning from them, trying again, learning more, applying what you learn, and so on and so on.

And that process is going to look different for everyone. People will have similarities, probably a lot, I see it happen in my groups all the time but, from start to finish, everyone will have their own unique process.

And their own timeline.

Some people stop binge eating quickly, for some it takes longer, and I can’t, nor can anyone else, tell you how long it will take for you.

It will take as long as it takes.

But there are things you can do to shorten the amount of time it takes.

One thing is being consistent with doing the work. You’re not just showing up for yourself sometimes, you’re not having little quits everyday, you’re not giving up until tomorrow any time it gets hard or uncomfortable. You’re doing your best, you’re not perfect but you’re staying in the game instead of taking lots of breaks whenever you feel like it.

And another thing you can do to make the process happen faster, is to enjoy the process.

You can either choose to enjoy the process of stopping binge eating or, you can choose to hate it, dislike it, dread it, or fear it.

And if you choose to hate it, dislike it, dread it, or fear it, guess what’s going to happen?

You’re not going to engage in it.

You’re going to avoid it.

And when you don’t engage and you avoid, nothing will change.

There will be no process of change, you’ll just stay same.

Change isn’t going to happen unless you make it happen.

And if you think negatively about the process of stopping binge eating, you’re unlikely to make the necessary changes.

And it’s not even just how you think about the process as a whole.

It’s how you think about the components of it.

You may be okay with some and enjoy some parts of it but there might be parts that you are resistant to, that you don’t like, that you think are too hard or too uncomfortable.

And if those parts are integral for change, and you’re not doing them because of how you think about them, then you’re putting off stopping binge eating.

You’re going to make the process take longer.

So this is what disliking the process might sound like.

It’s not fair that I have to do this.

I shouldn’t have to do this.

This is taking too long.

I have to do this.

I can’t do that.

This sucks.

I hate doing this.

It’s too hard.

Do any of those thoughts sound familiar? Have you ever thought any of those about the process of stopping binge eating or about any of the components of stopping binge eating?

And if you have, what happened when you did?

You probably either didn’t do the work or, you did it but were forcing yourself to. And forcing yourself isn’t sustainable. Eventually, you’ll get tired of forcing and just let go.

Your attitude toward the process matters.

You can either be miserable while you’re in it or you can enjoy it.

That’s up to you and what you choose to think.

And I’ll tell you, enjoying it will make it so much easier.

When you feel joy it’s so much easier to do hard, uncomfortable, and effortful things than when you feel miserable.

You’ve probably seen that first hand many times where you do well when you’re feeling good but once you stop feeling good, you stop doing good.

It’s not inevitable that not feeling good means everything will go down the crapper. You have the option of not feeling good and doing the work anyway.

But intentionally thinking in a way that makes you feel neutral to positive will make it easer for you to stay in the game and be consistent like I mentioned earlier.

Whether you like it or not, this is indeed work. It’s work worth doing and there is an amazing purpose for doing it.

But work doesn’t have to be miserable. Hard things, challenges, and discomfort don’t have to be miserable.

You know this because you have felt neutral to positive while doing hard, challenging, or uncomfortable things.

Ever done a workout or exercised and it was all of those things but you were like, “Yeah! Look at me go!”

Or were working on something at your job and were so pumped and proud and in the zone and it felt kinda good?

That used to happen to me sometimes when I worked in restaurants and it was the busiest time, I was all over the place doing so many things and it was a challenge and sometimes got uncomfortable because I’m dealing with customers and coworkers and managers and myself. But I enjoyed it because it felt good to be challenged and when I’d go through the discomfort I’d be proud of myself.

And when I enjoyed it, it was easier to do the work. I was more willing to do the work. And my work was better.

During the times when I disliked it, hated it even, I’d be dragging myself around, I’d be trying to get out of there as soon as possible, and if I was feeling that way before even going in, I might try to get someone to cover my shift and not do any work that day. And the result of all of those actions, I’d make less money. My goal was to make money at my job and the process of me making money would slow down.

So if you want your process to speed up, and if you want it to not feel so bad as you go through it, enjoy it, on purpose. As much as you can.

There’s always going to be things you don’t like, don’t want to do, don’t feel like doing, and that are uncomfortable and challenging.

But you can think about them however you want to.

And with the things you’re just straight up not going to enjoy, you can neutralize them.

Let’s be realistic that you’re not going to feel super positive about everything and that’s not the goal nor is it necessary.

You’ll still be helping yourself if you’re thinking:

“This is just part of it.”

“This is just something I’m going to do.”

Very neutral.

And with that, you can normalize it.

“This is how goals are reached.”

“This is how change is created.”

“This is how I’ll stop binge eating.”

Imagine what the process would be like for you if you were thinking about it that way?

It would be better than thinking, “I shouldn’t have to do this,” “This is too hard,” or “This is annoying.”

And then there’s so many ways you can create enjoyment in the process, just like I did in my serving job.

You can find joy in the little things and little wins. Create little bits of joy.

You can celebrate yourself. It feels good to be celebrated!

Love the small changes that are happening. Notice any speck of progress and love on it.

Love the ahas and breakthroughs. It feels good to have them, when you see things in a new way, it’s exciting.

Give yourself small rewards all along the way. So often people want to wait until the end, when they reach their goal to reward themselves. Don’t wait until the end. Don’t even wait until the end of the week. Do it today, with anything you did well.

You can enjoy the experimentation of it all. It can be fun to figure things out.

And when you’re doing something, you can spend time just thinking about how this small thing you’re doing is going to create an awesome outcome. It can feel good to imagine good things in your future.

See the options available to you that will make this process more enjoyable?

I’ve even seen people think about looking forward to feeling an urge to binge.

Sounds crazy, right? But not when you think about it how they were.

They were seeing it as an opportunity to build their skills.

It was an opportunity to make changes in themselves.

It was an opportunity to work on breaking their habits and creating new ones.

It was an opportunity to get better at feeling and allowing discomfort.

You can make the work be something you can look forward to doing.

All by choosing how you want to think about it.

Choose to think about it in a way that will make it easier for you to do it.

Enjoy the process as much as you can.

Starting now.

Bye bye.