Ep #192: When You Should Be Doing Better

Hi! How are you? I’m good, thank you for asking. Let’s jump right in and talk about doing better.

It’s something a lot of us think we should be doing.

We think we should be doing better and we come up with all the reasons why this is.

I’ve been trying for so long.

I’ve tried so many things.

I’m doing the work.

And I know better.

You’re looking at all these things you’ve done and that you know and think those should equal you doing better than you are.

If you’ve been working on this for x amount of months or years or if you know x amount of information then that equals a certain amount of progress.

But unfortunately, this isn’t a math equation.

If it were, then everyone would just plug in the same time or same information and all stop bingeing at the same time.

It would be so great if it was that way and that predictable but, it’s not.

Everyone who listens to this podcast gains the same information yet, stops bingeing within different amounts of time. Some sooner than others, some later than others.

And there are people who have been working on this for decades and haven’t stopped and people who have been working on it for months and have.

And if you’re someone who is taking longer and thinking you shouldn’t be because other people are doing it faster or because you’re looking at one of the reasons I listed a minute ago, then you’re going to feel frustrated.

And let me tell you, feeling frustrated is not something that will aid you in doing better.

Feeling frustrated clouds up your mind and stops you from moving forward.

I’m very familiar with this feeling, frustrated is a common feeling for me when things aren’t going as I think they should.

I get worked up and sometimes am on the verge of crying. I can get kinda angry sometimes too and I get so focused on what isn’t working that should be. And none of that is helping me to do what I want to be doing.

If I want to do what I want to be doing, I have to calm myself down so I can get back to the headspace I need to be in to do it and so I can look for other options for how I can make it work.

Think about how you act when you feel frustrated.

That’s how you’re going to act when you think you should be doing better than you are.

Your frustration isn’t helping you to do better.

And I get that you might think it’s just the truth, that you should be doing better.

But it’s not the truth, you shouldn’t be.

You shouldn’t be doing better than you are.

You should be doing exactly as you are.

How you’re doing and the progress you’ve made is how it’s supposed to be and you arguing with this is you arguing with reality and all that does is upset and frustrate you.

It’s not going to change where you are in this moment.

So instead of arguing and saying it should be different, I suggest you accept this reality, your current truth, so you can drop the frustration and when you do, you’ll clear up your mind and here’s why that’s so important.

You’re where you are because of the decisions you’ve made and because of what work you’ve done.

If you want to do better than you have, you’ll need to make different decisions and do different work.

Right? If you want things to change you have to change what you’re doing.

And what are those different decisions and work that you need to do?

You’re only going to identify that if you’re in a calm headspace.

That’s when you’ll be able to clearly see other options instead of just dwelling on and focusing on what’s not working, which is what happens so often when we feel frustrated.

You are where you are and maybe you’re not where you want to be but, given where you started and what you’ve done, this is where you are.

If you can accept where you are then you’ll be in a better place to move forward and do better.

What your process has looked like is what yours was supposed to look like.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve seen other people do. There’s probably dozens of reasons why they’re further along than you and honestly, if you want to be where they are, comparing and despairing isn’t going to help you get there.

Instead, be inspired and inquire.

Use them as an example of what’s possible. Be inspired by them. Hear their story and imagine yourself being where they are.

And then, inquire.

If you have direct access to this person, ask them what they did to get there. Get ideas from them! This is what I recommend my group members do when they see someone in the group share the amazing progress they’re making. Learn from them.

And if you don’t have access to them, ask yourself what you think they did to get there. See what ideas you come up with when you imagine their roadmap toward success.

This is like what I talked about in last week’s episode.

Come up with ideas and get to work on them.

You can get to where you want to be. It will happen for you.

And if you’re not there now, it’s because you’re supposed to be here, where you are.

Again, you may not like it but, arguing with this fact of where you are won’t change it.

You’ll change it by accepting the point you’re at right now, and getting to work on what’s next.

You should be exactly where you are right now because you created this moment and this progress with the decisions you made.

Don’t beat yourself up about this, that’s for sure not useful. Forgive yourself for the decisions you made and accept them.

And if you want more progress, go create more.

You have the ability to do it. Believe that you will do better. Because you will.

Alright, I’ll talk to you again soon.

Bye bye.