Ep #95: Creating a Great Life

Hi! Here we are, together again! I love it so much.

This episode today is about creating greatness in your life.

At this point, you may just be yearning for better. You want a life that’s better than a life that includes binge eating. It doesn’t have to be great, you’d just be happy with a life without binge eating.

But I want to challenge you to strive for more if it’s something you’ve ever considered for yourself.

For some people, they don’t want that, and that’s totally fine, you don’t have to listen to this episode if that’s you. I’m not going to try and push a great life on anybody that doesn’t want it.

But if there’s any inkling in you that you want more out of your life, then listen on! Let’s talk about it and let’s talk about why you don’t have it.

Now, some of you may already consider your life to be pretty great. I talk to people sometimes who are so happy with their partner, their career, pretty much every part of their life except their eating. And if this is you, I truly believe that no matter how great your life is, it can always be better.

I truly believe that. I think we’re always capable of growing and evolving into better versions of ourselves and along with that comes better experiences in our lives and achieving bigger goals and doing things we once thought were impossible.

So as you look at your life as it is right now, why isn’t it as great as you want it to be?

You may want to say it’s because binge eating is in your life, and I’m not going to completely disagree with you there. Binge eating can lead to some very undesirable effects on your life.

But if we go deeper on this, we’ll find that there are things you’re doing and not doing that are stopping you from having the life you dream of and I want to go through some of the ones I’ve seen not only in my clients, but in people I’ve known throughout my life.

I’d say a big one, probably the most prominent, is lack of belief. They don’t believe it’s possible for them to do any more than what they’re doing now. They believe that this is it and it can’t get any better.

This happens all the time with people and their jobs and careers. They don’t ask for raises because they don’t believe they’ll get one. They don’t search for a better job or career because they don’t believe better is out there or that they’d get it if they did apply. They don’t start their own business because they don’t believe they’ll be successful.

It also of course happens with personal development and stopping binge eating. They don’t believe it’s possible for them to stop binge eating. They believe this is just how it is for them and nothing will change long-term.

Or in relationships. They think that their partner is the best they can get and stay in their relationship because they don’t believe there’s someone better for them out there.

When you’re stuck in believing that there isn’t better out there for you, you’re not going to search for it and you’re definitely not going to work for it.

You’re not going to take chances and risks, you’re not going to get out of your comfort zone, try new things, and create amazingness in your life that you didn’t have before.

Without belief in what’s possible for you, there will be no action. You have to believe that you life can be better in whatever way you want it to be in order for you to go out there and make it happen for yourself.

And that’s another part of this, is not wanting to be uncomfortable.

Do you think it was comfortable for me to start this podcast? To start my coaching practice? To date? To make changes in myself to have better relationships with the people in my life? To say no to food when I was feeling desire for it? To allow urges and other negative emotions?

No, none of that was comfortable. And if I hadn’t done all those things, my life wouldn’t be as great as it is. I wouldn’t be helping thousands of people stop binge eating. I wouldn’t have my amazing boyfriend. I would still be binge eating and struggling with my weight.

Ultimately, I wouldn’t be as content and happy with my life as I am.

I see too many people stay in comfort. They’d rather do what’s easy and comfortable. They don’t want to work for the things they want. Maybe they just want them to be handed to them. They want change to magically happen for them.

It’s like if you wanted to take a pill that would immediately stop you from binge eating instead of learning how to not binge and mastering the skills to do it.

Unfortunately, as far as I know, that guaranteed pill doesn’t exist so if you’re not willing to step outside of your comfort zone then you’re not going to grow.

I know it’s uncomfortable to talk about your binge eating, I know it’s uncomfortable to invest in yourself, I know it’s uncomfortable to learn and grow, but it couldn’t be more worth it.

I’ve watched too many people in my life stay in what’s comfortable and you know what happens? They miss out on creating the life they truly want. They don’t work towards having their dream job, they don’t have great social lives and romantic lives, and they don’t have the health and the mind they ideally want.

Ever heard the phrase, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone?” I 100% believe that. My teacher Brooke also says, “Discomfort is the currency for your dreams.” The more discomfort you are willing to feel, the more you will be able to do in your life.

Yes it’s uncomfortable to do all the things to stop binge eating – talking about it, investing in yourself, allowing urges, etc – but that’s where the magic happens. That where the true change and growth happens.

Staying comfortable, which means eating and not working on yourself, won’t get you anywhere.

Another one is that they have a fear of failure. If you’re afraid of failure it’s because you don’t know how to fail well. You make failure mean all kinds of negative things about you and then you feel terrible, embarrassed, ashamed, inadequate, all these kinds of feelings.

But it’s not really the failure you’re afraid of, it’s the feeling you’ll feel if you do. You think people will have opinions about your failure and you’re going to feel bad when they do. You will have opinions about your failure and you think you’re going to feel bad when you do.

Failing doesn’t mean that what you want isn’t attainable, it just means that it’s going to take a different method to attain it or you just need to work through the kinks of the method you did try.

Failure doesn’t happen if you don’t try, so you might just not try so you can avoid the possibility of failure happening. But if you don’t try, you don’t get the possibility that you’ll be successful and get what you want. You miss out on creating greatness in your life because you’re too scared. You’re scared of it not working out. But what about the fear of never having what you truly want? Of never even seeing if it was possible because you never took enough steps to make it a possibility?

Failure is a part of success. I’m pretty sure all people who are successful had some failures along the way. We try things, they don’t work, and we try again until we find something that does.

Now, touching on that, you may tell yourself you don’t know what to try or you don’t know what you want to do. Telling yourself you don’t know isn’t going to help you figure that out, it’s only going to stop you.

I’m sure if you spent some time thinking about it, you’d be able to find one thing. You could find one thing that could improve your life. You could find one thing you could do to make that happen.

You can start off vague saying you want to be more active. There’s so many ways you can do that, even simple ones like walking outside for 10 minutes or taking the stairs instead of the elevator. You can say you want to be more creative and there’s so many ways you can do that. Buy an adult coloring book, draw, paint, make music, choreograph dances, write scripts, seriously the list is endless.

You want to improve your life by getting binge eating out of it. What could you try to make that happen? There’s a ridiculous amount of things you could try in the 95 episodes I’ve put out there for you and you know what else you could try? Working with me in my group program of course. That’s for sure going to make it a lot easier for you to figure out how to stop binge eating because I’m going to tell you how, step by step.

You do know what to do and you do know what you want to do. Stop telling yourself you don’t and put aside some time to think about all the options available to you.

There are skills you have that you’re not using. There are opportunities out there you’re not looking for or seeing right in front of you. Maybe you’re choosing comfort, maybe you’re afraid of failure, maybe you don’t believe it’s possible for you.

If you keep doing these things, you’re going to end up settling for mediocre. Again, if that’s what you want, then live that life and be content with it.

But if it’s not, stop telling yourself this is fine. Stop telling yourself it’s good enough if you don’t really believe that it is and you want more.

The life you have now you have because of all the decisions you’ve made. You created this life. This isn’t just how life is for you, you’ve made it this way.

So if you’re able to create your life, why wouldn’t you create one you love?

This doesn’t mean you aim for a perfect life, that’s just not going to happen. No one has that. We all live in a world where we’re going to experience tough times and awesome times. If you’re taking charge and managing your mind, doing your thought work, being present, setting goals, and not doing all the things I talked about earlier in this episode, then it’s going to be about 50/50 tough and awesome.

There’s more available to you than what you have now.

There are more experiences and fun to be had. There’s more fulfillment, pleasure, and enjoyment.

A life without binge eating and all that comes along with that life is available to you if you take the steps toward having it and again, you’re only going to do that if you believe it’s possible, are courageous enough to ask for help, are willing to fail and experience discomfort, and have compelling reasons to do it.

You don’t have to settle for being unhappy or dissatisfied. That isn’t the only option for you. This isn’t just how life is for you, it’s just the life you’ve created based on the decisions you’ve made.

If you want a great life, or a greater life, it’s time to start making better decisions that will move you in that direction.

I honestly believe everyone deserves to live their best life, whatever that means to them.

Right now, I believe I’m living mine. Is it perfect? Not even close. Are there improvements I want to make? Heck yes. Am I happy with what I’ve created? Absolutely and I’m excited to create more because I believe I can, I’m not afraid to fail, and I’m willing to get uncomfortable. I know what’s possible for me and I’m not going to stop trying to get it.

If you’ve been feeling like you’ve been living a mediocre life and you’re ready to make it great, then I can’t recommend enough that you work with me to make it happen. In my group program, not only will you make some serious changes in your eating habits, but also some serious changes in your whole life. My clients are always telling me how they’re taking the work we’re doing and applying it to other areas of their lives and seeing amazing changes. They’ve made their lives greater and so can you.

If you want to see if my group program is the right fit for you and you’re ready to make an investment in a better life for yourself, head on over to coachkir.com/mini and request a free call with me. You don’t have to settle for a mediocre life if you don’t want to. Let me help you create the life of your dreams!

Talk to you soon, bye bye.