Ep #69: Justifications and Excuses

Hey! You guys, I went to a wedding this past weekend. Don’t you just love weddings?? So much freakin’ fun! I got to dress up, hang out with some really great people, dance a lot, thankfully there was some really great music which I always appreciate. The DJ started off with some classic stuff and later got into some 90s pop, hip hop and R&B which I love so much I couldn’t help myself! And to top it all off, I had a super handsome date, my boyfriend Mike, and if you want to see a picture of us from the photo booth I’m going to post it on the show notes page at coachkir.com/69. We look real good.

So if you’re having a wedding, I’d love to come. Invite me and we can dance the night away! As long as you have good music.

Alright, enough about weddings, this is not the wedding podcast. Let’s talk about justifying and making excuses for binges.

When I ask people what kinds of reasons or excuses they come up with to binge I tend to hear the same ones over and over.

It was a hard day.

I deserve it.

One time won’t hurt.

I can just do this and then do better tomorrow.

The day is already blown anyway.

It doesn’t really matter.

I’ve been doing good so it’s fine.

I haven’t eaten this in awhile so it’s okay to reward myself.

Any of these sound familiar to you?

Sometimes they may be what you’re thinking as an excuse or justification for eating those first bites that you eat before the binge and sometimes for planning and preparing for a whole binge ahead of time.

Either way, you’re giving yourself the okay to do something that either you’ve previously told yourself you’re not going to do or that you truly know you don’t want to be doing.

These excuses and justifications are you convincing yourself that it’s okay for you to eat those foods or to binge and you’re thinking them because the food or the binge is what you are wanting to do in that moment.

If you didn’t want to do it, you wouldn’t be making excuses and justifying your actions, right?

And clearly it’s not as simple as just saying, “I want to eat those foods so I’m going to do it,” you’re coming up with a reason to do it that you’re convincing yourself is a legit reason.

But when you look at these outside of the moment, do you like those reasons? Are they really legit? Are they really reasons you want to use to binge or eat foods you don’t really want to be eating?

Do you want to binge when you have a hard day? Will one time hurt? Does it really matter? Is this how you want to reward yourself?

These are the kinds of things we say when we know it’s better for us if we don’t do it but we want to defend our decision to do it.

Think about when you justify other things in your life.

You justify leaving early from work. Why? Let’s say it’s because you’re tired. You could totally work tired. But you’d rather not so you use tired as an excuse to cut out early.

Tired is also another excuse I hear from people a lot. They gave in to their urges or didn’t do the work they know to do because they were just too tired.

Tired does not mean you can’t do things. You are still capable but the real question is, are you willing to use the energy you do have for this thing? Are you willing to use the energy you do have to do your work or to not binge?

If you’re not willing, that’s when you’re going to try to justify not doing it. You’ll say you can just put it off until tomorrow.

Or another excuse we use in life, excuses to not go to places we said we’d go to. Ever justified that to yourself? I used to do this a lot and my most common reason was that I just don’t feel like it anymore. The day comes and I just don’t feel like socializing, or going out, or even just getting ready. I know that once I get out there it will be fun, which is why I work through my “not feeling like it” these days and I go regardless of how I feel the couple hours before, unless of course I’m like for real not feeling well or am completely exhausted, that’s different than just not being in the mood. But I know what it’s like to justify my decision to stay home and then also justify my decision to eat while I’m home because although I chose to not have fun with people, I chose to have supposed fun by myself at home with food. I didn’t feel like getting ready and going out but I sure did feel like going out to buy food real quick and eating it alone at home. Eating was just easier than doing the social thing.

Which, hey, there’s another justification I hear – it’s easier. Sure, giving in to urges and eating is easier than not, but when you want to stop binge eating, the easy way isn’t the way to do it.

Part of you is trying to convince the other part of you that doing this thing is a good idea. You’re then letting that convincing part of you win and you believe it.

Then when you believe it, what happens? What’s the result of you justifying and eating?

It makes your hard day harder.

You deserve to feel whatever negativity you feel.

The one times hurts.

You blow the day more.

You stop caring about what matters.

You stop doing good like you have been.

You reward yourself with a binge.

You make yourself more tired.

You take the easy way out that really keeps you in.

That’s all that happens when you choose to believe those excuses and justifications.

If those aren’t results you want in your life, you gotta take control of your thoughts. You have to call yourself out for using the same lines over and over that give you the same results over and over.

So what are you own personal justifications and excuses that you use for eating and bingeing? Are they ones I mentioned or do you have other ones you use?

Find out what yours are. Write down as many as you can think of on a piece of paper and when you notice yourself thinking other ones, write those ones down.

Become familiar with what excuses you give yourself so you can spot them when they come up.

Think about when someone gives you the same excuse over and over. At first, you may believe them and let them not show up for you. Then they do it a few more times and you still believe them but you start getting a little suspicious. Eventually, you stop believing them. You’ve heard that one before, and you’ve heard it enough, and you’re not accepting it any longer.

Do not accept it from yourself anymore. Don’t allow yourself to think you deserve a binge or that it won’t matter or that you’re just too tired. Knock it off!

Be very honest with yourself about where that kind of thinking will lead you. Honesty, it’s so important to have it with yourself.

Yes, part of you wants to eat that food and binge on all the food, but it’s only that part of you in the moment when you’re feeling urges and uncomfortable feelings.

But the real truth, is that you want to stop. That’s why you’re here listening to this.

So what do you believe? The true you or the emotional, urge ridden you?

Yes it’s going to be harder to believe the real you when you are feeling urges and emotions, but the more work you do outside of those moments to become aware of and familiar with your excuses and justifications, the easier it will be to see them for what they are.

Then you can justify not bingeing. I’m sure you have some great reasons for doing that.

Know your excuses, know how you justify, and know what result they create for you.

Hear yourself, listen to yourself, and catch yourself doing the justifications and giving the excuses and do not let yourself convince yourself to believe them. Believe what you want to believe, what you truly believe and get the results that you really, truly want.

No more excuses. Have a great week, bye bye!