Ep #6: Can YOU Stop Binge Eating?

Hi! As you work on applying what you learn here on the podcast, there’s one thing I want you to make sure that you do. It’s really important and needs to happen in order for you to be successful with stopping binge eating.

You have to believe you can do it. Or at least, believe you can do some of the things you’ll need to do to stop binge eating.

Imagine you’ve just listened to an episode and you learn a really useful concept or a useful tool and then think, “Yeah, that makes so much sense, but I don’t think I can do that.”

What will you do then?

Likely, you’ll do nothing.

You’ll give up before you even try. You won’t even give yourself a chance to see if you can do it.

Or maybe you do try but it’s hard for you, and you quickly believe it won’t work for you so you just stop trying.

Either you decide before you even try that you can’t do it or, you decide you can’t if it’s hard when you do try.

But here’s the thing. There are SO many things we are capable of doing that are hard for us at first. And they’re hard simply because we haven’t done them before.

But, if we keep trying, and keep putting in effort, as we keep trying, it actually gets easier.

That’s how it goes. Hard things can get easier the more we do them.

But in order for you to keep trying, you need to believe that you will get better at it and that it will get easier.

And when it comes to the things you’ll need to do to stop binge eating, you can do them and they will get easier.

I honestly believe that everyone can.

Now, I do know what its like to not believe you can do it.

When I was bingeing, there were times I believed I’d be able to stop for good but, many times I didn’t, and when I didn’t, I’d give up on myself.

I’d just go on a binge fest for days. I’d binge one day, then the next day I’d keep it going, and then the next day I’d just do it again because why not? I didn’t think I could change. I thought this was just how it was going to be for me, forever.

So as long as I believed I’d struggle with binge eating forever, then I was going to keep myself bingeing. Then on the rare days I believed there was a way out, that was when I spent time searching for what I could do and was trying what I learned.

If you don’t believe you can do it, you won’t. You won’t even try.

You’ll feel hopeless and then put in no effort.

And it is going to take effort to stop binge eating.

Changing your habits, changing your relationship with food, changing how you handle your emotions, changing your relationship with yourself and with your body isn’t just going to happen.

You’re going to make it happen.

But you won’t if you don’t believe you can.

You’ll think about stopping binge eating and believe you won’t be able to stop and will have to struggle forever. So you feel defeated and hopeless. So you do nothing different, you just give in to your urges to binge and you don’t apply anything you’ve learned. And then, the struggle continues.

This is how it’s going to work out every time.

You believe you can’t and then you create the result of you not doing it.

And then you use that result as evidence that you can’t do it.

But here’s what you need to see.

It’s your lack of belief in yourself that is stopping you from doing it.

It’s not that you can’t, it’s that once you don’t believe you can, you won’t.

But, what if you did believe? What would happen then?

It would look more like this.

You believe you can, so you feel confident, or determined, or motivated, so you do everything you can to try and stop, and you make progress toward stopping.

That’s how it could go for you if, you believe in yourself.

But maybe you’re having a hard time believing in yourself.

If you are, it’s probably for the same reason as so many other people who also don’t believe in themselves.

It’s because you’ve failed so many times in the past.

You’re tried to stop, you’ve tried to change your eating habits, but you’ve always ended up bingeing again.

You don’t believe you can stop binge eating because of what you’ve seen in your past.

But here’s what you need to know.

Your past does not predict your future.

Even if you haven’t been able to stop yet, that doesn’t mean you can’t.

It just means that what you tried in your past didn’t work.

But, if you do something different in the future, it could work.

You can do something new and different and have new and different outcomes, and be successful, even if you haven’t before but, only if you believe it’s possible.

So, if you’re having a hard time believing you can stop binge eating because you haven’t done it yet, tell yourself the truth about what that means – your past results are only proof that what you did didn’t work, it’s not proof of how capable you are.

Also, when you think about stopping binge eating, it can seem like a huge goal, a huge change, a huge undertaking.

And it can be hard to believe in big goals like that.

So instead of focusing on the big goal, a goal that you’ve failed at succeeding with for however many years, focus on what you do believe you can do, because you’ve seen yourself do it.

Focus on the successes that you’ve had in the past.

They exist. You do have some.

Remember that time that you didn’t binge on that food that you usually binge on?

Remember that time when you felt an uncomfortable emotion and didn’t binge?

Remember that time when you felt an urge to binge and you didn’t give in to it and it eventually went away?

Or you didn’t give in to it right away and you actually felt it without eating for a little bit?

Even just thinking about one of those can help you to get started.

You can believe that if you did it once, you can do it again.

And you can. And you can do it more, and for longer once you learn how to do it on purpose.

Having belief that you are capable of doing a component of stopping binge eating can be a very useful start.

It can get you going and help you to get momentum.

And it can be a catalyst for you believing you can do other things related to stopping binge eating too.

You believe you can do one thing, so you work on it and you do it, then you build a little confidence and think maybe you can do this other thing too, and it keeps on going like that.

So spend more time thinking about why you can stop binge eating, or why you can do at least one thing that will help you to stop binge eating, rather than thinking about all the reasons why you think you can’t.

You get to choose what you focus on, so choose to focus on what will actually help you to make progress.

And even just believing that maybe you can do it, or it’s possible you can do it, or if other people can do it than there’s a chance you can do it too, would be helpful.

Even some belief is more helpful than none.

Decide what you want to believe about what you can do, every day.

Then practice thinking about it and believing it. And not just on the days you think are good days. I hear people say, “On a good day I believe it.” No, every day. Every day remind yourself of your previous accomplishments no matter how small they may seem. Everyday remind yourself of what you’re capable of.

So, just because you haven’t been successful yet, doesn’t mean you aren’t capable.

When you look to the future, you can believe whatever you want to believe about what’s possible for you, so why not believe something good?

Decide what you want to believe and practice believing it. Look for evidence to prove it. Remember that one time? Focus on that.

Don’t give up on yourself.

Alright, have a wonderful week believing in yourself and don’t forget to take a minute to rate, and if you’re on Apple Podcasts, write a review for this podcast if you haven’t already. It can help other people find it and encourage them to listen to it so they can get help with stopping binge eating too! Alright, I’ll talk to you next week. Bye bye.