Ep #309: Changing How You Feel Fast

Hi! Let’s talk about changing your feelings fast.

It’s what a lot of us want to do.

We want to feel better fast and we want to stop feeling uncomfortable ASAP.

And that’s a big reason why so many of you binge. You’re trying to feel better and stop feeling how you’re feeling.

Eating can help you do that quickly. Pretty much as soon as you start eating, and even sometimes before you start eating, as you’re anticipating that you’re going to eat, you already feel relief, comfort, joy, soothed, something better than how you were feeling.

Eating can work. It can help you to feel how you want to feel and stop you from feeling how you don’t want to feel.

But as you’ve experienced, it can make you feel worse if you eat too much.

And you might eat too much to try and keep the better feelings going. You might keep eating to maintain the good feelings because you know that when you stop eating, it’s likely the good feelings will stop too.

And that’s because you’re not truly changing how you’re feeling, you’re not really getting out of the uncomfortable feelings, you’re just avoiding them, ignoring them, distracting from them, or covering them up for a moment while you’re eating.

So basically, when you’re feeling uncomfortable, and you want to feel better fast, you eat, you feel better, and you keep eating so you can keep feeling better, but then you end up eating an excessive amount and you end up feeling way too full and physically uncomfortable and all that goes along with that.

Eating might work but it’s not without consequence and, it’s also not really changing how you feel.

Again, eating is a way to avoid, ignore, or distract from how you’re feeling. It’s not creating real change. The uncomfortable emotion will still exist beneath the surface. That’s why it appears again when you stop eating.

So you may feel better quickly but, it’s not going to last.

If you want it to last, you need to address the cause of the uncomfortable emotion.

And the cause of it, is your thoughts.

Your thoughts cause your feelings.

The reason why you feel how you feel is because of what you’re thinking.

So if you want to truly feel better, and not have it be as temporary as when you’re eating food, then, what you’re thinking needs to change.

But, it’s going to take longer to change your thinking than it will take for you to eat.

It’s not as quick of a fix so if you’re going to choose it you need to be willing to wait.

And so many of you aren’t willing to wait and that’s why you choose the quick fix of eating.

You want to feel better now, you don’t want to wait.

You aren’t willing to be in the discomfort.

And I get it, it’s not enjoyable to be uncomfortable. It’s not pleasant. I think we can all agree on that.

But it’s crazy how unwilling we are to be in it for even just a few more minutes.

And that’s partly because many of us tend to over estimate how long we will feel how we feel.

I’ve done this myself where I think I’m going to feel the feeling for the rest of the night or the rest of the day and when you think it’s going to last a long time, and if you’re not used to feeling through your feelings, you might be less willing to feel it through.

But now, even if I think I’m going to feel that feeling for hours, I’m going to feel it because I’m more comfortable with doing it than I used to be before because I’ve practiced doing it so many times. I’ve gotten used to just feeling.

But many people who binge aren’t. So once they think it’s going to be there awhile, they want a break. They want out. They don’t want to wait hours.

And really, it’s possible it won’t last as long as they think it will. And! They’re thinking that there isn’t anything they can do to help themselves to not feel it as long. And there is.

We can work on our thoughts.

If we just let our thoughts that are causing our uncomfortable emotions swirl around in our heads, and maybe we add more thoughts that are causing more uncomfortable emotions, and we change nothing, then we’re going to keep feeling how we’re feeling.

But, if we write down or speak our thoughts, and we show ourselves on paper or we hear what we’re thinking, and we become aware of what we’re thinking that is causing those emotions, then we can start to look for other options for what we can think. We can explore other perspectives, opinions, ways of looking at the situation that we’re having thoughts about, simply, we an explore other ways of thinking, and then we can start shifting into thinking that way. And with those different thoughts will come different emotions.

Real, different emotions because the uncomfortable ones will be resolved, not just ignored or avoided.

Now, it’s not always as easy as just changing your thoughts. Sometimes our belief in the thoughts that are causing the uncomfortable emotions is strong. Sometimes we’re not in a place where we’re open to seeing other options for what we can think and we have no idea what else we can think. Or trying to think and believe something else just isn’t working in that moment.

Let’s say you’re feeling really stressed about a deadline and you keep thinking that you have too much to do and not enough time so you’re not going to meet the deadline. So you try to tell yourself that it will all be fine but you’re not believing that right now.

If something like that happens with your thinking, it’s okay.

If that happens, you’re going to just allow yourself to be in the thoughts you’re currently thinking and be in the uncomfortable feelings they’re causing.

You’re going to focus on how you’re feeling, accept how you’re feeling, and let yourself feel it.

Give it some time and at some point, you will feel ready to do some work on your thoughts.

But you have to give it time.

Don’t run away, eat, and cause a cycle of discomfort.

Don’t give up on feeling.

Go through it. You’ll be so much better off if you do.

You’ll be moving toward really feeling better rather than setting yourself up to compound your discomfort.

Give your emotions time to move through you.

Don’t give up on your ability to feel better naturally, without consuming something to make it happen.

You have that ability.

So if you want to change how you’re feeling, the fastest way to really do it is the longer way.

The fast and quick way of eating food isn’t really going to do it.

It’s more likely going to prolong your discomfort because you’re not resolving how you’re feeling and you’re adding more discomfort by eating too much food.

Skip that part where you get the temporary better feelings by eating.

Be willing to feel the emotions you feel and get to work on changing the cause of your emotions, your thoughts.

And when you’re feeling those emotions, it’s important that you’re not getting impatient or frustrated or fearful with what you’re feeling.

You’ll be okay. It really is temporary and won’t last forever, it probably won’t last as long as you’re thinking it will, and feeling through it really is the best way.

Give your emotions the time they require instead of pushing them away. Take the time to handle them productively.

That’s how you’re going to truly feel better as fast as you can.

Alright, feel those feelings and work on your thoughts and I’ll talk to you again soon. Bye bye!