Ep #305: Worrying About Making the Wrong Eating Decisions

Hi! Let’s talk about making the wrong eating decisions. I know it’s something a lot of you worry about.

And because you’re worrying, you think about it too much, you don’t make a decision, so you stay stuck in uncertainty and indecision, and in the end, you might actually end up impulsively making a decision that you regret making.

Or if you don’t regret your decision, you still spent way too much mental energy and time on making the decision because you were being indecisive, worrying about making the wrong decision.

So many of you just want to think about food less, and not have it occupy so much of your mind space and your time.

And not spending your time worrying about making the wrong eating decision can help with that, a lot.

It’s possible for you to stop worrying and to make a decision that won’t be the wrong one.

Because here’s the thing about decisions. There are no right or wrong decisions. There are only decisions, and then we decide if they were right or wrong.

Let’s say I ate a meal, and I felt full, but then I ate dessert and felt too full.

Did I make the wrong decision when I decided to eat that dessert?

You might think the answer is yes because I felt too full but, the answer isn’t definitively yes.

Sure, I may look at how I feel and think I made the wrong decision. I may think that I shouldn’t have eaten it.

However, I may also look at the situation as a whole and think I made the right decision. I might not care that I feel too full. I might have enjoyed that dessert so much that to me, it was totally worth feeling how I feel now.

People think that way all the time. They eat too much, feel too full, but they loved what they ate and think it was totally worth it, even though they feel too full. They’ll just feel too full, then it will pass, and it’s not a big deal to them.

So many of us get so caught up in not knowing which will be the right decision and which will be wrong as if we have no say over what will be right or wrong.

But we’re the ones deciding if it was right or wrong.

But even with knowing that, you might still worry about making a decision that you will, in the end, decide was wrong.

So I want to help you to make decisions that you will believe are the right decisions so you can spend less time worrying, less time in indecision, and just make the decision so you can follow through on it and be done with it.

So first, before you make a decision, when you’re considering your options, you’re going to think them through. And when you think them through, you’re going to make sure you go all the way through.

Here’s an example where some people stop too soon when they’re considering their options.

Say they’re worried about whether they should eat now, before an obligation, or eat later after it’s over.

They’ll think, “If I eat now then I’ll be eating too soon, so I might get hungry again later when it’s too close to bedtime.”

And then they think, “But if I wait until afterward, I might get hungry while I’m there, which will be uncomfortable and I might be too hungry when it’s time to eat.”

Now, I want you to notice something about what they’re thinking. With both options they’re considering, they’re focusing only on what could go wrong. So if that’s what they’re focusing on, then they’re going to think both are gonna be wrong decisions and therefore, they have a hard time making a decision.

So it basically comes down to, which will really be the more wrong decision of the two?

That’s what they’re dealing with, that’s why the decision doesn’t get made, that’s why the worry about which to choose continues.

So, if this is something you tend to do too, here’s what I suggest. You take it one step further and find the solution.

Here’s what I mean.

If I choose to eat now, and then I get hungry again later when it’s too close to bedtime, what will I do? How will I handle that?

My answer: If I get hungry, I’ll eat enough to ease my hunger, so if I’m just a little hungry, something small, if I’m hungry for a meal I’ll eat a meal, and I’ll eat something that won’t keep me awake or negatively affect my sleep.

Now for option number one, I have a plan and I can see how that could be a fine decision to make. It will all be okay.

Or if I wait until afterward, and I get hungry while I’m there, which will be uncomfortable, and if I’m too hungry when it’s time to eat, how will I handle that?

My answer: If I get hungry while I’m there I’ll just let myself be hungry, I am capable of feeling hunger discomfort, and afterward, I’ll do my best to eat slowly even though my brain is telling me to eat fast to get rid of the hunger quickly. Also, if I choose this option, I’m going to decide right now what I’m going to eat because it will be easier to make a decision I’ll be happy with if I make it when I’m not feeling ravenous.

Now for option two, I also have a plan and it can also be an okay decision.

It’s going to be so much easier to decide which I’d prefer when I can see how both will work out, because I’ve decided how I will handle the hunger that might come up, instead of just focusing on what the problems might be.

When you’re faced with a decision, don’t just focus on the problem with each decision, find the solution to the problem. Then choose which you’d rather do.

Both can work out just fine. Both can be good decisions. And you can handle any problems that you face when you are following through with your decision.

So much worry can be eased when you show yourself what you will do if something undesirable happens if you make that decision.

Walk yourself through the solution, all the way to the end.

Let’s look at some other decisions people worry about.

Say you think you’re full but you’re not sure. You’re worried that if you decide to keep eating then you’ll get too full. But if you stop you might not really be full and then you’ll be left feeling physically unsatisfied.

You can see the problems here, right? Now, what will you do? How will you handle it?

If you decide to keep eating and feel too full, you’ll just let yourself feel too full until it passes…and you’re not going to be hard on yourself because of it.

If you decide to stop eating and it really wasn’t enough, you can eat more when you have the next opportunity to eat. Or if that’s not for awhile, you can let yourself feel hungry for a bit. If you really ate to the point of where you’re considering if you’re full or not, it’s likely that you might feel hungry sooner than you would if you had eaten more but, it’s unlikely that it will happen right away, so it’s not like you’re going to be feeling really hungry right away. You’ll be okay if you’re hungry, hunger is not an emergency.

Now you have solutions, which do you choose?

And listen, if they seem equal to you, just pick one. Either is fine. With either, you’ll be okay.

Either could result in discomfort and you’re capable of feeling discomfort.

And if you choose the one where you might feel physical discomfort, and you do end up feeling it, I have to repeat that you’re not going to be hard on yourself and mentally beat yourself up for making that decision.

When it comes to decisions you make, even if you don’t love the outcome, you can still be okay with having made that decision. You can believe that you made what you thought was the right decision at the time.

You took a moment to think it through, and you saw the problem and saw the solution and you chose what you thought was best.

And you can stand by your decision.

Yes you feel too full, yes you’re uncomfortable, but you thought that would be better than feeling hungry too soon later.

Support yourself and support your decision instead of telling yourself that you were wrong.

You made the best decision you could for yourself at the time. Done.

Now, what other decisions might you worry about?

How about, what to eat?

You’re worried about being satisfied, like, which will taste better.

Now, if you’ve never eaten either option, you can’t know.

So you’re just going to choose one, based on what you know about yourself and what you usually like the most.

And if you’re not satisfied, if you didn’t love the food, or if you didn’t even like the food, here’s how you will handle it.

You can be pleased about the fact that you are no longer hungry. You are physically satisfied, you’re no longer feeling hungry, your meal did it’s main job of fueling you. You can feel good about that.

You can be content with having learned something about that food and about yourself.

You can also decide that your next meal will be something you’ll be more sure that you’ll like.

And, if that meal didn’t give you the pleasure you were looking for, you can go get pleasure elsewhere. That food wasn’t the only source of pleasure, there’s so much more available to you.

You can handle it if the meal isn’t as mentally satisfying as you wanted it to be. So choose what you think will be the most satisfying, and if it’s not, again, support yourself in your decision making, and focus on what you did get from that meal. And then go get other pleasure.

You can do this with so many of your eating decisions that you worry about making.

When you’re deciding what to eat you might worry that what you want won’t fill you up so you’re deciding if you should get it or get something else that you don’t want as much. How will you handle it if it you get what you want and it doesn’t fill you up? How will you handle it if you get the other thing and it’s not that good?

When you’re deciding how much to order or to buy or to put on your plate, you might worry if it will be too much or not enough. How will you handle it if it’s too much? How will you handle it if it’s not enough?

And when you’re deciding if you should eat or not because you’re not sure if you’re hungry or not and are worried that you might not be hungry. You’re confused because you’re still learning about your hunger signals. How will you handle it if you eat and realize you’re not hungry? How will you handle it if you don’t eat and then realize you are hungry?

All of these decisions you’re worrying about can end up being just fine.

You can handle whatever happens and when you go through how you’ll handle it ahead of time, you can be prepared for whatever might happen. You don’t need to worry about what will happen because you’ve decided what you’ll do, and you’re going to do it.

And because this is a binge eating podcast, I do want to address the worries you might have about eating that you think will lead to a binge.

Something that comes up a lot is that people worry that if they decide to eat a certain food then it will turn into a binge. But when it comes to worries like that, it needs to be broken down more.

Eating that food isn’t just going to turn into a binge. Here’s what would really happen.

You’d eat that food and then feel an urge for more. If you give in to that urge, and you keep making the decision to eat more and more, then it will turn into a binge.

The food isn’t the problem. It’s you giving in to the urge for more after you’ve eaten that food.

So when you’re looking for a solution here, you’re asking yourself, “If I feel an urge for more, or if I feel an urge to binge on that food, how will I handle that urge?”

That’s what you want to answer for yourself.

Don’t spend your time worrying about the food causing a binge, because it’s not going to.

What will cause a binge is you giving in to your urge for more and more and more.

And you’re not going to give in to that urge.

When you’ve eaten the amount you truly want to eat, and you then feel that urge, you’re going to tell yourself why you don’t want to eat more and you’re going to choose to feel the urge until it passes.

That’s your solution.

And if as you’re doing this work I’m talking about today with your decision-making, you come up with solutions that sound good but you’re not exactly sure how to execute them, or if you feel that way about any of the solutions I offered here today, there’s two things for you to do.

One, it is highly likely that I’ve covered that topic on this podcast so you’re going to look through the episodes and find one, or some, that are relevant to what you want to work on.

And two, you’re going to practice, practice, practice.

You can practice feeling hungry, practice feeling discomfort, practice useful self-talk, practice, practice, practice because that’s how you’re going to get better at it.

You can stop worrying about making the wrong decision if you take some time to find a solution for the problems with each option and make your decision with that solution and plan in mind.

And even if the decision doesn’t turn out great, you can still be okay with the decision, knowing that it was what you thought was right at the time.

Let’s ease the worry and get out of indecision.

Alright, that’s all for today, talk to you next time, bye bye.