Ep #105: Binge Eating Success Story – Sadie

In this episode, I’m bringing on one of my former clients and she’s going to share her binge eating story. She talks about trusting herself, some of the surprising things that contributed to her eating, and gives some great insights into how you can also stop binge eating.

She’s awesome, she’s inspiring, and I have no doubt you will relate to her and feel more hopeful after hearing her story.

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WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
  • What life was like for Sadie when she was binge eating
  • Some helpful shifts she made in her process of stopping binge eating
  • Helpful advice for how you can do better as you’re trying to stop binge eating
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Hi! I’m so excited to bring on to the podcast another one of my former clients today!

Her name is Sadie, she’s originally from New Zealand which is so fun, and she’s amazing.

This woman really showed up for herself while we were working together and you’ll hear all about it during our conversation.

So without further ado, here’s me and Sadie talking about her binge eating story.

Enjoy!

Kirstin:
Welcome to the podcast.

Sadie:
It’s great to be here.

Kirstin:
I am so excited to have you here. So to start off, just tell us all a little about yourself, your background with eating and food and your weight. Just all of the things.

Sadie:
Sure. So I’m 34 years old and I am a Kiwi. You can hear my accent, but I actually live in London, UK now. And I moved over here to start my own business. And I was working on that and bingeing happened in all of that time, which we will get into. So my bingeing story is that I was bingeing for around about seven years. I started at about four 58 kilos, which is 127 pounds, but from the binge eating, my weight got up to 160 pounds, so that’s 73 kilos in the space of that time. Then I came and did coaching with you, things have changed. And now I’m at about 67 kilos going down, so that 147 pounds. And I’m aiming to get to about 60, which was, yeah, my happy weight. So that’s 132. Yeah. So I’m glad, I’m glad things are going in that direction.

Kirstin:
Yes. So tell me a little bit about what life was like while you were bingeing. Why was it a problem for you? How was it affecting your life?

Sadie:
What a problem it was. So bingeing really got bad for me for about seven years. And it started off with just comfort eating, eating a little bit more in some places and it turned into something horrible. So it would happen about at least once a week, pretty much throughout those years. Like this pressure would build up and then I would have a big binge. Sometimes I had binges where I would go out intentionally and buy a bunch of food knowing I was doing that. Other times, it was just this constant eating and feeling like I just had to keep eating.

Sadie:
When it got really bad was when I was traveling for work and I was out of control eating everything in the minibar, which was just awful. But other times it was just be this, it would just be stress would build up. And then if it was a particularly stressful time, maybe I’d be bingeing every day. So I could be just constantly grazing throughout those days. And by the end of the day, feeling really awful. Beating myself up, going online, Googling what emotional eating was. How the heck do you stop this? Okay. I just need to be more disciplined, was what I was trying to do.

Kirstin:
Yeah. So you said stress was a big factor for you. Is that what led to a lot of your binges would you say?

Sadie:
Yeah, I think stress and difficult emotions. So I would, if it was a stressful time, my go to was sort of eat something first, it’ll feel a bit better. I don’t think I was consciously thinking about it, but it’s like this thing I have to do, I don’t want to do it. If I eat, it feels a bit better. Well, that felt good, so let’s do it again in an hour and another hour. And then you realize you’ve eaten several meals and you haven’t even had mealtime. It would carry on like that.

Kirstin:
Yeah. So it’s originally just, I want to feel better. Get the relief from the stress and then it just keeps continuing and continuing looking for more relief from the stress. Right? And did it make the stress go away?

Sadie:
No. I mean, that was the crazy thing about being stuck in this cycle was it would feel so… It would feel good momentarily, but even while I was doing it, at the back of my head, I was like, I know how this is going to end at the end of the day. At the end of the day, I’m feeling ill, I’m feeling guilty, I’m feeling disappointed. Maybe the thing I was trying to do got done or didn’t, I’m still feeling stressed. So no, it didn’t work. And the most frustrating thing was when I could see that it was happening, but could not stop doing it.

Kirstin:
Yeah. Did you believe it was possible to stop?

Sadie:
I did. I knew it was. Did I believe it? I don’t know if I really believed it for a long time, but then I heard other people had done this. Like I had heard from you talking about it. But long before that I heard other people would write articles where they’d talk about how they’ve managed to stop. So I knew people had said they’d done it, but I think deep down, because it kept happening and I was reading the things and finding out the information it was still happening. It was like, “I just don’t really know how this is going to stop. I know it’s possible, but maybe not for me.” That’s what I guess I was thinking.

Kirstin:
Yeah. A lot of people say that, they’re like, “Oh, I hear that you have done it and I read all these stories.” And that gives them a little bit of possibility, but why do you think you thought that you wouldn’t be able to do it? Why did you think that you were the special case?

Sadie:
Because I so badly didn’t want to be doing it and then I would keep doing it. How it would feel afterwards was so awful and as my weight was getting bigger and I was feeling worse about myself, not just because the weight was higher, but because I knew why it was higher, I knew it was from the bingeing. And so it just seemed like, I already know that this is related to stress, I know it’s related to emotions, but why can’t I stop? So, because I thought, “Well, maybe there’s something wrong with me.”

Kirstin:
Was there?

Sadie:
Well, the good news is I don’t do that anymore. On the bright side, I don’t do that anymore. So I mean, I’ve learned that no, there absolutely wasn’t something wrong with me. I just didn’t have what I needed to be able to put into action what I needed to do. So, no, there’s not something wrong with me. I mean, thinking back to it now, it’s kind of weird reflecting on what was happening because my life was just so different.

Kirstin:
Yeah. But that happens to so many people. They’re like, Oh no, I’m broken. There’s something wrong with me. Right. And it’s just that you just don’t know how and people get caught up in the same thing that you did. It’s like, I really want it and I understand where it’s coming from, but you just don’t have the tools or you don’t know how to apply it, or there’s something standing in your way that you just don’t know what it is.

Sadie:
Yeah. And so much of the advice would be like do things to be less stressed. So it’s like, destress your life and I was like, “Well, but I run my own business.” I mean, my life was stressful at times. Like it’s just going to be, I can’t, there’s only so much that I can remove or it was like, “Go and take a nice bath.” I was like, “I don’t have the time to take five baths a day.” Because that’s how many times I was wanting to binge, this is not working for me. So I just, I couldn’t use that stuff.

Kirstin:
Yeah. So why did you decide to reach out for coaching when you did?

Sadie:
Well, I think when I was hearing the podcast, it really spoke to me because I could hear from the episodes, you just, you knew what I was going through. Like the amount of different things you would say, I be like, “That I’ve lived. That goes through my head. That is why I’m doing it.” It was sometimes like, I would hear my thoughts for the first time, because you were voicing them and you said, you did this, you said you weren’t doing this anymore. And I thought, “She really seems to know what she’s talking about.” And I demolished the podcast and I had nowhere to go. And I just thought, maybe it’s time that I actually give this a go. It didn’t seem to be coming from a place that like, it didn’t seem so risky because I just heard in your words that you knew the journey. Yeah.

Kirstin:
Yeah. And then you were really committed. Like you were extremely committed. You’re like, “Okay, by this day I want to be doing this. I want to be making these changes.” Right? You were really thinking forward to the person that you wanted to be at certain points in the program. Why do I think you were so committed to this?

Sadie:
I think I remember in one of our first conversations, like when I first got to talk to you and I was just asking questions about what it would be like. So if I sign up for this, what’s it going to be like? And then you started talking about some things. I was like, “Yeah, you seem to know what I’m talking about, what I’m going through,” but then I said, “Is this possible to stop?” And you said, “Yes.” It’s like really? And then I just felt, okay. She says I’ve got to just listen to everything she tells me to do. And I thought, I don’t know, I really felt supported by that. And I thought, you’re saying it’s possible. You’re saying in the podcasts episodes, the things that I relate to, it’s like, what if I just really trust it and also I committed the money.

Sadie:
So I think that’s a really helpful thing. It was a bigger commitment than I’d made for this in other ways. And so then all of a sudden it’s like, “What do I want to get out of this experience?” And I knew it was up to me and it did get quite difficult in the middle. I think about halfway I was thinking, “I haven’t really made the progress I wanted, I’m still mucking around with some things that we’ve gone over.” And then, I think there was a turning point for me where I realized I have to do what I want to get what I want out of this. And so I just buckled down. I was like, “I’m going full throttle, I’m going to commit to everything, follow all of the things to a T.” And then of course the results started to happen. I just needed to get in and do the work.

Kirstin:
Yes. And I love what you said in the middle was when it started to get hard, you started to question yourself and this is why I do it the way I do it. Because people question the length of the program, the amount of the investment in the program. And they’re like, “Oh, can I just try it out?” Or they’re concerned about making that kind of investment in themselves. And I’m like, “This is what keeps you going.” If it was like a dollar and I was like, “Oh, we’ll just talk whenever you feel like it and then maybe I’ll see you again.” You would have just quit when it was hard. This is what we do on our own, we don’t have skin in the game. We haven’t invested in something.

Sadie:
Yeah. Completely. And I think that really helped in the middle too, because I was like, the end point is coming and it wasn’t, I was getting what I needed, it was just how am I applying that during the week? And then if I kept doing the same thing, I was like, “Why am I not doing the other thing?” And then that’d be the kind of thing you’d discuss. Well, why didn’t you? Oh, okay. Now we’re actually going to address that. But I was really lucky with the timing I think because lots of my stuff gets… lots of my bingeing would come up in stressful situations and because of the time of year that we did sessions, I got to go to all this places that my most brutal stuff happens. So I used to run an event in Thailand every year, I was in there for one of the weeks. I was like, I’m so stressed. So I got to deal with all of the tools live.

Sadie:
And then I went home to visit my family and all these things come up when you go to your home and you visit your family. So again, I was like, “Well, now I’m getting to use these tools and actions.” So I was very lucky in that way, but it’s did mean I was working really hard because I had all the excuses. And then because I had the coaching to support me, suddenly the excuses didn’t, they weren’t so good. They didn’t have so much power of me. And I was thinking, “If I can not be doing this in these circumstances, nothing can stop me.”

Kirstin:
Yes. And I want everybody to hear that. While you were in the program, you were traveling all over the world and you still showed up and you still did the work. Because people always say, “Oh, I wanted to wait until it’s the right time. Or I have this going on or that going on.” It’s like, life doesn’t really slow down. We wait for it, but it doesn’t.

Sadie:
I ended up doing the program through some of the most busy months of my life and I still made it work. And I’m so grateful for that. I just had enough and when it came time to sign up, I remember you asking me at the time of committing as well. You said, “What if this could end your bingeing forever?” And just that thought, I just thought if this actually could do that for me, that would be incredible and it has so I’m so glad I didn’t muck around waiting for the right time because I would have lost all of this time now. And I’ve gone through COVID without having this pressure over me. I’m thinking, “Wow, what would my life have been like if I hadn’t done this work?”

Kirstin:
Yes, absolutely. So what did you find to be the most challenging part of this work?

Sadie:
Being with what I would call the withdrawal, because you realize you’re using your bingeing to avoid things. You’re avoiding things you find difficult and then you kind of have to deal with them because they exist in life. It’s not possible to go through just expecting everything to be perfect in order to not binge, there was a time I didn’t use to binge. So I used to be able to deal with my problems differently, which reminded me I could learn to do it differently. So kind of the biwash of all of that, that came up, that was hard because all of a sudden I realized if I didn’t want to have that as my go-to and my relief, I needed to find a new way to do things, which meant I had to deal with the stuff I’d been avoiding.

Kirstin:
And there were lots of emotions that came up for you.

Sadie:
Yeah. Again, I was very lucky because I think one of the things I would have trouble with was the anxieties that would come up and there was a session that I was just so anxious. So I actually got to work that through. I saw how hard it was to receive some of that information because in my head I’m like, “Give up bingeing is easy.” But I guess when you’re being coached, you know that no one’s stopping you from doing what you’re doing, but you know that every session that you’re coming to, you’re going to talk about whatever’s been going on, because you’ve got an accountability time to come and look at it. You can’t like leave it in that denial space anymore because you’ve committed to talking about it.

Sadie:
And I was like, “Well, how do I want to be talking about this next week?” Is what would come up from each time. I’d be like, “What type of conversation do I want to be having?” And that meant when it got difficult, when that anxiety came up, when I felt overwhelmed, I needed to practice doing something with it now where I’m never going to get to that point I can deal with things differently.

Kirstin:
Yes. So what do you think was the biggest shift for you that like really solidified this no more bingeing thing?

Sadie:
Oh my God. My ability to… This makes me happy to think about that. My ability to trust myself is incredible because I am there for myself through everything and the most amazing thing about this process has been how I came talking about food. And by the final sessions, I wasn’t even talking about food very much because suddenly when I did the work, I was like, “Oh, I don’t really binge anymore.”

Sadie:
That thing’s not really a problem. And I remember I told you how I had a big problem with peanut butter, I used to eat peanut butter by the spoon all the time. And I was like, it wasn’t a binge. Like my binges had stopped being the big ones anyway, but it was just this little, like picking at things. And then I’d be like, “Kirstin, I’ve had a jar in my house for weeks and who cares? I’m not even noticing.” And that was amazing. And so then the thing was all the stuff I’d been avoiding, I actually got to start to deal with through coaching because the coaching isn’t just about… The bingeing is just one symptom or something deeper that’s going on. And you realize when you’re not having to spend this energy and this time worrying and fretting and beating yourself up for all of that. There’s all this energy that can go into other things.

Sadie:
And all of a sudden I was getting to talk about other things I wanted to deal with and my life was just shifting in a really amazing way.

Kirstin:
So what kind of changes have you made since then?

Sadie:
So many. So I mean, I talked about not being happy with some things I was doing work-wise and I wanted to make some really big shifts, but I was very nervous about it because of my situation with where I was living and you helping me to talk through different things about questioning the beliefs I was having that were limiting me in that regard. And I started to get really courageous from this. And I’ve actually, since then I have totally left the work I was doing, which felt just impossible to even imagine before. And I’m actually training to be a coach as well, because my life has been transformed so much by this process.

Sadie:
I am seeing myself actively work to get really, really fit. Like I’m exercising six times a week, which is just something I never used to do before. I’m getting rest, which is something I never used to do before. Just my relationships with other people who’ve been enriched and being courageous in so many things that I didn’t imagine doing. I actually can’t believe it. I feel like I’m not doing justice at all, to how big the change has been, but it’s been incredible. I feel courageous about setting the goals and just knowing I will take the steps in order to achieve them. I just feel like I can do anything at this stage if I really want to. It’s amazing.

Kirstin:
Right? You tackled this, what else can you do? So one thing you did mention in there was resting. You are a very productive person. And one of your main goals in us working together was to put your own self care first. You had a hard time slowing down and taking time for yourself. Why do you think that was?

Sadie:
Well, I think I didn’t like to deal with the feelings left behind, honestly. I think what I learned through coaching was how much my avoidance of the feelings. It wasn’t even just in the food, it was in like workaholism. Other ways that I would just try and avoid it, I would just numb out by doing other things as well. So bingeing was actually just one little segment that was causing me a lot of pain, but it was one segment of a bigger picture. And I started to see how much I didn’t like to be in the space of not having much to do because all those feelings would come up.

Sadie:
But when I stopped being so afraid of them, I saw as well that resting was an important key in my bingeing cycle, because actually what food had become was not just an avoidance of stress, but it was also something I was using for entertainment, for relief. Because I was doing so many things, that was pretty much the thing I slotted in for pleasure. And so I was pouring all of this energy into the food without realizing it and it was representing so much. So, actually the cool thing about going through coaching was realizing some of my self care was about learning to be okay with watching a movie without having any guilt. And I was like, “What kind of homework is this?”

Sadie:
Like learning to take risks, learning to tell myself that it’s okay not to work every single day of the week. As I started to do that, the interest in food also listened and I also got to come to terms with the things I’d been avoiding. It all came together really nicely.

Kirstin:
So how do you feel about food now?

Sadie:
Oh, so it’s such a funny question to consider now. It doesn’t bother me in the same way at all. I keep things in the freezer. I have leftovers in the fridge. It’s not a big deal. I’m also wanting to lose some weight at the moment. So, because I’m still working on that, but it’s also not a big deal about fretting about when that’s going to happen, because I don’t have this anxiety around the food, so I know if I just follow the plan I’ve made, it comes together.

Sadie:
Sometimes I have moments that I’ve definitely overeaten and I just sort of thought, “Well, that was not very nice.” But it’s very minor. It’s more like a little ripple of an experience that you just look back and go, “I didn’t need that second helping,” honestly, most of the time I eat a meal, I might notice a little bit of an urge to keep eating at the end, but it’s like this thing I just notice and I’m like, I know what that is. I’m actually all good.” And within 10 minutes, I’m not even thinking about it again.

Sadie:
But I enjoy food too, it’s not this thing that has just become this thing I’m totally in indifferent to, I love cooking, I love making nutritious meals, but it’s coming from such a different space. Because it’s not tied up with that guilt and all those feelings of feeling down on myself, all of that’s been cleared away. So it’s a lovely thing that’s there, but it’s not the be all and end all, it feels like a nice thing that happens a couple of times a day. And then the rest of the day I’m doing other things, not concerned.

Kirstin:
Right? Like food is just kind of a thing that you do, which sometimes is for pleasure, right? Like let’s enjoy some peanut butter sometimes.

Sadie:
Of course.

Kirstin:
How is the relationship with peanut butter these days?

Sadie:
Well, that is so nice because I remember when we talked about that at one point and you were saying, “Well, what would you like your relationship to be like?” I said, “I just want to be normal,” but what would normal be is just having some and then leaving it. That was it, I just didn’t want to have the urge to have five, six, seven tablespoons and before you know what the jar is gone in two days. And sure enough, that’s what I have is that I could just have a little bit here or there, but I also can just leave it. I’m not rushing out to get some more and the jar lasts for ages. So it’s just, it’s not the highlight of my day.

Kirstin:
Yeah. I mean, you still desire it though. There still is a desire there, but is it the same desire that was there before?

Sadie:
No. I mean, if there’s something I would want people to know about having gone through this process is that when I started, I sort of imagined more that not having those strong urges would mean that I was like being really disciplined. So if I thought about food, what would happen with coaching and stuff is that I would just be really good at saying no. But actually the reality is it’s way easier than that. What happens is the urges just died down, anytime that I get a little bit of an urge, it never has the same intensity as it used to have because I’ve stopped that cycle of feeding into it. So, I used to imagine my urges, I like the imagery of a wave. So you can sort of sense it coming up and it gets really, really, really strong.

Sadie:
And then of course, what happens with a wave is that it would wash and after the peak, but what I would do is whenever it would get really strong, I would eat then and I would break. And that’s what would happen every time. Whereas once I’ve actually learned how to be with urges and not give in to them and feed the cycle, they’re no longer big tidal waves anyway. They’re like little ripples that just, I might just get a little sensation. Oh, food. And then it’s really not this thing that I’m having a battle with anymore. The battle is gone because I’ve practice so much. I know though, as well, it could come back if I carried on that behavior. So what I get to see is that it just depends what you’re feeding into it. If I were to start bingeing over several weeks, of course I’d make that result again.

Sadie:
Of course. But the great thing is to realize from this process, you can very quickly undo any of that by just not feeding into it. And then it doesn’t, they don’t come and tap on your shoulder all the time, those urges.

Kirstin:
Yeah. So way less intense, they’re still there though. And I asked that because people have this idea that like, they’re just never going to think about food. They’re just not going to desire this stuff. And they ask me all the time, “Do you still feel urges? Do you still feel desire?” And I say exactly what you just said, but in my own words. The urge to binge is not there, but the desire to overeat or eat off by plan is still there, but I know how to handle it. And that’s really the goal.

Sadie:
Yeah. Torment is what has gone and the beautiful thing, like when I used to say, “I want to eat like a normal person,” what that meant was when I want to eat something, just eat a little bit or eat it and it’s like a regular portion. And what happens now is if I have an urge to eat something, I might be like, “Great, I’m going to eat that for dinner or I’m going to eat that tomorrow.” And it’s the problem with bingeing was not, it was that I wanted all the food all at once. Like the whole thing was the urgency, the only thing that stands between you and the food you want is time and the binges come because it’s like, I can not tolerate any time in between these things. Whereas actually when you learn to have a normal relationship again, you can have the things you want, but you’re not having to have them all at once in one meal.

Sadie:
You can have them at dinner, the next day, the next week. So, spread it out, have it like a regular person and then… If there’s a regular person relationship with food. So what I imagined a normal person would be like, and you don’t have all the consequences that come with it.

Kirstin:
Yes. So you mentioned that you still have some weight that you want to lose. How do you feel about your body now?

Sadie:
Well, I feel so much more loving towards it. I mean, I want to lose some weight, but the good thing is I haven’t lost a massive number, but I’ve also been working out with consistency I never had before. So actually I don’t even think the weight really reflects amazing amount of changes that have happened. I never liked to run and here I am running three times a week for 30 minutes each time.

Sadie:
And this is because of the process I’ve gone through and how I’ve been learning to stick by my commitments to myself. So it just bleeds out into all these other areas of my life. But in general, I’m not feeling that desperation to lose it all at once because I know it will happen as it’s meant to. But I also feel, what I feel a little bit of guilt for right now is because I’m a type one diabetic and I just reflect on all the way I was treating my body when I was bingeing. It’s a serious problem to eat in that way. It’s also just, I feel sorry for the way I treated my emotions as well, because underneath everything, I just had normal feelings and I was making them… Because I felt that they were so wrong I wasn’t giving myself the emotional nurturing that I needed, but as I’m learning to do that, it’s just paying back and the greatest way.

Sadie:
Like to learn, to show myself the self love is worth every cent because that’s the thing that’s really, really been changing my life. So I feel a lot more supportive of my body. I feel a lot more, I’m sorry for the things I did and I’m glad I get to make up for the way I treat it now by not beating up on it. By celebrating it for what it can do. By nourishing it, by letting my emotions be felt. And just really giving thanks for all the amazing things it does for me in my life.

Kirstin:
I love that. And that’s really what self love and love for your body does for you when you love something, you take care of it.

Sadie:
Yeah. And I love that I can trust I take care of it. Because when I was bingeing, the thing that would happen, I’d wake up in the morning and there’d be that so like, “Is it going to happen? Or isn’t it? Will it happen today? And we’ve got to live that again?” And that dread, whereas I just, it doesn’t even occur to me these days. I don’t have to wake up and think about that. I know it’s not going to happen.

Kirstin:
Yes. Oh, look at that confidence that you have.

Sadie:
Yeah. It’s amazing now.

Kirstin:
Yeah. So, what would you say to somebody who has been bingeing for as long as you were, as often as you were, and also has a lot of doubts about what they be able to stop too, what would you say to them?

Sadie:
It is possible. It really, truly is. But I would say it comes from trusting the process, which a lot of is about getting out of your thoughts in your head and getting into the actions. Like what’s blocking you from taking the actions? Because it’s an amazing thing to look at, it’s the most simple thing in the world, don’t put food in your mouth.

Sadie:
It doesn’t need endless Googling or anything to understand what needs to happen to stop bingeing, but it is the most difficult thing. It’s so difficult. Out of all the things I’ve achieved in my life, it’s probably one of the most difficult things I’ve had to overcome because there’s so many things going on in there with our evolutionary drives our emotions, dealing with the pressures of things, all of that stuff is in there driving us to think this is a good idea in the moment. But it absolutely is possible if you trust the process, do the work, look at the actions, stop overthinking it. Don’t think you’re the only person that couldn’t do it. It’s just you’re brain, you’re just learning to not constantly put food in your mouth, that’s all you’ve got to learn.

Kirstin:
Yes. So any other words of wisdom that you would like to share that you have not shared already?

Sadie:
I would say looking at our actions is the most important thing. Because I think when I was going through this as well, when I was staying stuck in my head, that’s also the place I was going, where I was judging myself for not making enough progress, worrying about what was going to happen in the future. Is this going to work out or not? And when I could actually focus on the actions I was taking, that is the process. The work is done in the actions. And the more that my brain is… I mean, one of the reasons that I think it’s easier to not binge now is I’m spending less time in my mind with all the worries. So my mind is able to go to other places. And so the actions take care of themselves. So don’t overthink it, focus on what you’re doing and trust the process is what I’d say.

Kirstin:
Yeah. And I think even what you said, like there’s just so much less worry in there. So, we talk about, you talk about focusing on the actions, but a lot of the work that we did was actually focusing on your thoughts and we really worked through your thoughts to make it easier for you to do all that you’ve done. We get rid of all the crap in your head. Right? All of the thoughts and the beliefs that are just not serving you so you can stop worrying. And with less worry comes less, like you said, less torment in your head and you’re going to binge, am I not? Like let’s just get rid of all of that and just get to work.

Sadie:
Yeah. I think that was the most important thing out of the coaching process was just that I got the tools on how to deal with that so that I wasn’t just like blindly going through things when the triggers would come up, I knew how to respond to them. I had the missing piece that I needed.

Kirstin:
Yes. And I love that too, you knew how to respond. Because people get so caught up, they’re like, “I need to be able to contact you when I’m feeling an urge.” And I’m like, “No, you don’t because I’m going to teach you how to feel an urge, like how to go through it. So you’re not relying on another person, you can rely on yourself.” You get your tools, you know how to use them. Like you said, building that trust in yourself so that you know you can take care of you.

Sadie:
I think on that point, one really important thing I was just thinking about was the timing of my coaching, I was also doing it while I was traveling, but one thing was it clashed with a holiday. And because of that, there was like week that I wasn’t seeing you. And that was really good because it was around the time that I was like, “If I’m going to get anything out of this, I have to do it myself.” And then I was like, “Well, I know that it’s holiday time.” And so I would think like, “What can I showing myself I can do my own this week? I’ve got the tools, how can I put it into practice?”

Sadie:
So instead of looking at that break as like a problem. Like I can’t do this without this thing, I was trying to see it as an opportunity. This is an opportunity for me to practice these things that we’ve worked on and then I would think, “What type of discussion do I want to be having at the next session? How do I want to be showing up?” I don’t want to be giving and talking about how I failed at this again. I was like, I want to talk about how I got over it. So it was like, what are the things I need to put in place?

Kirstin:
Yes. Oh my gosh. So awesome. I love your story and I am so happy to see that you are where you are right now. It’s so amazing. Congratulations. You did it.

Sadie:
Thank you. Yeah, but I mean, I really do have to say thank you, Kirstin. It is one of the best things that I decided to do, seriously. I just can not believe how much this has helped me in so many aspects of my life. And when I asked about signing up, you said, “What if you would stop bingeing forever?” And that really is feeling like a possibility. I’m not at forever yet, but it’s just, I can’t believe when I reflect back now how those seven years, how tormenting they were, and it feels like an old story, it’s incredible how different my life is.

Kirstin:
Yeah. And you may not be at forever yet, but what’s wonderful is the confidence that you have in your ability. And that’s what it’s all about. Like, let’s say that in 10 years from now you do have a binge, would it be that big of a deal, do you think?

Sadie:
No, because what used to happen was when I would have a binge, then I would go off for several days. And it would fell, “Oh, it’s too late. It’s all over.” I heard someone talk about this once and they said, it’s like, you’re going on a drive to Florida and then you take a detour to… no, sorry, Florida. You’re going to drive across the country, but you take a detour to Florida to Disneyland and you just keep going. And they were saying when you learn to have more mindfulness about what’s going on, you can instead of having a detour and going all the way to Disneyland, you can just go off the road and then turn back onto the road that you were going on. And that’s what it seems like now. A little thing happens like, Oh, yesterday, maybe I ate and that was definitely comfort eating and I go, “That wasn’t really needed. Why did I do that? Well, let’s check out what was going on.” And then I move on and it doesn’t, there’s no longer this big fall off the wagon.

Kirstin:
Exactly. So the confidence is there, the knowledge is there, you know how to apply it. You have your tools, you have everything that you need.

Sadie:
Yeah, it’s amazing. It’s really been amazing.

Kirstin:
It’s so awesome. Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story with everybody. I’m sure that so many people are going to hear this and relate and feel some hope, feel some inspiration, feel so many feelings. I mean, I feel so many feelings just listening to you. It’s so awesome.

Sadie:
I really hope so. If anyone who’s listening to this is really struggling. It was an amazing thing to go through. Even if you’re trying to apply the things that you’re hearing on Kirstin’s amazing podcast. Keep sticking at it because it truly is possible. And I’m just so glad to not have to continue that old story.

Kirstin:
Yes. Thank you so much for being here.

Sadie:
Thank you, Kirstin.

So, after we did our call, Sadie emailed me and told me there was one more thing she wanted to add that she wished she’d said. This is what she wrote to me:

I’ve been thinking a lot about something I wish I’d said. For the question at the end about words of advice, what I wouldhave said if I’d thought of it was to focus on one thing at a time and chipping away at the blocks one by one. It’s easy to get overwhelmed thinking about all of the changes but that helped me immensely to narrow my focus to mastering things piece by piece which began to combine together and make everything easier as I build my skills. That was really important knowledge for me so I thought I’d share in case it’s worth adding that in.”

So good right?? I just love hearing her insights and about how far she’s come and the changes she’s made not only with her eating but in her whole life. So amazing, I love it so much.

If this is something you want for yourself, if you want to change your eating AND change your life, and you’re ready to make an investment in yourself, you have to join me in my Stop Binge Eating Group Coaching Program.

It is the best binge eating program, my people are seeing fantastic results, and being in a group while you’re doing this work not only makes it more fun, but you all learn so much from each other and you get to do this work with people who get you and truly understand what you’re going through.

If you’re ready to make some serious changes in yourself, go to coachkir.com/mini to request your free mini session where you’ll get all the details about how the group works, how I can help you, and see if we’re a good fit for working together.

I can’t wait to talk with you!

Bye bye!

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