Have you ever had thoughts like, “I already messed up so I might as well keep going” or “I went over my calorie goal so I might as well just binge on all the food I don’t allow myself to have?”
These, and so many just like them, are the all or nothing thoughts.
As soon as you make a mistake, even just a little one, then everything you truly want for yourself long-term is out the window.
You’re using one mistake as an excuse to make an even bigger mistake or multiple ones.
But living this way is a choice you’re making every time.
You can mess up and not binge. You can go over your calorie goal or go off your eating plan and not binge.
The option is always there.
So why do you choose to allow yourself to give up all that you truly want?
Part of this problem is just that you have the belief that you are an “all or nothing person.”
This is not something you’re born with. I know it may feel like acting this way is innate for you, but I want to tell you that it’s not.
It’s just a thought you’ve thought over and over again so much that you now believe it. You’ve created evidence that this is how you are just by continually telling yourself that this is how you are and therefore living in that way.
Telling yourself that this is just how you are and there’s nothing you can do about it is untrue.
It’s also a really good excuse for you to binge.
If there is a part of you that wants to binge, and if you ever binge then there most definitely is, then you’ll look for any reason to do it.
Telling yourself you live in an all or nothing world creates black and white thinking. Either you succeed or you fail.
But the good news is, there’s many more options! There is a whole grey area between the two, full of learning experiences and mistakes.
You have to learn to, and you can, experience this grey area.
There is no reason why you wouldn’t be capable of doing it.
If you’re used to giving up so easily, it’s going to be hard to allow yourself to make a mistake without throwing in the towel.
But don’t think for a second that you can’t do it. It just takes practice.
Start by finding evidence in your life where you don’t believe you are all or nothing. A simple example – if you’re late to work, do you just give up and go home? Probably not. You show up late and get to work. Showing up late wasn’t a complete failure, it just wasn’t an ideal way to start your work day.
If you mess up with your eating, it doesn’t have to mean that you just give up and ruin everything you’ve worked for. Think about the times when you ate really well all day, or all week. There’s a good chance there was some all or nothing thinking going on when you had that first bite of the binge.
Find the grey area. Look for opportunities where you can practice being in there.
Your world doesn’t have to exist in black and white.