If you want to stop binge eating, you have to stop giving in to your urges to do it.
In case you don’t know, an urge is a strong desire or impulse. So when you feel like you so strongly have to binge or you’re going to die, that is an urge.
Not giving in to urges is difficult because of the feeling you’re left with if you don’t binge.
Committing to saying no, following through, and allowing yourself to feel the discomfort of an unanswered urge is hard.
But it needs to be done and you are absolutely capable of doing it.
What you need to remember is that every time you give in to an urge, it’s a choice.
When an alcoholic gives in to their urge to drink, they’re choosing it. When a smoker gives in to their urge to smoke, they’re choosing it.
They choose it because they believe that the urging feeling is unbearable and the only way out of that feeling is to give in to the urge.
However, that belief is just a belief. It’s a thought that’s been thought so many times that it now feels like the truth. The good news is, our thoughts are just our opinions, they are optional, and you can choose to think your urges are unbearable or you can choose to think differently.
If you choose to continue to think they’re unbearable then guess what – they will be.
When you break it down, urges really aren’t as awful as we imagine them to be.
You have some thoughts and feelings that are encouraging you to binge.
You can say no.
When someone else encourages you to do something you don’t want to do, you can say no. There is no difference here except that since this urging is coming from in your head you think it’s necessary and required.
If you allow an urge to be there, without reacting to it and without resisting it, it will go away.
I had this experience many times when I’d get an urge to binge while I was around other people. Since I couldn’t give in, I just had to let it be there and eventually it would go away.
Have you had a similar experience? If so, then you know you’re capable of not giving in. What you do around other people you can do when you’re alone.
It’s so important to practice not giving in to urges because if you continue to give in, they’ll continue to show up. If you stop giving them what they want, they’ll stop appearing and asking.
Next time you feel an urge, know that you don’t have to give in to it, even if it feels like you do.
If you’re not sure what an urge feels like or when you’re feeling an urge, it’s because you’re not practicing self-awareness. I talked about this last week and you can find my blog post here if you missed it.
Stay present with yourself. Don’t check out. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. An urge is just a feeling caused by a thought you’re thinking and if you’re taking the time to observe yourself and what’s going on, you’ll be able to recognize it.
Allow your urges to be there. Allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. You can choose the discomfort of allowing and unanswered urge, or you can choose the discomfort of binge eating.