Ep #20: Eating What You Want

Hi! How are you? I’m so good. Good things and fun times are happening people and I am loving it. Alright, let’s talk about being able to eat whatever you want.

As you know, and if you don’t know, go listen to episode 4, a lot of bingeing comes from restriction, by saying you can’t eat foods that you think you’ll binge on or foods you think are bad.

So we’re told to eat what we want if we want to stop binge eating and for some this concept can be quite confusing.

I know for me when I was bingeing this idea didn’t make much sense because if I did that I would binge. I’d want to eat a whole pizza and a large french fry and multiple cookies all in one sitting, so how could doing that lead me to not bingeing? It was bingeing! So confusing!

If I ate what I wanted then I would be eating crap all the time.

The problem people have with this concept is that they take the suggestion of eating what they want and make it mean they can just respond to their urges and desires and let themselves be free to run amuck without constraint.

They think that if they want to binge or want to overeat then allowing themselves to do that is kind and useful because they’re not restricting themselves.

But bingeing, overeating, and letting yourself be unrestrained or uninhibited is not kind or useful.

It’s not going to end well and it’s not going to give you the results you want.

Yes you want to be free to do what you want, but don’t you also want to be free to have the life you want? One where you don’t binge, don’t overeat more often than not, and don’t act impulsively and without regard for yourself?

The big question here to ask yourself is, what do you want?

If you give yourself permission to eat what you want, and however you want, what does that look like in your life?

Now, you’re welcome to say that you want to binge and overeat. That is an option for you. You’re welcome to say that you want to eat an entire pizza everyday. Or that you want to eat junk food all the time.

You can decide to have your eating life look however you want it to.

But I’m guessing that you don’t want it to look that way, that instead you want it to be a healthy one.

Most of the people I talk to want to eat healthy foods a majority of the time and then have a treat every now and then.

That’s how I eat too. The truth is, I eat the way I want to. That means I mostly eat foods in their natural state and I eat until I’m full and then on occasion I eat something that’s not at all nutritious and there is no food that I can’t have when I do. That’s what it means for me to eat whatever I want. I decided on a guideline that works for me and my body and serves me well and it’s what I genuinely want to do.

What happens for a lot of people is they start going by someone else’s guidelines or a diet they’re following and then feel all resentful because they don’t get to eat what they want.

I say, make up your own rules!

What foods do you want in your life? How often do you want to be eating them? And how much do you want to eat of them?

Don’t hold back, don’t worry about whether foods are bad or what will lead to a binge. Just uncover your true wants.

And I want you to really think about this. You might want to say that you want to eat junk food all day everyday, just like I said before how I thought eating what I wanted meant pizza, fries, and cookies all the time. But really….is that what you reallywant?

Because when we make decisions like this, we have to consider all that goes along with it. We can’t just say we want to eat all the crap without the consequences. The consequences are real and they’re going to happen. If I did eat that stuff all day everyday then I’d feel awful all day every day. So no, I honestly don’t want that.

I want to feel good and the way I do that is by eating foods that fuel me most of the time and eat joy foods, foods meant purely for pleasure and enjoyment, once or twice a week. That’s how I want to eat.

So how do you want to eat? What do you want to eat?

Take some time to think this over and make sure when you’re figuring this out that it’s during a time when you’re not feeling urges and not feeling emotionally charged. You don’t want to make your decision right after you binged or when you’re feeling an urge and are upset and make your decision to be super restrictive.

When you’re feeling good and hopeful and positive about what’s possible for you, that’s a great time to think about what you want your ideal eating to look like. And be realistic and truthful without yourself!

Then once you know, then you know, and there’s no questioning it.

Your urges are going to push you to eat differently than you truly want to. Expect that.

But instead of going along with it or pushing back, acknowledge the urge and remind yourself of what you truly want.

It’s not the urge we want to listen to when it comes to abiding by what we want, it’s our true self. The part of you that doesn’t want to binge.

You have to know what it is that you really want to do in order to follow through on eating what you want, what you reallywant.

And I want to be clear here that you’re giving yourself permission to eat the foods that you want but not permission to overeat them all the time. Once in awhile, sure, maybe you’re going to choose to overeat for whatever reason. None of us are ever going to be perfect eaters.

But know there’s a difference between giving yourself freedom to eat any food and giving yourself the freedom to overeat anytime you feel an urge, desire, or craving to do so.

The skill you want to start building in your life is the ability to not react to every urge, craving, or desire you feel.

The way you do this is by deciding ahead of time what, when, and how much you’re going to eat and if you feel an urge to do otherwise, then you have to remind yourself of why you’re not going to obey that urge. Remind yourself of it as often as you can and get really good at thinking about your reasons why.

Joy foods can be a part of your life if you want them to be. There’s no reason why you should not be able to eat a piece of cake at a birthday party if you want to. But does that mean you’re also going to eat a second slice and multiple servings of all the other food at the party and then go home and eat more because you want to in that moment because you’re feeling an urge to do it? Nope. We’re not talking about following the wants your urges produce, we’re talking about the wants you, you your true self want for you.

Decide how you want to incorporate joy foods into your life. And decide what fuel foods you want too. Nothing is off limits and it’s your life, your way of eating, and you get to decide what you want it to look like.

So what eating habits do you want to be a part of your life? And don’t just say you want to eat healthy and eat in moderation, know exactly what healthy eating and moderation mean to youbecause they’re such vague terms. What they mean to me could mean something different to you. And how you want to eat may be different from how I want to eat. We all want different things and it’s time to figure out what you want and make it work for you.

So what does it mean for youto eat whatever you want? And don’t forget to factor in how you want to feel after you eat, that matters and is a big part of it.

Figure out the foods you want to eat and how much of them and be honest and realistic with yourself as you decide.

Before I go, I want to let you know that mini sessions are filling up quickly so if you want to start working with me before the year is over or at the start of the new year, don’t wait, book yourself asap and make sure you get on my calendar. I’m anticipating I’m going to have to start a waitlist soon so get on it before I do! coachkir.com/mini or you an find the link on the show notes page at coachkir.com/20. Have a great week, bye bye!