Believing you can do something is such an important step you have to take before you can actually do it. But sometimes it’s hard when you don’t have the evidence to back it up.
In this episode, I’m going to show you how what you believe about yourself makes such a big impact and how you can change what you believe. Yes you can make this change so listen to learn how.
Hi! How are you doing? I’m so great, thanks for asking. So I gotta say, I’m loving hearing from you all and so glad to hear you’re finding what you’re learning to be helpful.
As you work on applying what you learn, there’s one thing I want you to make sure that you do. It’s really important and needs to happen in order for you to even try.
You have to believe you can do it.
Imagine you’ve just listened to one of my episodes and you learn a really great concept or a useful tool and then think, “Yeah, that makes so much sense, but I don’t think I can do that.”
Where’s that going to get you?
You’re giving up before you even try. You’re not even giving yourself a chance to see if you can do it.
Or maybe you do try and you think it’s too hard and that it’s not going to work for you so you just stop trying.
You’re deciding ahead of time that it’s too hard or that you’re just not capable of that.
When I was bingeing, there were times I believed I’d be able to stop for good and many times I didn’t and what would I do when I didn’t? Give up.
I’d just go on a binge fest for days. I’d binge one day, then the next day I’d keep it going, and then the next day I’d just do it again because why not? This is how it’s just going to be right?
But the thing is, as long as I believed I’d struggle with binge eating forever, then I was going to keep myself bingeing. Then on the rare days I believed there was a way out, I spent time searching for what it was and trying what I learned.
If you don’t believe you can, you won’t.
If you don’t believe you can, you will not take the necessary actions to make it happen.
Breaking your binge eating habit and not giving in to urges and using your self-control are all challenging things to do when you’re not used to doing them.
It’s going to take effort and if you don’t think it will make a difference, if you think you can’t do it anyway, then why would you even bother putting in that effort? You wouldn’t. You’d think it’s a waste of time and energy.
Here’s how this limiting belief about your capability shows up in your life. You think about stopping binge eating and believe you will have to struggle forever. So you feel defeated. So you just give in to your urges and don’t apply anything you’ve learned. And you prove to yourself that the struggle will continue.
This is how it’s going to work out every time.
You believe you can’t and prove to yourself that you can’t.
You create more and more evidence for yourself that you indeed will continue this struggle.
The problems here are that not only are you reinforcing your belief about your capabilities every time you think that way, but you’re also using past evidence to predict what you’re capable of doing in the future.
“Well, I’ve struggled for such a long time so I guess the future will be the same.”
No, it doesn’t have to be that way.
So much of what we believe now is based on out pasts, but if you only do what you’ve been able to do before, then you’ll never do something new.
And you’ll never do something new if you keep looking to what you’ve done in the past to predict what you can do in the future.
You can do something new and different and be successful even if you haven’t before, but only if you believe it’s possible.
So how do you believe something new? How do you believe that you can do something you’ve never been able to do before?
Let’s start with what a belief even is. A belief is just a thought you’ve thought over and over so many times that now it seems very true. I also Googled the definition and the first one that came up was , “an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.” It’s not saying it is true, but that you’re accepting that it’s true.
The reason why this is so great is that you can learn to accept something else as true. You can think another thought over and over and believe something different.
Beliefs are changeable and this is a fantastic thing.
Figure out what you believe now. Be honest with yourself. Do you believe you can get to the place where you never binge again? Do you kinda believe it? Do you not believe it at all?
How you feel when you think about your belief will determine whether you take action or just succumb to your binge urges.
Think you can do it? Then you’ll feel confident and then do the work you need to do and put in the effort necessary.
Think maybe you can do it? Then you’ll feel curious about what’s possible or hopeful and try some things.
Thank you can’t? Just like I described before. You’ll feel defeated and give up trying.
The truth is, we don’t actually know what we’re capable of in the future. Right now we just have an idea about what we can do. It’s all in our imaginations, so why not just believe we can?
There is really no downside to this.
You may think it’s delusional for you to believe you can, but it’s delusional to think you can’t. I honestly believe that any human is capable of breaking their binge eating habit. Any. As long as they have the right tools and guidance and are willing to make mistakes and are willing to put in effort.
I know you probably want evidence ahead of time that you’ll be able to be successful and here’s what I can tell you about that.
You probably already have some. Do you have evidence that you can stop forever? No, but you have evidence that you are capable of taking fundamental steps towards making that happen.
Any time you ever didn’t binge when you wanted to, that’s proof right there. Any time you didn’t binge when you were around other people and you were feeling an urge to do it, that’s proof right there.
If there are any times you can think of that you didn’t binge when you felt an urge, even if it was for even 5 minutes, then you have proven that you are capable of not immediately reacting to an urge. If you can not immediately react to an urge for 5 minutes, then you can learn to do it for 6, and 7, and 8, and however many minutes it takes until it goes away and the urge to binge is no more.
If you can find any evidence to oppose your belief that you are not capable, then you will begin shifting that belief. Even just a little shift can make a big difference in your behavior.
Maybe I can do it. It’s possible I can do it. If other people can do it, there’s a really good chance that I can too.
Then when you begin acting differently and trying new things or putting more effort into things you’ve already tried but gave up on, then you’ll start creating new evidence to support a better, stronger belief in yourself.
Decide what you want to believe every day. What’s the small step away from where you are now that will give you that boost to keep going?
Practice believing it. And not just on the days you think are good days. I hear that from people, “On a good day I believe it.” No, every day. Every day remind yourself of your previous accomplishments no matter how small they may seem.
Every day is an opportunity for you to better yourself no matter what. Take advantage of that opportunity.
Just because you haven’t been successful every time doesn’t mean you aren’t capable.
When you look to the future, you can believe whatever you want to believe about what’s possible, so why not believe something good?
Decide what you want to believe and practice believing it. Look for evidence to prove it. Remember that one time? Focus on that.
Don’t give up on yourself.
Alright you guys, have a wonderful week believing in yourself and don’t forget to take a minute to write a review for this podcast if you haven’t already. I’d really appreciate it! Talk to you next week!